Think before you speak


 

https://faithtoraisenate.com/12-things-not-to-say-to-a-parent-of-a-child-with-special-needs-part-1/

https://faithtoraisenate.com/12-things-not-say-parent-child-special-needs-part-2

Ms. Charlene Bullard writes a blog called Faith to Raise Nate. We have been discussing inappropriate comments made by people in regards to our family members with special needs. Charlene’s son Nate is deaf/blind with Autism and of course most of you have met my brother Stephen. The catalyst for her posts was my comment to her about people asking me if my brother Stephen is like the character in the Rain Man movie.  Please go to the above links for more information. The objective of Charlene’s posts is to educate people to not make assumptions about folks with special needs.

Disabled does not mean that person is living a half-life or needs or wants your pity. 

 

Below is my comment to Charlene regarding Part Two of the Topic with some edits I made for this post.

This post is on point!! Excellent words of wisdom. As I read your advice I thought of Helen Keller who was deaf/blind and went on to live an extraordinary life.

In my experience I can understand when children ask questions because they are truly curious and want to understand. As for adults they are just plain rude and choose to be that way.

I recall an incident years ago in the museum galleries when a dwarf lady was viewing a painting and a little girl saw her. The little girl knew that the dwarf woman was not a child but obviously she was puzzled as to why and how an adult could be that short. So naturally she went over to the dwarf lady and just stared at her. You know when eyes are on you. So the dwarf woman turned around and at that point the little girl ran off. The Dwarf woman just smiled. She probably goes through this every day.

Seeing that reminded me of when I was 11 and my Dad and Aunt took us on a family vacation on Montreal, Canada back in 1970. During our vacation we met a dwarf woman who was giving tours of her parents house. Her parents were both dwarfs and the house was built to scale meaning everything was lowered to their level. Having never seen or met a dwarf before I desperately wanted to ask her why she was so short however my Dad gave me that look. The look that silently said “You’d better not say anything to embarrass me or be rude. I held my tongue. Just like back in those days dwarfs were called midgets which is a derogatory term. Later on as an adult I learned that most dwarfs or Little People have a condition called Hypochondroplasia a form of short-limbed dwarfism.

On the tour I did learn that the dwarf lady was married to a normal sized man. As for their children I never found out that information but I was taught as a child not to make fun of people and not to ask rude questions that are none of your business in the first place.  After all growing up I did not like it when the other kids in the neighborhood made fun of my brother Stephen.

Several years ago the Little People of America had a convention in New York City. Museums were on their itinerary and I saw many Little People enjoying the artwork at my museum workplace.

 

http://www.lpaonline.org/

Below is a photo taken by my Dad after our tour. You can see me, Stephen, our Aunt Helen and our gracious host.

1970MontCanada

 

 

Pause Down Memory Lane


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/pause/

Pause

Snapshots are pauses in times. Happier times.  Better times. When I was younger, healthier and with less worries.  The present is composed mostly of tears, stress and wishes to return to better times. Maybe the fluctuation in emotions is due to that other Pause in Women’s Lives MenoPause or it is the frustrations and struggles of daily life.  The increase in responsibilities as you get older with the burden I’m carrying growing heavier with each year while my body grows weaker with age and disease.

Photos take you back down Memory Lane.

 

 

Memory Lane – Minnie Riperton

Silver Screen: What is that Sir? I can’t Make it out!


 

 

 

Silver Screen

Take a quote from your favorite movie — there’s the title of your post. Now, write!

 

My Dad’s All Time Favorite movie: Run Silent. Run Deep.

What is that Sir? I can’t Make it out!

Run Silent Run Deep Poster

Run Silent Run Deep (1958)

Unending Grief of the vacant space left by my Dad’s death in May 1995

That’s my heart breaking.

That’s my soul aching.

That’s another soul flitting across the universe awaiting a new storage container for the old one is broken.

A soul crying in the dark for another dying friend and all those who passed before.

A good life wrapped up in beautifully ribbon colored crepe paper.

What is that Sir? I can’t make it out?

One wearing dark glasses obscuring their orbs.   An enigma of its demons. What sins were they running from perhaps we shall never know.

A Wayward Wanderer

The Prodigal Daughter returns.

Why young one, That’s strength, courage, tenacity and the ability to speak Truth to Power.

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One Word Photo Challenge: Film

One Word Photo Challenge: Film

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Part III: People, Places & Things

If you want to share a literal image of the actual word, do that. But if you’d rather play with word association, post something that reminds you of the specific word, or something you use the word for, do so. It only has to make sense to you. Have fun and keep on photographing!

owpc 2017

This week’s word is Film! Don’t forget to check out Color your World as well, posting daily January – April.

