The Fallacies of Youth

On August 21, 2016 By dancingpalmtreesIn Army, Combining Youth and Jeopardize, Menopause, The Daily Post, The Fallacies of Youth, U.S. Army, U.S. Army Veteran, Uncategorized, United States Army2 Comments

Combining Youth and Jeopardize.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/youth/#like-249239

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/jeopardize/#like-249241

Fallacy

fal·la·cy

ˈfaləsē/

noun

plural noun: fallacies

a mistaken belief, especially one based on unsound argument.

“the notion that the camera never lies is a fallacy”

synonyms: misconception, misbelief, delusion, mistaken impression,error, misapprehension, misinterpretation, misconstruction,mistake; More
LOGIC

a failure in reasoning that renders an argument invalid.

faulty reasoning; misleading or unsound argument.

“the potential for fallacy which lies behind the notion of self-esteem”

Youth ~~ A time of Life when the world is your Oyster and you truly believe that like the Disney character Jiminy Cricket that if you wished upon a star all your dreams will come true.

I have to admit that joining the Army afforded me the opportunity to deviate from my strict upbringing and experience the wide world of sex, drugs and partying. I was not allowed to date until I was 17 and even then my Dad chaperoned my dates. So when I went into the military I had a kind of unchecked freedom in which to turn every No-No to a Yes-Yes. I had yet to realize the difference between friendship and Love. As they used to say back in the day I was Wild. Not to the point of having a child out of wedlock because that would have brought shame and disgrace to my family so I chose not to bring any kids into my free-wheeling lifestyle.

Also I knew that I did not want to get married. Ever. I made the decision when I was young to remain single. Being a Woman does not automatically make you a good candidate for marriage or motherhood. Being strong willed I’ve followed this Life of Singledom course with very few regrets. Occasionally I do wonder how my life would have turned out if I had gone the traditional route but after giving it some serious thought based on my personality for me to have pursued marriage or being a Mom would have been a disaster for all involved.

Now where does the word Jeopardize come in? Well often when you are young you jeopardize friendships with the opposite gender by introducing sex into the equation. After living in an abusive domestic violence relationship for seven years with my common-law husband I finally got physically free (he left me) in 2007. However it took years before I was mentally or emotionally free and to tell the truth I am not the same person that I was before I met him nor will I ever return to that open trusting young woman that was me.

I have dated a little (very little) in the last few years but I’ve learned that it’s best for me to remain friends with men and not engage in intimate behaviors. I’ve only deviated once to take a chance with a man whom I was friends with for several years and again disaster. Now we are no longer friends. Sex will ruin friendship every time.

I have one particular divorced male friend with whom I used to work with until he retired last year. We still talk on the phone about once a month and I emailed him when anything interesting happens at the job. Of course initially there was that sexual attraction but now that I’m in my 50s and he’s in his 60s we know better than to make mistakes which will destroy a great friendship. I really enjoying being able to talk with him because we have the same core values, we can discuss a wide variety of topics, he gives good advice and has a great perspective on Life.

Romance is something found in books, theater plays and movies. Real life is totally different. The Divorce rate in America is I believe 50% that includes Christians also. Therefore I’ve never seen any good reason to join myself to some man’s Life and exclude and deny my own goals, dreams and aspirations. As a Woman you always have to weigh what you gain in a relationship against what you will have to give up. Usually as the woman you put aside your wants, dreams, and desires to fulfill his. Having been through that many times I always sided with Me as opposed to him therefore I am not wife material.

I’m glad I’m no longer in my youth excepting my bodily aches and pains. In that case I wish I had my 27 year old pain free body back!! LOL!! This 57 year old body mocks me on a daily basis!

