The Struggle Continues………..


Went for a Follow-up visit to my G.P. My doctor found my pulse and blood pressure to be normal. Gained some much needed weight. Received my Flu Shot. Made appointments with the ENT specialist and gastro specialist. Will see the ENT today to find out the cause of the clicking and popping noises in my right ear. As for the gastro he is booked until November. So must wait until then. All in all a good doctor visit. Doctor also says much of my joint pain will subside once I retire. Prolonged standing, in my case 8 to 12 hours a day is not good for anyone.

One thing I wanted to add especially for my new Followers/Subscribers is that I had a mini-stroke while at my job Nov. 2008. I was lucky in the sense that I had the stroke at work because I live alone and if I had the stroke at home I would have been dead. Unlucky in that job-related stress can either disable or kill you. Since 2008 I have had Retina Surgery and been rushed to the hospital several times for various ailments.  So far 2016 has been a good year for me just because no hospital visits or stays. However I must admit to myself I am getting older and with age come health issues.

Group Home Update

I spoke with the director of my brother Stephen’s Residence yesterday. He will conduct an inventory of his clothing and email it to me. For those of you who wonder why I don’t go there in person the reason being that I can no longer drive. That stroke I previously mentioned took much of the vision in my left eye. Stephen’s residence is not accessible either by subway or bus. The nearest bus stop is probably a mile away from the Group Home. I do not have anyone to drive me nor do I have the money or funds to hire a taxi to take me there.

Call Out

I notice from my last post about my troubles with the staff at Stephen’s group home that most of the comments were about what I should be doing. Who I should be calling, etc… Now if I could or had the power to do any of these things I would be doing them. I suppose those of you who commented meant well but put yourself in my place. I’m Alone. I have NO Support System. ALL my immediate family are DEAD!!  There are no programs/services available to full-time working Siblings that could help me.

For those of you who commented Put yourself in my place. Imagine ALL your family were deceased and I mean ALL. On top of that imagine working a low-paying job where you are barely making ends meet and your employer frowned on family leave. It is very difficult or nearly impossible for me to get time off for either Stephen or myself.  As much as I Love my brother there are things that I cannot do anymore. I need someone right here, right now, physically available who can help me. See below NY Times Article.

The New York Times did an article on my brother Stephen and me. Please take time to read this eye opening article of our lives. Thank you.


Between 2008 and early 2014 I actually had to go to the local Food Pantries in my neighborhood in order to eat. I’ve had to apply for government assistance even though I work hours and hours of overtime just trying to meet my needs.  In 2014 my finances got a little better for a very short period of time. I was able to eat better and actually buy some winter clothes that kept me warm. New York City has brutal winters.  Finally this year I declared Bankruptcy. Yes my finances are that bad.

As for my join pain, gastro problems and arthritis I won’t go into the lurid, nasty disgusting details but I don’t have any more sick leave because I’m always sick. There are days when I can’t get out of bed or function. There is nobody for me to call on for help. All my vacations are Staycations because I can’t afford to go anywhere and the money I do have is spent on doctors and searching for ways to alleviate chronic pain. Plus I’m tired No Not Just tired but physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Those of you who talk about my capabilities/abilities or whatever trust me I have none otherwise none of these bad things would be happening.

Of course many times when I really feel burdened I wish I had somebody to talk to but in reality that person does not exist. If they do exist please provide me with the money to get there.

My Life was not always this way. When I was younger I did not have these health problems.  For my Blog Newcomers I served my country in the military, the United States Army from Nov. 1977 – Nov. 1981, Please Don’t Thank me. I cannot eat or pay my rent with Thanks. Instead encourage Uncle Sam to be a better Uncle and provide more and better services to Women Veterans. I went to college and graduated with honors.

My downfall came partly from the economic crash the United States experienced from the time I got laid off from my good job Dec. 2006 right before Christmas and the rest from the steady decline of my health even though I never smoked, never did drugs, rarely drank and always did some moderate exercise.

It’s always easy to say what a person under extreme stress should or should not be doing but Keep in Mind You Know Neither their Story or Their Song.

Sometimes bad luck is irreversible.  Sadly in my case all the balls I’ve been trying to juggle have fallen on the floor and I can’t reach them.  All I can do is stand in wonder looking at them lying there and continue to wonder how I got to this point in Life.







15 thoughts on “The Struggle Continues………..

  1. A sad post my friend, more so you being an ex service member, it’s sad to read about the neglect that America has for their ex service personnel, by that I mean the Governments in power. It really must be demoralizing for any service personnel to be serving under your President.
    You are a Soldier, and will always wear that badge of Honor.

      1. Yes I can see that from your posts. Health issues are no walk in the park and everybody deals with it in different ways. Let’s both work towards a return to Good Health & Wellness for the sake of our families and those who love us. God Bless.

    1. Many Thanks!! 🙂 No offense taken. Went to two doctors this past week. Will see the Gastro doctor in November. Today I went to the Veteran Administration’s Online website and filled out the form there. Hopefully they will call me sometime next week so I can set up an appointment for the VA Hospital and see what other services they offer. I’ve got a long hard rough road ahead of me but hopefully eventually my Life will improve. I really do appreciate your concern. I guess I’m just frustrated not being better able to be a better caregiver to my brother or to even address my own needs. Let’s see what my adventures with the VA will be like. ❤

      1. Understandable – frustration can make a saint swear, LOL

        VA adventures can be a pain in the butt – I hope that they are able to address your needs and concerns quickly! If they would upgrade and update their computer system, that would be a start…maybe…

      2. True. I look at it this way. I proudly served my country and now it’s time for them to serve me. So many times Women Veterans are forgotten but we were there both in wartime and peacetime. Now I need my government to lend me a helping hand. If not totally in medical services but also in terms of what other programs are out there that address the needs of Women Veterans.

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