 

Daughters of the Dust Full Movie

Written, Directed and Produced by Julie Dash

At the dawn of the 20th century, a family in the Gullah community of coastal South Carolina — former West African slaves who adopted many of their ancestors’ Yoruba traditions — suffers a generational split. Young Haagar (Kaycee Moore) wants to move to the mainland away from tradition-bound matria… More
Release date: December 27, 1991 (USA)

 

Sorry for the poor quality for better results either rent or buy the movie from an Online source. Perhaps try Netflix or Hulu. You will probably be able to order the film via Amazon.com.

 

My Battle Scars are Talking


Sleep No More 4ever

Raw and Uncut

As some of you may already know I work a brutal work schedule. I work as a nighttime museum security guard therefore I’m awake when most people are asleep. Plus one cannot live on the base salary therefore I must pull double shifts. For example I went to work Wednesday did a double shift came home, got a call that my brother Stephen who has Autism has an eye infection for which he is being treated, naturally I worry. Then off to work for Thursday, get home around 2:00 am which means I did not sleep for 48 hours straight. I crashed around 3 am last this morning and got up at 12 noon.

My work week started out well then by Wednesday I had a confrontation with the museum village idiot which escalated into me demanding that the union rep speak with him otherwise there will be an episode of Snapped inside the museum. This guy is known to disrespect women staff, he has been reprimanded countless times, and also been suspended numerous times yet he continues in his boneheaded behavior. Everyone else is nice, does their job, respects others, cooperates but he remains and reigns as the lone shithead for the late shift.

My current location which I will refer to as the Annex is much better than the Main Building where a few years ago a crazed male co-worker pinned me up against the wall in the galleries all the while threatening me as my co-workers watched as to whether or not he would choke the life out of me. I got him off me. Won’t say what I did but you can see it worked as I’m here writing this blog today.

A Little Background on Me

When I was a kid because I was so skinny I was always getting beat up. The other kids would constantly make fun of me. I’d cry at the drop of a hat. I was namby pamby, a wuss always apologizing and trying to get people to like me. Pretty much all the other kids punching bag.

At least once my Mom who was only 4′ 11′ weighing 95 lbs had to give an older boy who was stealing my lunch when I was walking to the school bus stop an upper cut. Being that my Mom was short he thought she was just another kid until his lights got punched out. Mom hit that boy so hard I’m sure he saw stars. When he said he was gonna get his Mama my mother said go get your mother and I’ll whup her ass too. Needless to say my Mom introduced him to the expression, “Don’t Sleep on the Size.”  My parents taught me to stand up for myself, don’t allow other people to take advantage of you and that I am not a door mat for other folks dirty shoes.

It took a long time for the lessons to sink in. When I was 19 I was raped. I never told anyone nor did I report the sexual assault as I felt it was my fault and in those days nobody knew or discussed date rape. Even after years of therapy, various pills and being hospitalized I refused to speak about what happened to me or the details as talking about it won’t make things go away nor can it change the past. All I will say is that the guy who raped me went on to become a preacher. I know because I met him 20 years later and he actually had the nerve and audacity to suggest that we get together while we were standing in God’s House?!! Go figure.

Before I left high school some kid pushed me down a flight of stairs however by that time I had already enlisted in the military. That four years in the US Army taught me how to defend myself not only in terms of training but like any other school or workplace there are nuts, kooks and morons in there also.

I remember I had a room-mate who was selling drugs out of our room. She was a real roughneck you know the kind, a grown up bully. She used to threaten me and I would wander around the post for hours afraid to return to my room. Finally I had to take action. I slept with a baseball bat beside my bed because if the bitch tried something in the nighttime I would beat her ass bloody. I also reported her and she was probably imprisoned at either Mannheim or sent to Ft. Leavenworth which are both military prisons.

Time passed and sadly both my beloved parents passed away. I was vulnerable and some of the women who worked in the same office felt I needed male companionship. I was lonely and allowed myself to be set-up. Set up for a fall. Little did I know that the man I committed my life to for seven years would signal my downfall physically, emotionally and psychologically.  As the song title says Love is a Battlefield but at that time I was the loser. I won’t go into the ugly details of the relationship but suffice to say that my Exe– was a Sociopath and a Narcissist.  When he finally dumped me Thanksgiving Day 2007 I was physically free but abuse affected my personality in so many ways. For a long time I suffered badly from anxiety and panic attacks. To this day I still have triggers and parts of me that will never be healed and believe me I’ve tried everything out there.