With aging has come not only knowledge but wisdom. The dumb, stupid, foolish mistakes of my youth are behind me. I don’t compete with other women young or old for the attentions of men. Of course I enjoy hearing and getting compliments from men. What woman doesn’t? (My next post will be on that subject.) But my perspectives have changed. Menopause has simmered down my hormones. The desire for sex decreases. With my hectic crazy work schedule if offered the choice between sex and sleep I’ll take sleep. By myself. Alone.

I can’t say what the future holds. Will I meet the man of my dreams and yes I still do dream but on the other hand I’m not looking for him because one of the graces of old age is to accept Life as it is and not to relive or try to revive a youth that no longer physically exists. Inside I still have the excitement I felt when I was 18 getting on my first plane ride to Ft. Jackson, SC for Basic Training and AIT. When I’m alone walking through New York City streets, Central Park or any Botanic Garden I still marvel and wonder at both creations of man and God but now instead of acting on impulse it’s a quiet awe, reverence and respect and quiet Thanks to my Creator for allowing me to make it thus far and prayers as I travel to my 60s and begin the next phase of my life.

Approaching My 3rd Act

On December 26, 2014 By dancingpalmtreesIn 50+, African American Queen, African Goddess, Black Unicorn, Broken Angels, Broken Hearts, cacophony, Catharsis, Craving, Creativity, DeBorah, deception, Deliverance, Delusions, Dissonance, Dreams, Erotic, Ethiopian Goddess, Expectations, Fallen Angels, Female Divinity, Feminine Divine, Free Agent, Freedom, Goddess, Jane Fonda, Menopause, Photography, Ted Talk, Truth, Understanding, Wisdom, Writing4 Comments

3^rd Act

Wisdom. Understanding. My Truth. Freedom. Moving towards my 3rd Act ~ Age 60 but not yet there. What aging was for my mother’s and grandmother’s generations is a whole new ballgame for me and I’m a Free Agent enjoying the ride.

I’ve been thinking about how I see myself as opposed to how other see me. Slowly I’m freeing myself from the constraints of youth. Actually I’m happier and more pleased with myself that I ever was 30 or even 20 years ago. I’m not running behind or chasing some man. Nor am I desperate to be in a relationship. Even in the face of emotional pain and heartbreak I have the courage to step away from a relationship that I know will never work and is not meant to be. I ignore the preconceived notions of what a woman should be. Of course like every other human being on this earth I deal with insecurities, fears, obstacles, all human faults and fragilities. After all you gotta break some eggs to make an omelet.

Each decade brings its own crises and a new set of questions and self-knowledge at least for those who are honest. In my 20s was my wild and crazy time. My 30s a decade of challenge where life’s tables were turned as I lost both my parents within the space of three years. My 40s I became more self-aware as my intellectual and academic lives merged and soared higher than a spaceship reaching for an unknown planet. As the economy crashed and burned after 2006 my life also took an unexpected detour actually several unexpected and in some cases unpleasant detours. Turning 50 in 2009 brought new possibilities but new queries. Health challenges via high blood pressure and a mini-stroke, retina surgery, vision loss. Changing lifestyle in my quest towards well-being and dealing with my new menopausal body. My new friend Mr. Arthur Itis who decided to make his presence known in a powerful way earlier this year. Stilling fighting Arthur with exercise but to be honest sometimes Arthur wins!! Yet in my mind I’m dancing. In my dreams I’m still that idealistic eighteen year old young woman who was always ready for the next adventure in life! Nowadays my body does not always obey my minds commands but I’m excited about my Third Act. After listening to Jane Fonda’s Ted Talk on new ways to view aging I’m looking forward to turning Sixty!!

Comfort levels also change as one gets older. In some areas of life one gets not only older but bolder. In other areas there is some hesitation born out of experience and caution. I find it is never good to make split second decisions especially if I’m angry or upset. Sleeping on it and allowing myself a good cry enables me to cleanse my system of sadness and worry. Letting my emotions out vents my soul then I can put things into perspective instead of committing self-sabotage. Also it’s okay to just stop. Stop. Put it to the side until I’m in my right mind. Screw all the people who tell me to keep going. Everyone needs a break. Sometimes I just need to sit for a few hours, day’s maybe even weeks and veg out.

