Something inside me broke. Perhaps because I have so much internal conflict and when I’m with Stephen I can take off the mask. But then again I’m broken. I’m a Nightmare the gods
For several weeks something within me has been breaking, collapsing, pieces falling apart. Rolling across the earth. Some swallowed up. Whatever Control I thought I had is long gone. Tiredness and exhaustion have stolen my immortal soul. When you’re lost you no longer know who you are.
As I try to erase and blot out the voices of those telling me who I should be and how to get there. But I know to ask why. Don’t Put Your Chains on me for I’ve Made My Bed in the Land of Other.
Because I don’t want to join your journey………… For I’m Only a Few Steps Away from Grace….
For Mable Palmer who did not survivor cancer but lives on in our collective memories.
This is the first of what I hope will be many Sibling Stories about the siblings of developmentally disabled adults. The siblings are often overlooked and there does not seem to be much in the way of programs or services that address the needs of siblings so I’ve decided to do some blog posts to highlight the lives of siblings. Our needs, hopes, dreams, goals and desires. We are multi-faceted and multi-dimensional.
The first in this series is my buddy and former co-worker Mr. Harvey Lackey. I had the pleasure of working with Harvey for four years. He is a young man filled with joy, happiness and a quick wit.
Please enjoy and give his music a listen.
Also please remember my Theme Song Jingle!!
Don’t hate! Communicate!! Collaborate!! Listen to your Heart and Donate!! To Agencies and Organizations that provide support services and programs to Developmentally Disabled persons!! Thanks!!
Harvey’s Story
Living with an developmentally disabled sister is a job and work in progress. You always have to keep one eye open to keep her safe. Conversation wise is not easy on my part, because she is limited in some ways with conversation & i’m not really a talkative person and i’m constantly busy. Living with 2 other older sisters & mother makes it easier to deal with. She influences my music a in some ways and she loves listening to the radio a lot in her free time. She was under care at a program called AMAC and currently under a program called IAHD.
Bio:
Ras (X) is a producer/MC/Underground Indie Artist & was born in New York & raised in the Bronx. He loves hip hop, & has been a fan since the ’90s as a kid growing up. The artist’s and songs that really got him wanting to produce & MC was 2Pac, Nore’s “Banned From TV” & Canibus. After hearing 2Pac’s All Eyez On Me, he thought, I have 2 try 2 write sum lyrics. He would spend hours writing rhymes & trying 2 imitate various rappers flows & lyrics. Also, he is a huge fan of that mid ’90s-early ’00s sound. He try’s 2 get his music 2 sound like that era in the best possible way. He is a workaholic, & spends as much time possible making beats & just trying to stay on top of his game. The moniker “Ras (X)” comes from his middle name Rashid, shortened to just Ras & the (X) is unknown, meaning it could mean anything, such as Ras (X)-Cellent, Ras (X)-Man, Ras (X)-Troadinaire & so on.
Ras (X) loves the process of making music. It can stem from mood, experience, everyday situations or short notice ideas. In other words, it’s very sporadic. Hearing the finished product is what drives Ras (X).
Production Credits: Aye Nyce, BillzZz, Da NaughtY, Jerms Black, D-Will, Larry Bondz, Mic Bookz, Epik, IRA, Joey Jesus, Kapi-Ku, Soe Sykk, Just Biz, Sun Zee & more
Had my first B12 Booster shot Saturday morning. The offices are nice and clean. The gentleman who is a nurse who gave me my shot was professional and polite. He is also very good looking and easy on the eyes!! LOL!! Yes young folks I still look at men even at my age! LOL!!
I did feel energized afterwards. Also treated myself to a manicure and a pedicure. The way I figure we are not on this earth just to work and pay bills. I work loads of overtime and I might as well spend some of that money on me. Naturally I always make sure that my rent is paid. One must have a place to live and New York winters are brutal.
I was able to go on an extended Soulful Strut (that’s what I call my photography walks) along 8th Avenue in Manhattan. The pictures will be posted both here and on my photography blog Roaming Urban Gypsy. https://roamingurbangypsy.com/
Once I pay my landlord, purchased my Metro Card (bus & subway), utility and phone bills I try to buy myself a small treat. For those of you wondering I pay cash. No credit cards for me. Also Yes I am saving for retirement. That comes out of my paycheck automatically and goes into a Fidelity Savings plan that I cannot touch until I’m 59 or probably 60. As a Union employee I also get a pension. When I turn 62 God Willing I will apply for and collect Social security.