However I did make a vow to myself that I would never ever allow a man to talk to me like dirt, take advantage of me or use and abuse me in any way. Naturally the Universe heard me and after being unemployed for all of 2007 I got in job in museum security at a workplace that has a track record of abuse, sexual harassment, mistreatment of women for years. At the time I did not know this but believe me I found out quick, fast and in a hurry. Working as a museum security guard not only do you deal with the general public many of whom are abrasive, racist, sexist (since the visiting public is mostly white I’ve been called everything but a child or God including a Nigger Bitch) etc…. but male co-workers who think that they have a right to your body.

I stayed because truthfully once you celebrate that 50th birthday you become invisible to prospective employers. Believe me I tried to leave via sending out resumes, networking and going on job interviews but leaving was not in the Creators plan for my life. I read on the AARP website that the unemployment rate for Americans over 50 is extremely high. Also a fact of life being in your 50s is when most diseases like high blood, pressure and diabetes set in. Since mine is a union job I need those benefits. I won’t be at my workplace too long as next year I’m eligible for retirement.

I can’t totally explain it but something inside me rose up. Like the line from the movie Network, “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore.”  By the time I was 50 all the years of abuse, harassment and violence that I experienced brought out that other side that was lurking there all along. I hear a lot about forgiveness and renewing relationships, being nice, acting like a Lady, etc…  Oh you should not be angry. You need to forgive that person even when that person is toxic.  I don’t listen to any of those people. If you step to me I will defend myself even if that means you get hurt physically. You want forgiveness? Why? What for?

We see those people on TV all the time after they’ve ruined countless lives they suddenly have a “Come to Jesus” moment. Look buddy Jesus was not lost but you were and all the fake tears and cries for forgiveness mean nothing. God knows you at your core. Look at what happened to most of those shady phony Televangelists from the 1980s and 1990s. Where are they now? Either dead or defrocked. Some even went to prison for defrauding the flock.

And then there are the so-called Christians who believe they can positive think their way out of life or that everyone should subscribe to there twisted belief systems. I can see that on my comments and there will probably be some fool who will write me a diatribe or manifesto of how they conquered anger…Blah…Blah….Blah  The ones who pull Jesus and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. out of their hats as to why other people usually people of color, Women, the disabled, etc… should continue to endure abuse, humiliation, racism, bigotry and discrimination.

Blah….Blah…Blah… Bullshit

We must embrace our poor demented twisted sisters and brothers as they rape, pillage and destroy our village/town. Let’s Welcome our enemies as they deny us the right to live and prosper. Well while you are kissing the oppressors ring I’ll be there kicking their ass. I’ll be the Warrior. You can be the sucker. Your choice.

Rise up and Fight Back!!

There are some Women Warriors in the Bible. My namesake DeBorah, Judith Beheading Holofernes, as well as Women who throughout history stood up for their people and the right to exist and be Free from tyranny and oppression. 

Nzinga of Ndongo and Matamba

 

Queen Anna Nzinga, also known as Njinga Mbande or Ana de Sousa Nzinga Mbande, was a 17th-century queen of the Ndongo and Matamba Kingdoms of the Mbundu people in Angola. Wikipedia

 

 

Born: 1583, Angola

 

Died: December 17, 1663, Kingdom of Matamba

 

 

 

 

Yaa Asantewaa

 

Yaa Asantewaa was queen mother of Ejisu in the Ashanti Empire – now part of modern-day Ghana, appointed by her brother Nana Akwasi Afrane Okpese, the Ejisuhene, or ruler, of Ejisu.
  • Boudica

 

Boudica or Boudicca was a queen of the British Celtic Iceni tribe who led an uprising against the occupying forces of the Roman Empire in AD 60 or 61, and died shortly after its failure

 

You can’t go around being afraid of people. You can’t allow people to intimidate you. I do believe in God, the Bible and prayer but there are times when as a Woman you must defend yourself. Nobody is going to come to your rescue and many times they will desert you. Yes I admit to having a temper and using salty language but that’s all the assholes understand. I’m not trying to forgive them or understand their behavior. I’m trying to live my life peacefully but if you get in my face I will show you my Warrior side and you will regret messing with me.

Other peoples opinions about my language, behavior or personal stances mean nothing to me. Like my Dad used to say, “An opinion is like an asshole. Everybody’s got one.”

I don’t let people should on me. You tell me some fantasy life you have has no impact on how I go about my life.  Many have tried to guilt or shame me into changing and lost the battle. I will listen politely to what they say then go ahead and do what I was gonna do in the first place.

I ain’t got time for bullshit and nonsense. I’m at the age when I don’t give a damn.

 

My horns are holding up my halo and I remain forever unashamed.

Share Your World – March 27, 2017


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Share Your World – March 27, 2017

Share Your World – March 27, 2017

Does your first or middle name have any significance (or were you named after another family member)?