Why be overwhelmed just to satisfy all the folks who want me to be strong, to be some fake, phony Super Woman who does not exist. Even I’m guilty of looking at a girlfriend’s life and asking, “Why does she stay in that situation? Why not just pick up and leave?” But in their life as in mine there are always extenuating circumstances that I will neither know nor understand. Hidden motivations that keep them in place because it is not yet time for them to move on.

There are thousands if not millions of voices out there disguised as “Life Coaches” and “Motivational Speakers” who demand you take control of your life on their terms but only you can make that decision. Only you know when is the right time to move onto the next phase, stage or level. As the Bible says you cannot put new wine into old wineskins. The most important voice you need to listen to is your own.

Despite the fact that financially I’m struggling that struggle does not define me. I still pursue my writing and photography dreams though I may never “get paid.” Writing and photography are my heart and soul passions that are beyond material gain. There is no need to sacrifice who I am to meet the outlooks of society. Art is Life! Back in Feb. 2014 when I turned 55 my Theme Song was I’m Still Here. Next year I’m Bringing back Sexy because it never left. By Age 56 Feb. 2015, I’m Taking it to the Next Phase! Third Act ~ I’m on my way!!

Ted Talk

http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_fonda_life_s_third_act

Call of the Side-Show: War Paint & Greasepaint

On August 28, 2014August 28, 2014 By dancingpalmtreesIn Uncategorized1 Comment

Call of the Side-Show: War Paint & Greasepaint

Alexander O’Neal

http://youtu.be/Bf-bY0nOTvE

Even as a young woman I was never one for too much make-up but I was curious. When I was a teenager my mother forbid me from wearing make-up because it would make me too “grown” or scandalous! Not something a good Baptist girl should be. Being a 13 year old my plan to get around this was to take the eye-shadow to school and put it on in the girls’ bathroom, then reverse the process taking it off before going home. Well one day I forgot. Went home with electric fluorescent blue eye shadow which only made me look like a candidate for Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus. Well when I got in the house my mother met me before I could remove my Clown make-up. To say she was upset was an understatement. I believe after yelling at me she went through my bedroom and tossed out any contraband make-up hiding in my dresser or closet.

I didn’t really experiment too much with make-up for a while. As a young Enlisted woman on my way to the NCO club with my girlfriends I was always the first one ready because I only used some lipstick and that was about it. Even now I stick with a little lip gloss, lipstick and only use eye-shadow if I’m going out to a party or special event. I see no reason to make Revlon, Bobby Brown or Estee Lauder richer than they already are.

I never tweezed or plucked my eyebrows until my 50s when the onset of menopause means facial hair in places that made me embarrassed thinking I was turning into a guy. Unless you’re in the sideshow mustaches and chin hairs are not a good thing especially if you hope to be attractive to the opposite sex. One of the hot trends now is the fake eyelashes. Not the ones you buy in the store but the ones that need to be individually applied in the salon. Since that involves glue I won’t be doing that ever. I’m lucky in that my own natural eyelashes have a good length and thickness. From time to time I will invest in Mascara to make them appear even longer and thicker. Vanity beckons from the beauty counters.

Many women are into beauty enhancements, some for fashion, and others to fight the aging process. Extensions, hair-weaves, Botox, Restalyne, fake nails, boob and butt jobs, etc… I admit that for special occasions I’ve had fancy African braided styles but then I go back to my Afro. When I was in my late 30s into my 40s I sported my Locs and am thinking of Loc’ing my hair again. I get my pedicures on a regular basis but usually just cut my own fingernails. It’s tacky to have raggedy feet and toes while wearing sandals in the summertime.

