Anger Mgmt 101

On By dancingpalmtreesIn DeBorah, DeBorah Ann Palmer, Edward G. Palmer, Edward Gordon Palmer, Edward Palmer, LL Cool J - Mama Said Knock You Out, Mable Elizabeth Palmer, Mable Palmer, Nubia, Nubian Ninja, Phenomenon - LL Cool J, U.S. Army Veteran, Uncategorized, Vietnam

 

Today at work I had a good laugh. One of the male security guards actually went to one of our Lady Shop Stewards to complain that his feelings were hurt because I stop speaking to him. I nearly burst out laughing but I managed to contain my chuckles because dickhead knew very well why I stopped speaking to him.

After a prior incident where he not only insulted me but had nerve to do it in front of the visitors well I blasted him good. My initials stand for Don’t Play. This is a job where we are required to be professional. If you got beef with me you need to talk to me in private not in front of the general public.  I warned him then and there that I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but you picked the wrong one. Unfortunately if you work in a department that’s mostly male you’re gonna have men who challenge you or attempt to intimidate you.

I don’t do challenge or intimidation. Just because you’re a man does not make you better or smarter than me. Since his dumb ass is not a supervisor you need to watch what you say to me. Even if you are a supervisor if you talk out of turn I’m gonna speak up for myself.

I’m one that once you mess with me unless you apologize I’m not forgiving you. Fuck Forgiveness. Fuck Feelings. Wrong Female. I don’t owe you anything. There is No Love nor Light. The only Light you will get from me is when I Light your ass up! And that’s not a Light you want to experience. I Do Not Tolerate any disrespect from anybody. It’s that simple!!

Mable and Edward Palmer did not raise me to be a doormat. In fact my parents told me not to take crap off anyone and that I had a right to defend myself.

LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out

Mr. Angry Asshole had offended several co-workers and many stopped talking to him. Many years ago he was demoted from a higher security position because of his temper. His anger has gotten the better of him to the point that he has had several heart attacks. At least one on the premises and he is not even 50 years old!

I think he feels I should and I must converse with him because we are both Veterans. Well I’m a Veteran all he is and was what we in the Military call Weekend Warriors. Meaning he was in the Reserves. One weekend out of the month and two weeks out of the year of actual service. I was in four years full-time, 24/7/365.

Just to show you how truly nasty Mr. Numb-nuts is we have a gentleman who is also a security officer who served bravely during the Vietnam War. This wonderful man actually saw action. He suffers from PTSD but goes out of his way to be extra nice to all our co-workers. He is a pleasure to work with. He follows the Catholic faith always with his prayer beads and follows Jesus teachings. Everyone Loves him.  Except one person. Guess who? You guessed right! Private Jackass.  The Lumpy Paleface Lunatic actually had the nerve to badmouth a great man who went through the trauma of seeing people killed and trying to save the lives of wounded soldiers (he was a medic).

As for Knucklehead most of the guards try to avoid him. He has very few friends. Not many will put up with his rude, nasty, sarcastic remarks. I’m all for humor, cracking jokes and laughter but making fun of people, insults, lack of proper communication skills and zero people skills are not acceptable.

I have not guilt nor shame in cutting ties with abusive co-workers.  That person does not write my checks nor are they paying my bills. Forgive and Forget don’t work here.  I will dismiss you and keep on stepping. I have no shame in my game.

I AM THE FEMALE PHENOMENON!!  THE ORIGINAL NUBIAN NINJA!!

The Notorious D.A.P. has spoken!!

Phenomenon – LL Cool J

 

 

Moral of the Story: Don’t Let your mouth write checks that your ass can’t cash!!

27 thoughts on “Anger Mgmt 101”

  1. sumtimes one might wunder if ya should have stayed in ” da war rewm” or game” of military…
    all i can thinkof is all the good things ya would have missed out on if ya did,
    an all the bad things ya might have had to take part in also, so gratitude- yes indeed is the best werd of the day in my perspective, although u do lewk very kewl in dat uni-form 🙂 namaste’ 2 u an urs frum … Q ❤

  2. Well I be heard of those LL cool J songs – and I like he “don’t play” for your initials – also – I agree about the doormat – in the 90s we heard the sweetest message about how well meaning people confuse things – there is a time to hold your stance (or cut ties as you noted here) – otherwise it could be “casting pedals before swine” and is not even valued – I do think there are times for forgiveness – but when the situation warrants – because when that Happens it can make for some nice relations – in fact – sometimes forgiveness can soften someone in only a way that love can – not saying that is at all the case here – but sometimes softness turns away wrath and as humans – we sometimes need grace – it can be a cold world and I will not go on about how “hurt people hurt others” because sometimes there has been little accountability with unchecked behavior and sloppy manners and like you said – calling out unprofessionally – juts not cool!