DeBorah is a Biblical name taken from the book of Judges chapters 4 & 5. DeBorah was a Judge over Israel prior to the appointment of kings.

DeBorah is a Hebrew name meaning Queen Bee.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges+4-5

I found this funny humorous definition at the Urban Dictionary. I agree with everything except the “men want me” part. So far no Prince Charming has come along for me in my 58 years of living!! LOL!!  🙂    😀  

Hebrew spelling. Also means The Bee and to speak eloquently Deborah’s are usually sophisticated, witty, intelligent with a great sense of humour. Other women are usually jealous of Deborah’s and men want her.
Woah… I met this fantastic woman in this classy art gallery on the weekend her name must be ‘Deborah’
As for my middle name Ann my Mom and her sisters all agreed that any girl children they had would all have the middle name Ann therefore all my female maternal cousins have Ann as their middle name.

Music or silence while working?

When I worked in an office I had a small radio in my cubicle. We were allowed to listen to our music as long as we kept it low. I enjoy music as it uplifts the spirit and makes the day go by faster. Now I work in a Museum which has a restaurant on the lower level so whatever they have on their computer playlist is what I’m compelled to listen to!! No choice!! LOL!!

If you had a special place for your three most special possessions (not including photos, electronics, people or animals), what would they be?

I suppose a Safe Deposit Box. I used to have one and those places are really secure. I remember being accompanied by a bank employee and going through several heavy duty chamber doors that reminded me of the beginning sequence of the old time TV Show Get Smart!!  One of my favorite Old School TV Shows. LOL!!  For you young folks here is the Get Smart theme:

 

The Never List: What are things you know you never will do?

Bungee Jumping and Hang Gliding!! To tell the truth any Extreme sport. I’m now at the age where I prefer staying safe and secure with my feet solidly on the ground! Also I’m deathly afraid of heights!!

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Had a health consultation with a Holistic Healer. I accepted her invitation to live a more healthy and productive lifestyle and God willing I plan to join her group focusing on holistic and organic ways to improve health.

http://www.empressiveherbs.com/

She focuses mostly on Women of African descent but only because Black Americans have high rates of high blood pressure and diabetes. Cancer is also a plague in the African-American community. Ladies of any color or race can join in. Yes I have high blood pressure and I’ve been told by my doctor that my sugar numbers are going up every years so I might get diabetes. Hopefully I can prevent this and not die an early death like my parents. Also if I can get rid of the arthritis without taking all types of horrible pills I’m down with the holistic natural game plan.

Another high note was I stepped up my Vitamin infusion health plan by adding CoQ10+ to my regimen. I have been taking the B 12 shots since last year. I only fell off in Jan. & Feb. because I had several meetings to attend for my brother Stephen. Got back on the Vitamin Infusion wagon early March.  The Vitamin injections do help but like any health strategy you must be consistent.

Reviv

http://www.revivme.com

As for the upcoming week I’m looking forward to entering and celebrating the month of April and praying that old man winter will finally release his grip on New York.

 

Photo from Cee Neuner

 

 

One Word Photo Challenge: Family


 

One Word Photo Challenge: Family

One Word Photo Challenge: Family

owpc logo 2

Part III: People, Places & Things

If you want to share a literal image of the actual word, do that. But if you’d rather play with word association, post something that reminds you of the specific word, or something you use the word for, do so. It only has to make sense to you. Have fun and keep on photographing!

owpc 2017

This week’s word is Family!

My Family Past and Present from the 19th Century to the 21st Century!

 

 

 

 

Share Your World – February 27, 2017


 

 

Share Your World – February 27, 2017

SYW BANNER

black-or-green-olivesEver ran out of gas in your vehicle?

No. Never. When I was able to drive I always made sure that I had a full tank of gas.

Which are better: black or green olives?

Neither one. Olives are too salty and I cannot eat them. High Blood Pressure. Pass the grapes or blueberries instead.

If you were a great explorer, what would you explore?

Africa. For me it would be like going home since that is where my ancestors are from. Not so much explore as it would be a Pilgrimage. Return to the Motherland. Fortunately I’ve made many friends from Africa via Blogging so I will go to Africa some day.

Quotes List: At least three of your favorite quotes?

 

Habakkuk 2:2

King James Version (KJV)

And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that reads it.

Proverbs 4:7

King James Version (KJV)

Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

And anything my parents used to say.  Here are three from my Dad Edward G. Palmer:

I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.

Get something in your head not just on your head.

And from my Mom Mable Palmer:

If you mess up. You clean up.

God don’t like Ugly.

What goes around comes around.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Grateful that today is my Birthday and God has allowed me to see another year of life. Happy to be 58!! Looking forward to my upcoming vacation starting Friday. Planning to spend time with my brother Stephen and relax.