As I’ve gotten older most of the men I’ve dated and including my current BF prefer women to be natural. One guy I know calls make-up “War Paint”. Also many men love the natural kink, curl and knaps of Natural hair. Guys really don’t want to run their fingers through your hair in intimate moments and get snagged in hair weave tracks.

Happy to say that my Mr. Geechie Man is very happy with the natural me. No complaints. I’m happy too.

Breaking All Chains and Shackles

On August 2, 2014August 2, 2014 By dancingpalmtreesIn 50+, Africa, African American Queen, African Goddess, America, Ancestor, Ancestry, Angel, Army, Battle, Broken Angels, Broken Bones, Broken Hearts, Buddha, cacophony, Catharsis, Craving, Creativity, Damaged Goods, DeBorah, deception, Deliverance, Delusions, Depression, despair, Dissonance, Dreams, Edward Palmer, Ethiopian Goddess, Eva Gordon Palmer, Evangelists, Explore, Faith without Works is Dead, Fallen Angels, Family History, Family Tree, Female Divinity, Feminine Divine, Genetic lineage, Genetic Memory, Goddess, Hattie Finney Banks, Innovation, Inquisitive, Japan, Jerome, Jerry, Jesus, Knowledge, Koyaanisqatsi, Lost Souls, Mable Elizabeth Palmer, Mable Palmer, Memory, Menopause, Mother, Mother over Israel, Nirvana, profane, Redemption, Refuge, Rejection, Religion, Rescue, Riders on the Storm, Sacred, Sanctuary, Scars, Songs of Solomon & Sheba, sorrow, soul, Spirit, Spirituality, Stigmata, Tree of Knowledge, Uncategorized, Vision, Vision Quest, Walking Wounded, War, Wisdom, Woman

Despite the Challenges and setbacks in life my journey takes me to new places, new discoveries and new learning experiences.

Within the Soul the two natures of man exist each seeking the preeminence and each wanting to be the dominant force. The Sacred and the profane.

The Struggle of the Two Natures in Man George Grey Barnard (American, Bellefonte, Pennsylvania 1863–1938 New York) — The Struggle of the Two Natures in Man
George Grey Barnard (American, Bellefonte, Pennsylvania 1863–1938 New York)

A Lost Soul finds her way home. Chains are being Broken.

Tasha Cobbs — Break Every Chain

My Awakening has happened over a period of time. I went into the next phase of my Womanhood as I entered Menopause. Truly over the last several years as I entered my 50s, (I’m 55 now) I’ve undergone a revealing Change of Life. The Universe has opened up new portals and realms in which I travel taking on the mantle of being an Elder. I take my place within the Council of Elders as I march towards Infinity = Eternity.

The Heavens opened up and all my Ancestors, African, Native American, Christian, Buddhist, Indigenous Faiths began speaking to me on next steps in Life. I truly believe in the Scripture that says, “The Steps of the Righteous are Ordered by the Lord.” I’m discovering the Galaxies within. Through my Kindred Ancestors I’ve found into to Leap Forward I had to step back confronting my fears honestly with faith, gentleness, Wisdom and Understanding. I gather each of my broken pieces, honor the Divinity of each shard, embrace my tears, and like Isis I’ve gathered the pieces of my scattered tribes and Ethiopia is Reborn! Shall these dry bones live? Yes says the Creator of the Universe! Once again I sing the Songs of Solomon and Sheba.

Habakkuk 2:2-3 New International Version (NIV)

The Lord’s Answer

²Then the Lord replied:

“Write down the revelation
    and make it plain on tablets
    so that a herald may run with it.
³For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
    it speaks of the end
    and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
    it will certainly come
    and will not delay.

The Land of the Rising Sun embraced me as I entered the Border-less Gardens.

Live the Sankofa bird I’ve returned to myself. Despite raging battles without and within my Calling and Passion as a Scribe bid me come forth to record my Voyage. Grounded in the Lily. Supported by the Lotus.

