The Fallacies of Youth


 

Combining  Youth and Jeopardize.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/youth/#like-249239

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/jeopardize/#like-249241

Fallacy

fal·la·cy
ˈfaləsē/
noun
plural noun: fallacies
  1. a mistaken belief, especially one based on unsound argument.
    “the notion that the camera never lies is a fallacy”
    synonyms: misconception, misbelief, delusion, mistaken impression,error, misapprehension, misinterpretation, misconstruction,mistake; More
    • LOGIC
      a failure in reasoning that renders an argument invalid.
    • faulty reasoning; misleading or unsound argument.
      “the potential for fallacy which lies behind the notion of self-esteem”

     

Youth ~~ A time of Life when the world is your Oyster and you truly believe that like the Disney character Jiminy Cricket that if you wished upon a star all your dreams will come true.

I have to admit that joining the Army afforded me the opportunity to deviate from my strict upbringing and experience the wide world of sex, drugs and partying.  I was not allowed to date until I was 17 and even then my Dad chaperoned my dates. So when I went into the military I had a kind of unchecked freedom in which to turn every No-No to a Yes-Yes. I had yet to realize the difference between friendship and Love. As they used to say back in the day I was Wild. Not to the point of having a child out of wedlock because that would have brought shame and disgrace to my family so I chose not to bring any kids into my free-wheeling lifestyle.

Also I knew that I did not want to get married. Ever. I made the decision when I was young to remain single. Being a Woman does not automatically make you a good candidate for marriage or motherhood. Being strong willed I’ve followed this Life of Singledom course with very few regrets. Occasionally I do wonder how my life would have turned out if I had gone the traditional route but after giving it some serious thought based on my personality for me to have pursued marriage or being a Mom would have been a disaster for all involved.

Now where does the word Jeopardize come in? Well often when you are young you jeopardize friendships with the opposite gender by introducing sex into the equation. After living in an abusive domestic violence relationship for seven years with my common-law husband I finally got physically free (he left me) in 2007. However it took years before I was mentally or emotionally free and to tell the truth I am not the same person that I was before I met him nor will I ever return to that open trusting young woman that was me.

I have dated a little (very little) in the last few years but I’ve learned that it’s best for me to remain friends with men and not engage in intimate behaviors. I’ve only deviated once to take a chance with a man whom I was friends with for several years and again disaster. Now we are no longer friends. Sex will ruin friendship every time.

I have one particular divorced male friend with whom I used to work with until he retired last year. We still talk on the phone about once a month and I emailed him when anything interesting happens at the job. Of course initially there was that sexual attraction but now that I’m in my 50s and he’s in his 60s we know better than to make mistakes which will destroy a great friendship. I really enjoying being able to talk with him because we have the same core values, we can discuss a wide variety of topics, he gives good advice and has a great perspective on Life.

Romance is something found in books, theater plays and movies. Real life is totally different. The Divorce rate in America is I believe 50% that includes Christians also. Therefore I’ve never seen any good reason to join myself to some man’s Life and exclude and deny my own goals, dreams and aspirations. As a Woman you always have to weigh what you gain in a relationship against what you will have to give up. Usually as the woman you put aside your wants, dreams, and desires to fulfill his. Having been through that many times I always sided with Me as opposed to him therefore I am not wife material.

I’m glad I’m no longer in my youth excepting my bodily aches and pains. In that case I wish I had my 27 year old pain free body back!! LOL!!  This 57 year old body mocks me on a daily basis!

With aging has come not only knowledge but wisdom. The dumb, stupid, foolish mistakes of my youth are behind me. I don’t compete with other women young or old for the attentions of men. Of course I enjoy hearing and getting compliments from men. What woman doesn’t? (My next post will be on that subject.) But my perspectives have changed. Menopause has simmered down my hormones. The desire for sex decreases. With my hectic crazy work schedule if offered the choice between sex and sleep I’ll take sleep. By myself. Alone.

I can’t say what the future holds. Will I meet the man of my dreams and yes I still do dream but on the other hand I’m not looking for him because one of the graces of old age is to accept Life as it is and not to relive or try to revive a youth that no longer physically exists. Inside I still have the excitement I felt when I was 18 getting on my first plane ride to Ft. Jackson, SC for Basic Training and AIT. When I’m alone walking through New York City streets, Central Park or any Botanic Garden I still marvel and wonder at both creations of man and God but now instead of acting on impulse it’s a quiet awe, reverence and respect and quiet Thanks to my Creator for allowing me to make it thus far and prayers as I travel to my 60s and begin the next phase of my life.

2 thoughts on “The Fallacies of Youth

  1. This is beautiful self-reflection, DeBorah. In relationships, we always have ask ourselves whether this person will add value to our lives.If the answer is no, then keep it moving. ❤

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