He looked like an Angel albeit a broken Angel splayed out on the cold marble floor. His head at angles with his twisted body along with his staring unseeing eyes extinguished any hope that the embers of life still burned within him. The earth came up to meet him and swallowed him into the heavens. The Benjamins make a poor parachute.
Baby Boy Got $200 sneakers as a reward for cussing the teachers and failing in school. Teacher or principals fault. Grades all F but it ain’t me you fucked up can’t you see! School’s for Fools. Some place I don’t want to be.
Baby Boy he never wrong. They got it all mixed up seeing me strong. Y’all know I’m the King of my crew. God’s Gift to everything.
But in the back of your head all you can see is yo’ no count Daddy, welfare system and crackhead Momma staring back in the mirror saying you gonna be like me.
Hanging out in the upper class nabe with my hoodrat crew. See a few things I wanna take. Wait a minute! What’s that I hear! A siren in back of me. Starting to fear. Next thing I’m on Lock down in Juvie Hall. Where my crew at now when as I’m taking this fall.
Baby boy lying in a ditch. Worse off than being a Snitch. Off to Rikers’ to be somebody’s Bitch. Baby Boy. You Done. You Done.
His rhymes had got him to the big time. Opened new doors of upper class vice and sin. The immoralities of the 1%. I gazed at my son from the balcony of one of the greatest art institutions in the city seeing not the young man who had entered the 27 Club of the Immortals but every little boy running up and down Linden Blvd., Jamaica Avenue, Fulton Street or Sedgwick Avenue running to be the next 50 cent or Jay-Z finding fame and winding up on 27 Jump Street misjudging the doubles lives one foot in the hood and the other on Central Park West or the Upper East Side seeking Hipster fame and validation.
Jump my Son/Sun. Jump out of your dreams and into Eternity.
Completed the Veteran’s Administration Online form to apply for health care. Hopefully they should get back to me in about two weeks. Once the VA gets back to me then I’ll set up an appointment not just for medical care but to avail myself of any other services and programs they VA has for Women Veterans. I served my country now it is time for my country to lend me a helping hand.
In the Meantime I’m……..
Dreaming Down a Well
I’m Dreaming Down a Well. Looking into the Abyss wondering how to fetch my dreams and save them from imminent disaster. I can see them. Arms stretched out waiting for me to throw Life Preservers. Life Jackets. A Net. Anything they can grab onto for salvation from a watery grave.
A Bucket. Damaged. A Rope. Now Long Since Frayed. Worn from constant use.
Send in the Buffalo Soldiers! Call forth the Avenging Angels of Mercy!
No Regrets? Yes I regret. A Youth Long Gone. Relegated to Ancient Myst’s.
Double V for Victory. Victory at Overseas. Victory at Home.
Star-seed buried in the sand awaits fertile ground. Resurrection. Regeneration. New Birth.
Nailiah nuzzled the earth like a hungry lamb or goat bleating out hunger cries in search for a Merciful Mother. Searching out the Allegorical Lessons of the Cave.
I bid the powers of the Luxurious Fox for release and redemption. Banished from Exile.
Out of Sync.
Scraping my scabby putrefying boils with pottery shards. Rocking the earth with wailing prayers. When I shed my old skin will that be my freedom?
With your answers, please remember we are in the SYW world which may not always match our reality.
Are you a hugger or a non-hugger?
Non-Hugger!! I don’t like to be touched!! Particularly when I it comes to men. Guys are way too touchy feely. Ugh! Creepy! This 5th Grader has made some rules that both genders can use. (See Link Below) It’s also best for folks to keep their hands to themselves and keep your distance!
I Do Hug my brother Stephen and a few close friends. Very few.
Hmmm… I suppose anything gooey like marshmallows. Once a guy whom I was dating brought me some Turkish Delight from Istanbul, Turkey however it was way too sweet for me and I had to give it away. Also given the fact that I’m Pre-Diabetic I should not be eating any type of candy!
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “fun”?
Spending time with my brother Stephen.
List of Favorite Smells: What smells do you love? Whether it’s vanilla scented candles or the smell of coffee in the morning or the smell of a fresh spring rain…make a list of all the things you love for a little aromatherapy.
Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
That I made it through my work week which is an accomplishment within itself. Spent time with Stephen last weekend and the Happiness & Joy of me being on vacation this week. Sunday I look forward to taking my girlfriend out for her 60th Birthday!! Now that will be lots of fun!!
Stephen and I have been Stylin’ since we were babies. I grew up as a Girly Girl. A real Clotheshorse especially when I was younger. I had more shoes in my closet than Imelda Marcos and after I moved into my own apartment the clothes bar in my closet broke under the weight of all my outfits! LOL!! My Dad used to joke that I had to get dressed just to put out the garbage. I think that I took after my Aunt Thelma who had those same attributes and passed them along to me!! LOL!!
I was never much on make-up (except lip stick otherwise I look like a blank slate), fake eyelashes or fake nails but since my job requires me to be on my feet for long hours bi-monthly pedicures are a must. I do get manicures but neat, short, clean with clear polish because I still must cook, clean the house and do dishes. Of course hair care is a must!! As you can see from my photos I’ve had every hair style know to Black People from the 60s up to and including the present. Now I color my hair. I loathe gray hair. I do not look good in gray hair and let’s not advance my age more than it is already. Getting older should not include looking like a frump or a bag lady. Yes, Vanity Thy Name is Woman!! LOL!!