The Queen has returned to her Queendom. She sits upon her Throne whilst reigning over the Seven Lands, A Judge and a Mother over Africa, Israel and the Americas.

Judges 4 & 5.

Isaiah 54:1-3 New International Version (NIV)

The Future Glory of Zion

54 “Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
²“Enlarge the place of your tent,
    stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
    strengthen your stakes.
³For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
    your descendants will dispossess nations
    and settle in their desolate cities.

Break every chain! Indigo Children Rejoice!!

Fifty Fabulous and Fifty Fantastic Freedoms

On March 8, 2013 By dancingpalmtreesIn 50+, African American Queen, African Goddess, Carnal, Dreams, Erotic, Judges 4: 4-5, Judges 5: 7, Menopause, Native American, Tattoos

Fifty Fabulous-Fifty Free

My 54^th Birthday this past Feb. 27^th turned out to be much better than I had ever wished. I have to admit four years ago when I entered the fifth decade of my life that after the initial thrill of turning the Big 5-0 that if struck me that I had made it to the half century point in my life. Questions posed themselves in my mind as to what that meant to be a woman in her 50s. Then came a time of troubles—health challenges. Commands that my body easily obeyed at 25 seemed to take a hellava lot longer now. Suddenly I had a new “boyfriend” named Arthur Itis. He woke me up in the morning. Followed me around all day long and keep me company at night. In fact he was more attentive than guy I’d ever known. Creaking joints Snapped, Crackled and Popped more than a bowl of Rice Krispies. I qualified for the titled of middle-aged Transformer. However by communicating with Transformers I’ve found ways to lessen the effects of that ill-mannered fellow Arthur and one day I hope to banish him completely from my life in favor a lover who inflicts less physical pain.

A few days after my Birthday I learned that my former company The Reader’s Digest is undergoing a Chapter 11 Reorganization. I received a letter in the mail to this effect which indicated phone numbers to call for more information. I learned will be able to collect my Reader’s Digest pension next year when I turn 55. Also I will be able get my annuity from United Way of New York City. Suddenly getting older is looking better and better each day. Now I’m counting down to February 27, 2014!!

Let’s face it money is a tool that gives us access to more options. Retirement. Once something way off in the distant future is a short five or six years away for me now. Pensions, annuities, retirement, together all mean freedom to pursue my passions, goals, and my deepest heartfelt desires with the means and time to do so. Doing my Happy Dance! Perhaps depending on the amount of money I receive I will be able to stop working full-time and just take a part-time job. More time to engage with my writing, my art, and my photography. More choices. Life rapidly expands to 55 flavors, way more than Baskin-Robbins without the stomach upset!! LOL!! A new confidence has arisen within my soul. Hell yeah!! It’s time for another Tattoo maybe an additional piercing to celebrate this great Victory!!

Fifty-Five is the magic number for pensions, annuities and senior housing. I’m not sure if you knew this but you can apply for Senior Housing in New York City at age 55. I plan on doing this next year. Now all my dreams are doable. I see light at the end of the tunnel. Next year I could actually travel on my vacation instead of staying home. Hallelujah!!

Another blessing in disguise is kind of silly but I’ll share it anyway. I’ve finally gone one entire year without having a menstrual cycle which means I’m now officially in Menopause. No more periods. No babies. No need to use birth control, of course I stopped using birth control years ago, but if I do meet a nice gentleman I no longer have to worry about becoming pregnant! Yeah!! Hip! Hip!! Hooray!! Naturally until I meet the right man I’ll continue to be celibate. Another good thing about being a woman in her 50s is that I’m no longer controlled by my libido or my hormones. I’ve become more selective and celibacy is an option that I will continue to embrace while still finding joy with my physical body and my enhanced sexuality as an older woman.

Financially Free, sexually free with time to engage in meaningful activities and relationships. Being in my 50s does not mean less than but more than ever. An elevation to a higher level of living. A greater share in life’s blessings.