Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter


 

An extremely moving talk about Rosemary Kennedy.  Please see the entire video at the bottom of this post. For whatever we think of the Kennedy’s especially Joe Kennedy I found myself listening to this talk from the perspective of parents with an intellectually/developmentally disabled child. Despite all their resources and riches the techniques, programs, services and medical care that is available today was not there in the 1920s/1930s.

In some parts of the film relate to the mother Rose Kennedy via my mother Mable Palmer. I can clearly imagine the frustration of placing your child in school after school waiting for the miracle result that never manifests even with all your wealth, power and influence.  Like the Kennedy’s our parents always impressed upon me that we must stick together. “Blood is thicker than water.”  As you know from previous posts I am very protective of my brother Stephen.   I also know and remember the stigma, shame and guilt my mother Mable Palmer went through in the 1960s/70s so it must have been even worse in the 1920s/30s.

Initially Stephen screamed. All. The. Time.  I don’t know how my mother managed. Dad went to work every day so he got a break.  After a time Stephen stopped screaming and eventually did speak but to this day he cannot carry on a conversation though he will listen to the other people around him and respond if questioned.

However my parents drew the line at any type of medical experimentation. Plus being working class obviously our parents especially our Mom were much more hands on. Daddy did take us out on the weekends so Mommy could get a break. They refused to institutionalize Stephen.

However having said that I cannot pass judgments on Joe and Rose Kennedy having Rosemary lobotomized. At that time a lobotomy was considered a cure for various types of mental illness.  I would guess they were at their wits end given Rosemary’s behavior. Sadly Rosemary Kennedy came out of the surgery totally disabled. She was the sacrificial lamb. Not a Happy Ending.  At that point in the documentary I wanted to cry.

I’m very glad that my parents did not put Stephen away into an institution. I’m grateful that Stephen and I grew up together. I remember back in 1989 when Stephen was placed into his current Group Home. Even though I was the one who worked to get him placed into a facility because my parents were becoming ill and could no longer care for Stephen, I cried the first night I came home from work and Stephen was not there running down the stairs to greet me.

Thanks to Eunice Kennedy Stephen did participate for many years in the local Special Olympics held at St. John’s University in Queens, New York.

Thank you to all the Kennedys’ who after witnessing this horrible event happen to their beloved sister worked to make things better for intellectually/developmentally disabled people today. No matter what side of the political fence you’re on without the hard work and tenacity of the Kennedy siblings we would still be in the Dark Ages of institutionalized warehousing.

See Willowbrook State School:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willowbrook_State_School

Thank you Rosemary Kennedy for being a transformation for good! God Bless you for now you reside in your Heavenly home well, happy, healthy and free!!

Thank you Lord God Jehovah for my brother Stephen Vincent Palmer. For all the progress he made in spite of the negative reports from those doctors back in 1963 when he was two years old.  God knew better because Stephen is one of His special children. Thanks to our parents who believed that Stephen could learn, who treated him just like any other child, gave him chores to do up to and including his abilities and disciplined him teaching him right from wrong so that today Stephen is a contributing member of society.  He is more than my sibling. He is my companion. My friend. My life long partner and I would never trade or ask the Heavens for a so-called “normal” sibling when I have the most perfect brother in the world!!

I Love You Stephen Vincent Palmer!!

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Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter

Share Your World – 2016 Week 40


 

https://ceenphotography.com/2016/10/03/share-your-world-2016-week-40/

Share Your World – 2016 Week 40

041514 sywbanner

 

Why did you start blogging?

To gain exposure for my writing and photography as well as to engage with those of similar interests. Also to inspire, uplift and encourage people worldwide.

A piece of clothing you still remember?

An Asian dress that fitted me like a glove. It looked like I was poured into the dress. Was like having a second skin. Also helped that at that time I was in my 20s so I looked a whole lot better than I do now! Something similar to the one shown below.

http://www.idreammart.com/periwing-navy-blue-satin-frog-button-dragon-and-phoenix-mini-chinese-dress-qipao-1020969.html

 

Periwing Navy Blue Satin Frog Button Dragon and Phoenix Mini Chinese Dress Qipao
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Periwing Navy Blue Satin Frog Button Dragon and Phoenix Mini Chinese Dress Qipao

Who are you trying to reach with your blog?

Folks with an interest in writing especially poetry plus short stories, commentary and photography. My Photography Blog is Roaming Urban Gypsy.

Those who like to engage in enlightened intellectual discussion and people with a sense of humor.

Is there a stuffed animal in your bedroom?