My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer who was born in the small town of Davy, WV and raised in Dayton, Ohio also Loved to dress well. Her beauty and style are what captured the heart of my Dad Edward G. Palmer.
My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer.
Mable Elizabeth Palmer ~~ My Mom
My Paternal Aunts Thelma Palmer Varner and Helen Palmer Garcia.
Aunt Thelma, yours truly, Aunt Helen HS Graduation 1977
Got a good report from the ENT (Ear Doctor) today. Apparently the clicking and popping noises in my right ear are due to an Eustachian tube that does not open all the way. A simple prescription with Flonase will hopefully alleviate the problem. Actually the noises are more annoying than anything else. The ear is not painful.
Eternal Internal Chaos
Being Cut. Wounds produce scars. Sometimes Life rips the scabs off the scars before the wound has healed. Infection. Pus. Filthy. Gangrenous. Foul Smelling. The Book of Job Revisited. An open pestilence of the soul forms. While others judge never fully knowing internal battles. Turn and face your demons but remember they are armed also. She who fights and runs away may live to fight another day. The devil and his/her demons come in many forms awaiting your vulnerabilities. Your weaknesses so they can rip our your heart. Eviscerate your innards.
Rejoicing. Laughing. Watching your guts litter the battlefield which has become your graveyard. So you run. You hide and wait for Resurrection and Rebirth. You Lurk among squalid corners. Slink close to the walls like rats who relish the dark afraid to come out in the open but secretly ready. Planning your Vengeance. This time there will be No Negotiation. Oh Attacker! You programmed me well. I now know and embody all your devious devil devices. Your imprint is on my mind. Now I use your weapons against you!! Beware O’ Wicked One! The Victim has now become the Victor!!
Slammed down into the red brick earth. Enemy not knowing that you can sustenance and strength each time you hit the ground. Earth Mother receives your bloody wounded corpse. Sends animation Life Force through your firmly planted feet. There. A Baobab Tree. A Mighty Oak. A Banyan Tree. Close ranks around you. Gaia protects her children. Filling a Fallen Sister with Kinetic Force. Ready to do Battle. The Enemy lies defeated before he has yet begun. Yes. Even the Forest Must have it’s Revenge.
So now I’m back to my Royally, Bitchy, Crazy, Raunchy self. Mean and Gritty. Getting down in the City.
Earned my Advanced degrees in Chill Out and Chillaxin’ ~~ Not caring what people say or their reactions. If you don’t want to go along for the ride. Don’t get in the car.
Bitch Mode is now in effect……….. Back to Our irregularly scheduled programming!!
When I was a child the other school kids used to make fun of me calling me the “Black Twiggy.” As you can see from my childhood and young adult photos I was as thin as a rail. It was not until my 40s that I began to gain some much needed weight. Recently since my brother Stephen needed a food supplement I started back drinking Ensure. Tastes good and helps us not only maintain but to gain weight. Like Twiggy I too wanted to be a model but unlike her my dream of being a model did not come true except for mugging for the camera on this blog!!
Some of my photos Past & Present
Me and an Army Friend
Me and the Borg
2002 MMC Grad
2002 MMC Graduate
Me and Dad
Funny 1970 Montreal, Canada Family Vacation Story
Funny story regarding the 1970 Summer Montreal Trip with my Dad, Aunt Helen and brother Stephen. We went visit a home designed for dwarfs. Now in those days they were called midgets but the correct term in dwarf. The Lady Dwarf in the photo was born to Dwarf Parents. Her parents had constructed a house where everything was scaled down to their size. For me I was about 11 at the time it was like being a in Doll house. Of course being curious I wanted to know why she was so small. I had never seen a dwarf up until that time and I could not understand why an adult would be so little!! My Dad sensed that I was about to ask an inappropriate question so he silenced me with a Look!! Back then you did not ask about why certain people looked different or what made them that way. It was considered bad manners.
Now A Days is different. One day years ago a dwarf lady was looking at one of the paintings in my gallery. There was a little girl about 3 or 4 years of age who spotted her and like me back then was surprised to see such a small adult. Believe me kids automatically know that dwarfs are not children. Any way kids being kids she hopped right over to stare at the dwarf lady who had her back to the child. The dwarf woman feeling eyes on her turned around and smiled. No words were exchanged. The little girl went back to her stroller and the dwarf woman went back to enjoying the paintings. I suppose the Dwarf Lady was used to kids staring at her and that’s why she smiled.
Being taught good manners and to keep my mouth shut has helped me in my current job as a museum security guard. I see all types of people with disabilities and even though I want to know what happened I do not ask. Actually we are not allowed to say anything evenly remotely rude or inappropriate. For example Monday a young woman with no arms or legs was in my gallery. Naturally seeing someone with such an extreme disability can catch you off guard but I treat them as I treat any other visitor with a smile and assistance if needed.
"The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." -Carl Sagan