Sticks and Stones ~ Verbal and Emotional Abuse

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

The O’Jays – Back Stabbers

Krazy Kat & Ignatz
Krazy Kat and Ignatz

So goes the old Nursery Rhyme. But those of us who have survived domestic violence and school or workplace bullying know better. Doesn’t matter whether you’re 4, 14, 24, 34, 44, or 54 words do hurt. They do damage. Evil speaking can destroy careers, relationships and lives. Gossip, lies, slander, libel, and innuendo can cause scandals that cannot be lived down by the innocent victim. Battling scandalous stories sends victims on a quest to either prove their innocence or force them out of relationships or jobs because trust has been broken. In the extreme bullying is a major cause of suicide. No matter how hard the victim has worked, how faithful or how loyal he/she has been family, friends, colleagues and co-workers all view them in the light of these newly found “facts”. Those at the receiving end have to deal with the shame of false accusations.

Smiling Faces – The Undisputed Truth

Church is not a sanctuary or refuge from gossip and lies though it should be. How many of the faithful have been shunned or ostracized because of untrue rumors going around against them started by jealousy and envy. Constant jockeying for so-called high level church positions, i.e. those they get you closer to the Pastor have split congregations and created nasty battles that cause the faithful to leave and never return. Trust me when I say the Seven Deadly Sins are alive and well on Sunday mornings and in Bible Studies and Prayer Meetings. Maybe they should be called Prey Meetings.

In the case of domestic violence the abuser telling their spouse or partner over and over again how useless, ugly, stupid, dumb, fat or skinny they are becomes a belief system then a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Lust, anger, jealousy, envy, greed are the many roots of conflict among humans. Innocents are degraded and penalized never really understanding their crime. Victims are disgraced, dishonored and humiliated. Basically you’ve been judged, convicted and sentenced without even the opportunity to state your case or refute false information. Victims are consigned to a living nightmare a personal hell from which one is always trying to escape. You’re entire life becomes one of chaos and havoc. The health toll is enormous. Fear, nerves, anxiety, insomnia, nightmares, headaches and panic attacks rule the day. Every avenue of escape is blocked. How many lives have been ruined because words once spoken cannot be taken back? No, words are not innocent. They can be used as brickbats, swords, spears and knives. Words are deadly weapons imbued with the power of life and death.

We become the fallen Angels caught between Heaven and hell in a purgatory ruled by satanic beings obsessed with the destruction of mind, body and soul.  Lost souls wandering a hellish limbo of victimization. Victims and survivors forever search for the lifeline and lighthouse of rescue.

Battle of the Bulge~Relationships Grown Folks Style

My Avatar ~ Cat Woman
My Avatar ~ Cat Woman

Mature Grown Folks Relationship Observations for those 45+  

I’ve had the opportunity to explore every wing of my museum. I especially look for depictions of women in various societies and time periods. There is nothing more beautiful than the female nude. In every culture, Africa, Greek & Roman, European: 13-18 centuries and in 19th Century Art nearly every beautiful woman painted or sculpted has a small belly, a roundness in the tummy area.

Rubenesque as defined by the Urban Dictionary: Applied to a woman who has similar proportions to those in paintings by the Flemish painter Peter Paul Ruben; attractively plump; a woman who is alluring or pretty but without the waif-like body or athletic build presently common in media.

Every magazine, every newspaper, TV, the movies and of course the Internet screams at women to have that perfect body at any age. No you must have that movie star body so all the men will fall at your feet, regardless of the fact that most TV and Film stars have more failed relationships than anyone else.Before the exercise craze of the 20th Century it was okay for a woman to have a slight belly bulge. In fact not only were curves a sign of beauty but a sign you were getting enough to eat! Now the competition is on about who can have the flattest stomach or that infamous 6-pack. When I was growing up in the 60s a six-pack was a beer. Sure if you drank too many of them you took the risk of looking like you were about to give birth to a Budweiser but most folks drank on weekends. However I digress.

So much for exercise helping the “Beautiful People” stay married! This fixation with bodily perfection also has fat, balding middle-aged men, who probably need Viagra to get the job done searching desperately for Victoria’s Secret models. Like most women my weight fluctuates. Now I’ll never be very big because my mother was a small woman, (Jada Pinkett in size not looks) but yes I do have that middle-age gut. Why? I don’t really know. Maybe having an expanding middle was or is an outcome of menopause. At first it really bothered me. I’m no exercise freak but I do my walking and sometimes I’ll do sit-ups but truthfully I hate sit-ups! I can honestly say I look pretty good for my age. I’m well preserved but I’m not a card-carrying member of the fitness craze.  Went through all that while I was in the Army and since I no longer have a Drill Sgt breathing down my neck I no longer fear those 6 am 6 mile runs in full gear.

To paraphrase the Holy Bible, the grass withers and the flower fades but a Woman of God endures forever. Now I can cook and clean with the best of them but I’m never going to look the way I did in my 20s, 30s or 40s. So guys if you’re looking for a Proverbs 31:10-31 Woman I’m here. If you’re looking for Bay Watch babes, well keep looking and let me know how that works out for you. Peace.

Oh yeah….Jelly Belly I Love you!