Ganja Granny
Senior citizens are not who you think they should be.
One Wednesday while when I still lived at Rochdale Village, Jamaica, Queens, I was doing my laundry with several of my neighbors when one of the dizzier elders came in with her laundry. This woman is totally discombobulated. She couldn’t remember which washers she left her clothes in then she couldn’t decided which dryers in which to place her clothes. During the course of this drama she lost her laundry card. We no longer use coins but cards similar to credit cards. She accused two young men who had just come in the laundry room of stealing the card while they were on the other side busily stuffing their clothes into two of the large machines totally oblivious to her. Of course she made no sense. Meanwhile she’s erratic helter-skelter looking for this damn card. The freaking card was on the floor.
Oh yes sometime during this travesty she joined into the conversation that I was having with my two neighbors to discuss the benefits of smoking marijuana. She proceeded to tell us how it opens up the arteries in the back of your retina. My neighbors and I gave each other knowing looks as we silently agreed that she had smoked way too much mary jane and in my head I speculated that maybe back in the 1960s she went on an LSD trip and never came back.
Most pot smokers are not that disoriented so I think that sister cut her weed with something else, however the munchies part worked very well as she appears to weigh about 300lbs!! I think she took those Cheech & Chong movies to heart!!
Now you know how those old folks in their 60s and 70s really pass all that free retirement time. Next time you get that contact high as you pass through the hallway in your building it’s the seniors not junior you need to be worried about.
“Pass the dutchie on the left hand side.”
Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail – 2. “Self Medication”
Outrageous is the word for many of the older people in my apartment complex. There’s the lady who has regular chats with President Bush. Whether it’s Bush 1 or 2 I don’t know. She also claims to have dealings with the FBI & the CIA. Several years ago there was the older gentleman who came down to the laundry room dressed in women’s clothing playing C&W music on his boom box. He was an alcoholic who crashed so many cars the development took away his parking space and finally he went off the deep end and his daughter came and got him. He has since passed away. Then there’s the elderly man dressed in the cowboy outfit with one pants leg rolled up talking about WWII, Obama and various other topics.
Also there are the old “hot in the pants” geezers who constantly trying catch women my age or younger. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been approached by these Geritol junkies. Why an old man 75 or 80 is still thinking about getting laid when he can’t even get it up without Viagra is beyond me. Anyway I don’t want to see much less sleep with a man old enough to be my father!
Dear God please do not let me be nuts if I live to be in my 70s & 80s.
Here is a musical salute to all my 65+ neighbors!
Peter, Paul & Mary
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wik2uc69WbU
Grace Slick & Jefferson Airplane
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0
DeBorah Ann
Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit 
Hilariously annoying behaviour.
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Laugh. One person took my post entirely too seriously and said I was cruel. No. People’s behavior rarely changes as they get older. Mostly it gets worse. If you were using drugs or a pervert in your teens, 20s & 30s chances are that won’t change just because you go past 60. In speaking with my GYN HIV/AIDS in women over 50 is growing faster than any other demographic because men over 50 have multiple sex partners. All men. Married and single. They sleep with younger women and pass on the virus to their wives and girlfriends.
Age has a way of revealing who we really are. It has a way of removing all pretense. I’m in a dead-on stare-down with 60 and I’m hoping that in the years I have left, I’m revealed as a joyful old woman and not a loon, or a bitter old woman. Thankfully, I left pot back in the seventies. I’m here to state that it is not a magical plant. jacquelineobyikocha directed me here for a laugh but I think you’ve also, scared me a bit.:0)
So am I. I will turn 60 in three years. However people of all ages have strange behavior.
My husband calls it ‘stupid human tricks’.;-}
Ha! Ha! LOL!! As my parents’ would say, There’s no fool like an old fool!
Thanks everyone for your comments. One person did take it the wrong way. First I no longer live at that complex. Two I’m almost 60 myself. Three This was meant as a joke not an insult to seniors.
You remind me of my mother who feels growing old is a license to speak to whomever in what way she pleases… Especially if they are doing something wrong. When we tell her not bother, she ends up saying “I’m an old woman.” Haha!
Thanks for sharing this piece.
I have No Shame in my Game!! LOL!! One of my parents’ favorite expressions was, There’s no fool like an old fool!
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