SpongeBob Squarepants. Oh wait! He is not animal or is he?  Not sure whether a sponge is considered an animal or not?!  As for the rest of my stuffed animals they are downstairs boxed up because if I put all of them on my bed my cat Sylvester and I wouldn’t have any room to sleep! LOL!

The best birthday present ever?

The Gift of another Year of Life.

What would surprise me about you?

“Though she be but little, she is fierce!”

William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

The Following Magnificent Email Message from my brother Stephen who is an Amazing Awesome Autism Guy!!

Hi sister how are you doing today . I had a good day at program today , I draw and colored with my peers, I also helped with the paper work in the class room . After i went to lunch, it was good i really enjoyed lunch time with my friends. I wanted to know if you still have the drawing of the picture i made.

 

As Always I’m Grateful to Cee Neuner for Her Wonderful Photography Challenges!  I too have some old paternal family photos some dating back to right after the Civil War.  I will share those in my next post.  When I was living in Rochdale Village, Jamaica, Queens I had a combination printer/copier/Scanner so I scanned as many of my family photos as possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stylin’ Sibs and Family!!


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/stylish/#like-249669

Stylish

Stephen and I have been Stylin’ since we were babies.  I grew up as a Girly Girl. A real Clotheshorse especially when I was younger. I had more shoes in my closet than Imelda Marcos and after I moved into my own apartment the clothes bar in my closet broke under the weight of all my outfits!  LOL!! My Dad used to joke that I had to get dressed just to put out the garbage. I think that I took after my Aunt Thelma who had those same attributes and passed them along to me!!  LOL!!

I was never much on make-up (except lip stick otherwise I look like a blank slate), fake eyelashes or fake nails but since my job requires me to be on my feet for long hours bi-monthly pedicures are a must. I do get manicures but neat, short, clean with clear polish because I still must cook, clean the house and do dishes.  Of course hair care is a must!! As you can see from my photos I’ve had every hair style know to Black People from the 60s up to and including the present. Now I color my hair. I loathe gray hair. I do not look good in gray hair and let’s not advance my age more than it is already. Getting older should not include looking like a frump or a bag lady.  Yes, Vanity Thy Name is Woman!! LOL!!

My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer who was born in the small town of Davy, WV and raised in Dayton, Ohio also Loved to dress well. Her beauty and style are what captured the heart of my Dad Edward G. Palmer.

My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer.

My Paternal Aunts Thelma Palmer Varner and Helen Palmer Garcia.

 

Stylin’ Sibs plus Dad!!

 

 

 

 

The Black Twiggy Plus Funny Story


 

 

When I was a child the other school kids used to make fun of me calling me the “Black Twiggy.”  As you can see from my childhood and young adult photos I was as thin as a rail. It was not until my 40s that I began to gain some much needed weight. Recently since my brother Stephen needed a food supplement I started back drinking Ensure. Tastes good and helps us not only maintain but to gain weight. Like Twiggy I too wanted to be a model but unlike her my dream of being a model did not come true except for mugging for the camera on this blog!!

Some of my photos Past & Present

 

Funny 1970 Montreal, Canada Family Vacation Story

Funny story regarding the 1970 Summer Montreal Trip with my Dad, Aunt Helen and brother Stephen. We went visit a home designed for dwarfs. Now in those days they were called midgets but the correct term in dwarf. The Lady Dwarf in the photo was born to Dwarf Parents. Her parents had constructed a house where everything was scaled down to their size. For me I was about 11 at the time it was like being a in Doll house. Of course being curious I wanted to know why she was so small. I had never seen a dwarf up until that time and I could not understand why an adult would be so little!!  My Dad sensed that I was about to ask an inappropriate question so he silenced me with a Look!!  Back then you did not ask about why certain people looked different or what made them that way. It was considered bad manners.

deborah_dad_family-34
Montreal 1970

Now A Days is different. One day years ago a dwarf lady was looking at one of the paintings in my gallery. There was a little girl about 3 or 4 years of age who spotted her and like me back then was surprised to see such a small adult. Believe me kids automatically know that dwarfs are not children. Any way kids being kids she hopped right over to stare at the dwarf lady who had her back to the child. The dwarf woman feeling eyes on her turned around and smiled. No words were exchanged. The little girl went back to her stroller and the dwarf woman went back to enjoying the paintings.  I suppose the Dwarf Lady was used to kids staring at her and that’s why she smiled.

Being taught good manners and to keep my mouth shut has helped me in my current job as a museum security guard.  I see all types of people with disabilities and even though I want to know what happened I do not ask. Actually we are not allowed to say anything evenly remotely rude or inappropriate. For example Monday a young woman with no arms or legs was in my gallery. Naturally seeing someone with such an extreme disability can catch you off guard but I treat them as I treat any other visitor with a smile and assistance if needed.