    1. By going to the Union Rep/Shop Steward shows he’s a punk and needs to “Man Up.” If you can’t admit your mistakes but think others should just put up with nonsense well that’s a fantasy world. I’m not perfect and when I hurt someone I go to them in person and apologize. No intermediaries. When I was a young woman just going into the civilian workforce after serving in the Army My Dad said to me I’m at work to earn a paycheck. Not win a popularity contest. Making friends is gravy. At that time I didn’t understand what he meant. Now I do. Not everybody can or should be your “Friend.” The word “Friend” needs to be redefined. Friendship involves respect for other people and professionalism in the workplace. As for me I deal with Grown Folks. Ain’t got no time for 40 something year old babies. Thanks for your comments. Very insightful!! 🙂

      1. Thanks for your reply – really seasoned stuff there – and my very favorite is the part about going to the person directly and having the guts to address things – and address things head on!
        Have a great Sunday Amiga ! 😉💕

  3. Was interesting reading how different Veterans react when confronted with someone like Mr Angry Arsehole, I’ve seen a few like him also. Being a Nam Medic was no walk in the path, I know, I was a Medic also.

    1. Anger Man is a Legend in His own Mind!! LOL!! 🙂 Much respect and admiration to all Vietnam Vets plus those brave men and women who serve(d) in Iraq & Afghanistan!!

    1. True that Sheldon!! With a staff of over 2000 we have our share of idiots. Most of the people I work with are very professional, very nice, polite and have excellent work ethic. Then there are those who obviously either had No “Home Training” or perhaps they were coddled and still expect the pacifier. Well I’m not at work to coddle or pacify 40+ year old supposedly grown ass men. This is a job. We are adults and should act accordingly. I go to work to earn a paycheck and want to get through the day without too much problems. However if a person insists upon confrontation, well they will be sorry they made that decision. If nothing else I know how to handle my business.

  5. I love the way you manage your anger by directing it at someone whose earned it. It’s something we all have to do from bottom up. I’m sick of the every day verbal abuse we hear from people who want us to think that theirs is a ‘brave stance’ against politically correct tyranny. Hate and disrespect are not a political stance; they are an abusive use of language and have no place in our lives..

      2. Management and human resources. This guy is white so he knows that he can get away with abusive behavior. He will not be punished. I on the other hand will continue to suffer.

      3. This is why we need Federally Funded Legal aid. We had that until Uncle Ronnie Rayguns ascended to power on the backs of the so called ‘backlash’ against the Civil Rights Movement. Conservatives quietly did away with any government program that was designed to help poor and working class people to fully enjoy their rights as citizens. This man is harrassing and verbally abusing you and your employers are not protecting your rights in the workplace. They are violating your rights under the law.

      4. I’m going to try to transfer out of the building to another building where I won’t have to see or encounter him. Hopefully that will work. As for the laws there are good to have but if not enforced then what good are they?

      5. Rights are a sham if we can’t access the tools to have them enforced. The right is fine with rights that we can’t enforce which is why states controlled by right wing governors and legislators immediately set out to ‘nullify’ them. We need an active voting public that understands our ‘taxes’ a common fund from which we all deserve to benefit. One aspect of those benefits are public services designed to provide us with ‘access’ to resources that we can’t afford on our own. Taxes are the people’s money. We can restore what 40 years of failed republican policies took away. But we have to shut our ears to the stream of paid lies from our corporate media and become more active as citizens in the every day business of running a democracy.

      6. One of the benefits of “White Privilege” A white male is not accountable to anyone or responsible for his actions. If this guy decided he wanted to hit me, maim me or kill me he knows that nothing would happen to him. This is not the first time this has happened at my workplace. A few years ago I was attacked by a different white male co-worker on my job. Of course I complained to Mgmt & Human Resources but he was allowed to stay until he threatened another white male co-worker. Then he was allowed to retire.

        If I live to retire from this job it will be a miracle. Here is an old expression my parents used to say, If you’re white your alright. If you’re brown stick around. If you’re Black get back.

      7. I know how it feels to live as a target but I can NEVER know how it feels to live as a target because of the color of my skin. But I don’t have to know how being the target of racists feels to KNOW that it is wrong and that in a moral society we DO NOT TOLERATE the murders and beatings of fellow citizens because of race. A culture that does tolerate such things is not moral or civilized. People who claim to love this country but who don’t love their fellow citizens DON’T love this country. We can’t call ourselves a just nation until we become a civilized nation.

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