Warning: For those of you who have been raped, went through Domestic Violence, sodomized or sexually assaulted Please Do Not Read this Post as it most likely continues Triggers. I have survived all those events but to this day I still experience sights, smells, words that set me off in the wrong direction.
Swords, needles, Lance, shattered glass, Knaves with Knives pierced my heart. For the one who pinned me to the wall with gnashing fanged teeth. They made me bleed but my life essence flowed into the ground and back up through and into my feet roots.
Many times I feel I’ve been banished to the Island of Misfit toys. Long ago in a far away land I was embedded in the fog, haze and mist of various “Happy Pills.” But I escaped. They tried to recapture me last year but once again the Warrior in me arose and I beat down my foes and thus a better life was reborn.
They tell me to forgive you. As though I were at fault.
They tell me that unless I forgive you burning coals will singe my soul. Forgiveness is for me. It will help heal my soul.
Yet I feel nothing. No pressure to forgive. No reason to forgive. No need to forgive. No guilt or shame. Because I feel nothing. Nothing for him. Nothing for all the hims that brutally attacked me. Why?! Because you, him, All the Hims have been banished, dismissed.
Those hims taught me how. Especially the one who raped me. The one who now wears the backward collar. Who leads unsuspecting congregations in Praise & Worship. Church. How convenient. The perfect place to find more victims. Women. Some willing. Carried along by a sacred oratory little knowing the ugly demon that lurks within. But I know. You come as an Angel of Light but I know who you really are. Hell is reserved for the devil and his angels. Your place in Hades awaits you.
The Persuaders – Thin Line between Love & Hate – Video (High Quality)
My heart has gone prehistoric stone implements. Flint knives now glisten in my eyes. How not to feel. How to dismiss who no longer is necessary yet keep the lessons for the future. How to dispatch with a cold ease. Victory!
I’M STILL HERE!!
To awaken a side of me that can put my abusers into compartments. Jails. I will never forget what they did. How they changed my life. Little did they know how my life has changed for the better. I don’t need to forgive for I am not at fault. And they. They shall receive due judgment from the Creator of All Life and I. I will sit back and smile.
My Salvation, Forgiveness and Redemption Belong Only to Me!
For I have learned to Fly again.