Baby Boy

He looked like an Angel albeit a broken Angel splayed out on the cold marble floor. His head at angles with his twisted body along with his staring unseeing eyes extinguished any hope that the embers of life still burned within him.  The earth came up to meet him and swallowed him into the heavens.  The Benjamins make a poor parachute.

Cupid shot by his own Arrow.
Cupid shot by his own Arrow.


Baby Boy

Baby Boy Got $200 sneakers as a reward for cussing the teachers and failing in school. Teacher or principals fault. Grades all F but it ain’t me you fucked up can’t you see! School’s for Fools. Some place I don’t want to be.

Baby Boy he never wrong. They got it all mixed up seeing me strong. Y’all know I’m the King of my crew. God’s Gift to everything.

But in the back of your head all you can see is yo’ no count Daddy, welfare system and crackhead Momma staring back in the mirror saying you gonna be like me.

Hanging out in the upper class nabe with my hoodrat crew. See a few things I wanna take. Wait a minute! What’s that I hear! A siren in back of me. Starting to fear. Next thing I’m on Lock down in Juvie Hall. Where my crew at now when as I’m taking this fall.

Baby boy lying in a ditch. Worse off than being a Snitch. Off to Rikers’ to be somebody’s Bitch. Baby Boy. You Done. You Done.


His rhymes had got him to the big time. Opened new doors of upper class vice and sin. The immoralities of the 1%. I gazed at my son from the balcony of one of the greatest art institutions in the city seeing not the young man who had entered the 27 Club of the Immortals but every little boy running up and down Linden Blvd., Jamaica Avenue, Fulton Street or Sedgwick Avenue running to be the next 50 cent or Jay-Z finding fame and winding up on 27 Jump Street misjudging the doubles lives one foot in the hood and the other on Central Park West or the Upper East Side seeking Hipster fame and validation.

Jump my Son/Sun. Jump out of your dreams and into Eternity.

Share Your World – 2016 Week 43


Share Your World – 2016 Week 43

Share Your World – 2016 Week 43


What are you really glad you did yesterday?

Sleep. I was really tired.

Would you prefer a one floor house or multiple levels?

One floor level house. I have arthritis and it is getting more difficult for me to go up and down stairs.

Have you done something you truly want to do today?

Well, Let’s see. I’d like to win Lotto or Mega Millions but I don’t bet!! LOL!! Basically I just do chores on my day off and Monday is my day off. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Adulting 101.  You don’t do the things you want to do but the things you have to do at least until you retire. Ask me again in about 2 or 3 years when I will be retired and hopefully I will have a different answer.

What plans did you have as a teenager that didn’t happen? Are you happy it didn’t work out that way?

I suppose like most Women born in the 1950s/60s I thought I would eventually settle down and get married. Then after that phase passed I dreamed of being an artist. I really Loved drawing and sketching. My latter career dream was to be a writer.

Yes. I’m glad I never married. I have a difficult headstrong stubborn personality and am not easy to get along with. My one foray into common-law marriage was a disaster. He was abusive and I was losing myself in him. Everything was his way of the highway, verbal, emotionally and psychological abuse. If it had been a legal marriage I might have been trapped in hell still. But I survived. Made something out of my Life without a man!! Power!! Got through and beyond the abuse. Life goes on.

As for being an artist well I work as a museum guard. That’s as close as I’m gonna get to that!  I am a writer and one day God willing I will be a published author however I’m not holding my breath and it does not worry me. As I’ve gotten older I now realize that Life does not always work out the way we want it to. Roll with the punches.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Grateful that I made it through a harrowing work week. Looking forward to an extended Halloween weekend.  I have this upcoming Saturday off. That means I’ll be off Saturday, Sunday & Monday!!  Party time and best of all Stephen time!!  I will be posting Costumes next week!!


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Vitamins for Health


Taking more control of my physical health. In order to get better and be better I’ve got to do better. Complaining does not help. Whining is useless. Action is needed. Thus I’m going on a Vitamin regime. I think that some of my tiredness and exhaustion may come from not getting enough vitamins.  I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired!!  Tired of cancelling fun times, parties and events with friends because of being exhausted!!  I’m only in my 50s and I don’t want to feel like I’m in my 70s or 80s!!

I’m been shoring up my finances with as much overtime as humanly possible and I’m going to treat myself to a type of Vitamin Spa. One of the many great things about New York City is that everything is available to keep you healthy and strong. All types of options. Some are not covered by insurance. Some are a bit expensive but with careful saving one can make use of the many holistic options New York City offers.

I will consult my medical doctor in terms of Vitamin B injections and what other holistic means I can employ to be healthier. Props to all my Doctors at Roosevelt Hospital!
I think an extra dose of B Vitamins, my Ensure drinks, and Moringa Bitters I expect to see some changes by the end of October start of November.  Moringa Bitters are sold in many Caribbean and African owned stores in New York. Yes it does taste bitter but so did the Cod Liver Oil my Dad used to make us take when we were kids!!  LOL!!
Investing in myself for a Better Me!!



Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter


An extremely moving talk about Rosemary Kennedy.  Please see the entire video at the bottom of this post. For whatever we think of the Kennedy’s especially Joe Kennedy I found myself listening to this talk from the perspective of parents with an intellectually/developmentally disabled child. Despite all their resources and riches the techniques, programs, services and medical care that is available today was not there in the 1920s/1930s.

In some parts of the film relate to the mother Rose Kennedy via my mother Mable Palmer. I can clearly imagine the frustration of placing your child in school after school waiting for the miracle result that never manifests even with all your wealth, power and influence.  Like the Kennedy’s our parents always impressed upon me that we must stick together. “Blood is thicker than water.”  As you know from previous posts I am very protective of my brother Stephen.   I also know and remember the stigma, shame and guilt my mother Mable Palmer went through in the 1960s/70s so it must have been even worse in the 1920s/30s.

Initially Stephen screamed. All. The. Time.  I don’t know how my mother managed. Dad went to work every day so he got a break.  After a time Stephen stopped screaming and eventually did speak but to this day he cannot carry on a conversation though he will listen to the other people around him and respond if questioned.

However my parents drew the line at any type of medical experimentation. Plus being working class obviously our parents especially our Mom were much more hands on. Daddy did take us out on the weekends so Mommy could get a break. They refused to institutionalize Stephen.

However having said that I cannot pass judgments on Joe and Rose Kennedy having Rosemary lobotomized. At that time a lobotomy was considered a cure for various types of mental illness.  I would guess they were at their wits end given Rosemary’s behavior. Sadly Rosemary Kennedy came out of the surgery totally disabled. She was the sacrificial lamb. Not a Happy Ending.  At that point in the documentary I wanted to cry.

I’m very glad that my parents did not put Stephen away into an institution. I’m grateful that Stephen and I grew up together. I remember back in 1989 when Stephen was placed into his current Group Home. Even though I was the one who worked to get him placed into a facility because my parents were becoming ill and could no longer care for Stephen, I cried the first night I came home from work and Stephen was not there running down the stairs to greet me.

Thanks to Eunice Kennedy Stephen did participate for many years in the local Special Olympics held at St. John’s University in Queens, New York.

Thank you to all the Kennedys’ who after witnessing this horrible event happen to their beloved sister worked to make things better for intellectually/developmentally disabled people today. No matter what side of the political fence you’re on without the hard work and tenacity of the Kennedy siblings we would still be in the Dark Ages of institutionalized warehousing.

See Willowbrook State School:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willowbrook_State_School

Thank you Rosemary Kennedy for being a transformation for good! God Bless you for now you reside in your Heavenly home well, happy, healthy and free!!

Thank you Lord God Jehovah for my brother Stephen Vincent Palmer. For all the progress he made in spite of the negative reports from those doctors back in 1963 when he was two years old.  God knew better because Stephen is one of His special children. Thanks to our parents who believed that Stephen could learn, who treated him just like any other child, gave him chores to do up to and including his abilities and disciplined him teaching him right from wrong so that today Stephen is a contributing member of society.  He is more than my sibling. He is my companion. My friend. My life long partner and I would never trade or ask the Heavens for a so-called “normal” sibling when I have the most perfect brother in the world!!

I Love You Stephen Vincent Palmer!!

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Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter

Share Your World – 2016 Week 42


Share Your World – 2016 Week 42

Share Your World – 2016 Week 42

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If you wanted to de-clutter where you live, what room / space would you start with?  (And why, if you’re feel like admitting to it.)

Well I Live in one room. I have my bedroom. My room-mate has his bedroom and the rest of the house is a common area. All the furniture you’ve seen in previous blog posts belongs to him not me. All my furniture is in storage. One day if I ever get back on my feet I hope to get a small studio apartment.

Basically when things get too cluttered in my room I throw stuff out into the garbage.

If you want to remember something important, how do you do it (sticky note on the fridge, string around your finger, etc.), and does it work?

I use my Cell Phone to input notes, add reminders, Calendar etc…  Sometimes it still does not work. Forgetting names, dates, times, appointments is all a part of getting older. Sometimes I go downstairs to the kitchen and forget what I went down there for, then when I go back upstairs to my bedroom I remember what I wanted in the kitchen! Sigh…

If you could create a one room retreat just for yourself, what would be the most important sense to emphasize:  sight (bright natural light, dim light, etc.), hearing (silence, music, fountain, etc.), smell (candles, incense, etc), touch (wood, stone, soft fabrics, etc.), or taste (herbal tea, fresh fruit, etc.)?

Well as Lil Abner used to say If I had my ‘Druthers’ and lived in my own house with numerous rooms I could decorate to my hearts desire here is my Wish List.

Natural Light but with plenty of overhead lights. As I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts my vision is 20/100 so to avoid crashing into furniture and tripping over things every room would have an Overhead Light and lots of lamps. Everything is a big blur in my left eye so I really need well-lit rooms!!

Sound ~~ Sometimes total silence which would be a big change from the inner-city where alarms, sirens, buses, cars, honking horns, barking dogs and people arguing occur 24/7/365!!  Maybe some of that mood music, something like Classical music which puts me to sleep.

Smells ~ Yes!! Incense and light fragrance. Scented candles.

Touch ~~ I’m a tactile person. Natural materials like wood and stone. Also soft fabrics and leather.

Taste ~~ I’m all for the Herbal Teas and Fresh fruit. Also freshly baked wheat or whole grain bread.  I Love to eat! Food is my friend but some foods like dairy products are no longer friendly towards me thus off limits. However on that note I need to improve my diet with more fruits and veggies so bring on the Cornucopia!!

If you could interview one of your great-great-great grandparents, who would it be (if you know their name) and what would you ask?

My Great, Great Grandfather William Henry Halstead.  Now if it were possible and the eternity’s veil could be drawn back for 5 hours I’d Love to sit down and break bread with his mother, my Great, Great, Great Grandmother whose name is known only to God.

In December of 1863 my Great Great Grandfather, William Henry Halstead, who lived in Tarrytown, New York, traveled to New Haven, Connecticut to join the 29th Connecticut Colored Infantry. On his Volunteer Enlistment papers it notes his occupation as a farmer. He enlisted for three years and was discharged on the 24th day of October 1865. He married and had five children. William Henry Halstead passed away in 1888 and was buried in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery in Tarrytown, New York. His wife moved to New York City with her five children. Her children grew up in Harlem and belonged to various organizations such as Odd Fellows, Ladies of the Grand Army of the Republic and the Daughters of New York.


Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Well I’m glad that I was able to book my upcoming days off for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Stephen Time!

I’m grateful for the lovely chat I had while posted in the Asian Wing of the Museum with a retired Chinese Lady Professor who schooled me in Chinese history shared some of her story of coming to America at age 19. She has been in the USA for 66 years!! She speaks like eight Chinese dialects!! I just drank in and absorbed her knowledge and wisdom.

Her husband was from Soochow, China. Wow!!  If I remember correctly she taught at Boston University. Her daughter had driven her from Boston where she resides to New York. Glad I met her and her daughter. I’m always interested in hearing the stories of immigrant women and Women of Color as to how they overcame struggles in America to have successful Lives.

Looking forward to overcoming my struggles and having a fulfilling Life!





If I could just touch the hem of his garment

What Rev. Pastor Lionel Sneed says is true. His words give me hope for tomorrow.

In my experience when sickness, illness and liabilities come that’s when you find out who your true friends are. Sadly as time has passed and I’ve had to drop out of certain activities and organizations those folks who said they were my friends and claimed the Liked if not Loved me have stop being my friends. To them I’m a failure. However I’m the same person inside that I was when I was 18 years old. I have the same hopes, dreams, goals and desires its just that now my body has weakened and in some cases no longer obeys my commands. Sometimes I wonder what these same people would say to Evangelist and Christian Speaker Joni Earaekson Tada who has been a quadriplegic since a diving accident when she was a teenager.


Matthew 9:20-22  And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment: For she said within herself, If I may but touch h…

Source: If I could just touch the hem of his garment

Lack of Trust




For me in terms of my personal experience Trust must be earned not given. I suppose because I’ve been in abusive situations my ability to trust humans has eroded over time. I no longer have faith in people like I once did and mostly keep to myself. The amount of lies and falsehoods folks tell is amazing. That’s why I don’t usually get involved with groups, causes or anything where I’d have to rely on other people or get involved in situations where I’d have to ask for help.

Nor do I like or enjoy going to any type of doctors. The only reason I’m engaging the medical profession now is because I’m in extreme unrelenting physical pain. Unfortunately in order to continue functioning in close to a normal manner I must allow these quacks to ponder, poke and prod me, fill me with pills and do who knows what else.

My Life experiences have made me a Loner, A Solitary, a type of hermit where if I did not go to work I’d have little or no interaction with human beings at all.  Most people are fakes and phonies only out for their own good with an agenda. Makes me quite happy to be in a relationship with me, myself and I.

As I know this controversial post will elicit judgmental negative comments and based on my past experience with spammers, flammers, hackers and stalkers and for my own health and safety I will Close Comments.