 

 

 

Twiggy Biography

The Struggle Continues………..


 

Went for a Follow-up visit to my G.P. My doctor found my pulse and blood pressure to be normal. Gained some much needed weight. Received my Flu Shot. Made appointments with the ENT specialist and gastro specialist. Will see the ENT today to find out the cause of the clicking and popping noises in my right ear. As for the gastro he is booked until November. So must wait until then. All in all a good doctor visit. Doctor also says much of my joint pain will subside once I retire. Prolonged standing, in my case 8 to 12 hours a day is not good for anyone.

One thing I wanted to add especially for my new Followers/Subscribers is that I had a mini-stroke while at my job Nov. 2008. I was lucky in the sense that I had the stroke at work because I live alone and if I had the stroke at home I would have been dead. Unlucky in that job-related stress can either disable or kill you. Since 2008 I have had Retina Surgery and been rushed to the hospital several times for various ailments.  So far 2016 has been a good year for me just because no hospital visits or stays. However I must admit to myself I am getting older and with age come health issues.

Group Home Update

I spoke with the director of my brother Stephen’s Residence yesterday. He will conduct an inventory of his clothing and email it to me. For those of you who wonder why I don’t go there in person the reason being that I can no longer drive. That stroke I previously mentioned took much of the vision in my left eye. Stephen’s residence is not accessible either by subway or bus. The nearest bus stop is probably a mile away from the Group Home. I do not have anyone to drive me nor do I have the money or funds to hire a taxi to take me there.

Call Out

I notice from my last post about my troubles with the staff at Stephen’s group home that most of the comments were about what I should be doing. Who I should be calling, etc… Now if I could or had the power to do any of these things I would be doing them. I suppose those of you who commented meant well but put yourself in my place. I’m Alone. I have NO Support System. ALL my immediate family are DEAD!!  There are no programs/services available to full-time working Siblings that could help me.

For those of you who commented Put yourself in my place. Imagine ALL your family were deceased and I mean ALL. On top of that imagine working a low-paying job where you are barely making ends meet and your employer frowned on family leave. It is very difficult or nearly impossible for me to get time off for either Stephen or myself.  As much as I Love my brother there are things that I cannot do anymore. I need someone right here, right now, physically available who can help me. See below NY Times Article.

The New York Times did an article on my brother Stephen and me. Please take time to read this eye opening article of our lives. Thank you.
http://nyti.ms/1BktTeP

 

Between 2008 and early 2014 I actually had to go to the local Food Pantries in my neighborhood in order to eat. I’ve had to apply for government assistance even though I work hours and hours of overtime just trying to meet my needs.  In 2014 my finances got a little better for a very short period of time. I was able to eat better and actually buy some winter clothes that kept me warm. New York City has brutal winters.  Finally this year I declared Bankruptcy. Yes my finances are that bad.

As for my join pain, gastro problems and arthritis I won’t go into the lurid, nasty disgusting details but I don’t have any more sick leave because I’m always sick. There are days when I can’t get out of bed or function. There is nobody for me to call on for help. All my vacations are Staycations because I can’t afford to go anywhere and the money I do have is spent on doctors and searching for ways to alleviate chronic pain. Plus I’m tired No Not Just tired but physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Those of you who talk about my capabilities/abilities or whatever trust me I have none otherwise none of these bad things would be happening.

Of course many times when I really feel burdened I wish I had somebody to talk to but in reality that person does not exist. If they do exist please provide me with the money to get there.

My Life was not always this way. When I was younger I did not have these health problems.  For my Blog Newcomers I served my country in the military, the United States Army from Nov. 1977 – Nov. 1981, Please Don’t Thank me. I cannot eat or pay my rent with Thanks. Instead encourage Uncle Sam to be a better Uncle and provide more and better services to Women Veterans. I went to college and graduated with honors.

My downfall came partly from the economic crash the United States experienced from the time I got laid off from my good job Dec. 2006 right before Christmas and the rest from the steady decline of my health even though I never smoked, never did drugs, rarely drank and always did some moderate exercise.

It’s always easy to say what a person under extreme stress should or should not be doing but Keep in Mind You Know Neither their Story or Their Song.

Sometimes bad luck is irreversible.  Sadly in my case all the balls I’ve been trying to juggle have fallen on the floor and I can’t reach them.  All I can do is stand in wonder looking at them lying there and continue to wonder how I got to this point in Life.