Obviously due to my girlfriends death emotionally I’m still sad, distressed and upset but her passing has motivated me to take better care of myself physically. There is not much I can do about my feelings. Nobody feels happy or joyful when a close friend dies. However in light of all that has happened my faith and reliance on God deepens.
Of course one can take all the vitamins in the world, eat the right foods, exercise all day long and then get hit by a truck or bus but all things being equal and having no control over accidents I hope to outlive my friend, co-workers, my parents and many of my relatives who have died in their 50s and 60s. Since I turned 50 in 2009 I’ve seen, heard and been to more wakes and funerals than I care to admit. I guess the key is to make it past 65. My goal is to live to be 70 an age that neither one of my parents achieved. At least one can apply for social security at 62 and have a few years to enjoy oneself before traveling to the great beyond.
I never smoked. Rarely drink alcohol. Eat very little red meat and no dairy. I do some moderate exercise usually walking during the week. I’m open to new health technologies. Reviv | IV Therapy infusion is one that I shall participate in on a regular consistent basis as long as I’m able. Everybody wants to live a long life but living a long life without good health is worthless. Who wants to be a vegetable, in a nursing home or become a burden to one’s family members if you’re fortunate to have living relatives who even desire to care for you.
Since I never married nor had children the onus is on me. Also my brother Stephen is another great inspiration and motivation for me to be my Personal Best. Stephen is the World’s Greatest Autism Guy and in excellent physical condition. Only the two of us now so Stephen relies on me. Once I retire in approximately two years I want Stephen and I to be able to do fun activities and enjoy our Golden Years together.
These are some some Old Tyme Family Photos mostly from my Dad’s side of the family some of which date back to just after the Civil War. The photos cover both the 19th and 20th Centuries.
This is a Tin Type photo of an unknown unnamed Ancestor
Grandfather William Palmer with 4 of his children 1923
My Grandmother Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer
My Dad Edward Gordon Palmer
My Aunt Thelma Palmer Varner
Rosalie Palmer My Grandfather’s Sister
Aunt Carrie ~~ George Gordon’s Sister
My Dad Edward G. Palmer
My Dad Edward G. Palmer
Fredrick H. Halstead_Sept. 6, 1898_Little’s Brother
My Maternal Grandmother Hattie Finney Banks
My Maternal Aunt Helen James
Henry Keyser
Mom Mable Palmer
Mom & Dad
Shout Out to fellow Photography Blogger Cee Neuner!!
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I Love You can be the most meaningful words in the English language or the most empty depending on who is speaking and their motivation. People toss around the word Love and Friend just as the emoticons on Facebook, Email or other types of social media. When you say I Love You to somebody that means you’re willing to stick your neck out for them, be there for them no matter what the circumstances and Love as well as Friendship entails some risk and/or inconvenience. Love is being in a bloody nasty E.R. of a hospital because the one you Love is badly injured or is facing a Life threatening illness. Love is going with someone to their numerous medical appointments or at least making sure they have the means/access to transportation to get to the doctor’s office or hospital. Love is opening your home when said Loved One is about to be evicted, Love is still accepting and valuing your “Friend” | Loved One once they incur a disability that changes their Lives drastically.
Love is making sure that person has food to eat and warm clothing to wear in the scarcity and brutality of winter. Love is unchanging and stable as your friends from childhood and young adulthood change bodily and are no longer able to do the things they once did. Love does not include passing judgment on that person or rejecting them when the chips are down. Love is truly accepting folks of different sexual orientations.
Before you say you Love someone whether it is your Lover, Spouse, Friend or Family Member read 1 Corinthians 13 and really, truly think about what it is saying. Love is not your church or your religion. It goes beyond that because most folks are just Pew Warmers. They attend church out of duty and obligation or fancy church as a type of social club. Until then Please Stop Telling Me that you Love me because obviously you have No Idea of the True Meaning of the Word. I have no use for “Jesus in a Box” Christians who pull him out like a talisman that will give authority to whatever stupidity is about to come out of their mouths or through their pens/computers. Keep your type of Love for those who fit your narrow criteria.
Also Read Luke 10:25-37
The Parable of the Good Samaritan
Jesus spoke this parable because he knew his audience was composed of religious hypocrites who picked and chose who was worthy of their “Love.” Just Like today. I guess things have not changed all that much.
Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit 