Portraits | Faded Photos ~~ Vibrant Memories

On August 10, 2016August 10, 2016 By dancingpalmtreesIn BILL WITHERS GRANDMA'S HANDS, DeBorah, DeBorah Ann Palmer, Edward G. Palmer, Edward Gordon Palmer, Edward Palmer, Eva Gordon Palmer, Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer, Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer -- Grandmother, Family, Mother Zion A.M.E. church, Sly & The Family Stone - A Family Affair, Uncategorized, William Junius Palmer, William Palmer13 Comments

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Portraits

Paint a picture with words, capture someone on film, sketch a face in the crowd — this week, share a portrait.

Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer -- Grandmother — Paternal Grandmother Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer

Eva Sophronia Gordon born 1891. Married William Junius Palmer January 1919. First child Stanley born September 1919 died of Polio. Daughters Helen, Thelma and Eva all Lived. Eva’s twin William born 1922 also died of polio. Her last child my Father Edward Gordon Palmer was born 1930. He was the only boy to survive. His nickname was Precious.

I often wonder how my grandmother coped with losing two of her children but I suppose in those days there was little time to grieve plus eventually other children to care for. My Grandmother was a member of Mother Zion A.M.E. church so I’m sure that gave her comfort.

My Grandmother Eva was my Grandfather’s second wife. His first wife died and he needed a wife to care for him plus his first set of kids. My Grandmother needed a husband so as the story goes it was arranged for my Grandmother to cook my Grand Dad a meal. Must have been a good meal because they got married and stayed married until the early 1960s when they passed away.

Funerals tend to present you with unexpected family information on or about people you never knew existed. In May 1995 when my father Edward G. Palmer passed away I encountered some cousins I never knew I had. What shocked me was the man telling me that we were related was a tall white guy with blue eyes!! Then the stories of my Grandfather’s first wife began to make sense and the reason why he had a sudden departure from Petersburg, VA. His first wife was white! All during my childhood I had heard how my grandparents took in these kids, white kids but as I grew up that made no sense. Jim Crow was the law of the land and Miscegenation (whites marrying Blacks and vice versa) was a crime (Miscegenation Law was not abolished until 1968). I suppose my grandparents had to come up with some kind of story so that’s the tale I was told. It also explains why he never discussed his childhood or young adult years with my Dad. Some things are better left unsaid.

My Grandfather died when I was very young so I have no memory of him and very little of my Grandmother. I was around five or six when she passed away so my memories of her are faded, distant and dim but I always try to hang onto our trips into Harlem to visit her. This has imprinted on my mind. When I think back I can still see her apartment and envision the living room, kitchen one of the bedrooms and some of her furnishings. It’s very important to keep those Memory Portraits fresh in ones mind.

Again in 2010 when the last of the Greatest Generation my Aunt Helen Palmer Garcia made her passage to the other side I met more of these “hidden” cousins. Unfortunately even though at that time I exchanged information with them we have not stayed in touch and I moved in 2012 so it would be difficult for me to find them or them to find me.

As we gathered in Aunt Helen’s church for the repast someone took a photo of our Rainbow Family but like everything else on my hard drive it has decided to hide. When you see my relatives we truly are a mixed race mosaic of America.

Edward Gordon Palmer 1935 — My Dad Edward Gordon Palmer as a child in Harlem. This photograph was taken by famous Harlem Renaissance Photographer James Van Der Zee.

James Van Der Zees former Photo Studio

Grandfather_4kids_1926 — Grandfather William Palmer with his children 1922, Mt.Morris Park, Harlem, New York.

Grandma Eva's Music Sewing Box — Grandma Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer — Grandmother Music Sewing Box

Memory Lane – Minnie Riperton

BILL WITHERS GRANDMA’S HANDS

Sly & The Family Stone – A Family Affair

Anger Mgmt 101

On July 30, 2016July 30, 2016 By dancingpalmtreesIn DeBorah, DeBorah Ann Palmer, Edward G. Palmer, Edward Gordon Palmer, Edward Palmer, LL Cool J - Mama Said Knock You Out, Mable Elizabeth Palmer, Mable Palmer, Nubia, Nubian Ninja, Phenomenon - LL Cool J, U.S. Army Veteran, Uncategorized, Vietnam27 Comments

Today at work I had a good laugh. One of the male security guards actually went to one of our Lady Shop Stewards to complain that his feelings were hurt because I stop speaking to him. I nearly burst out laughing but I managed to contain my chuckles because dickhead knew very well why I stopped speaking to him.

After a prior incident where he not only insulted me but had nerve to do it in front of the visitors well I blasted him good. My initials stand for Don’t Play. This is a job where we are required to be professional. If you got beef with me you need to talk to me in private not in front of the general public. I warned him then and there that I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but you picked the wrong one. Unfortunately if you work in a department that’s mostly male you’re gonna have men who challenge you or attempt to intimidate you.

I don’t do challenge or intimidation. Just because you’re a man does not make you better or smarter than me. Since his dumb ass is not a supervisor you need to watch what you say to me. Even if you are a supervisor if you talk out of turn I’m gonna speak up for myself.

I’m one that once you mess with me unless you apologize I’m not forgiving you. Fuck Forgiveness. Fuck Feelings. Wrong Female. I don’t owe you anything. There is No Love nor Light. The only Light you will get from me is when I Light your ass up! And that’s not a Light you want to experience. I Do Not Tolerate any disrespect from anybody. It’s that simple!!

Mable and Edward Palmer did not raise me to be a doormat. In fact my parents told me not to take crap off anyone and that I had a right to defend myself.

LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out

Mr. Angry Asshole had offended several co-workers and many stopped talking to him. Many years ago he was demoted from a higher security position because of his temper. His anger has gotten the better of him to the point that he has had several heart attacks. At least one on the premises and he is not even 50 years old!

I think he feels I should and I must converse with him because we are both Veterans. Well I’m a Veteran all he is and was what we in the Military call Weekend Warriors. Meaning he was in the Reserves. One weekend out of the month and two weeks out of the year of actual service. I was in four years full-time, 24/7/365.

Just to show you how truly nasty Mr. Numb-nuts is we have a gentleman who is also a security officer who served bravely during the Vietnam War. This wonderful man actually saw action. He suffers from PTSD but goes out of his way to be extra nice to all our co-workers. He is a pleasure to work with. He follows the Catholic faith always with his prayer beads and follows Jesus teachings. Everyone Loves him. Except one person. Guess who? You guessed right! Private Jackass. The Lumpy Paleface Lunatic actually had the nerve to badmouth a great man who went through the trauma of seeing people killed and trying to save the lives of wounded soldiers (he was a medic).

As for Knucklehead most of the guards try to avoid him. He has very few friends. Not many will put up with his rude, nasty, sarcastic remarks. I’m all for humor, cracking jokes and laughter but making fun of people, insults, lack of proper communication skills and zero people skills are not acceptable.

I have not guilt nor shame in cutting ties with abusive co-workers. That person does not write my checks nor are they paying my bills. Forgive and Forget don’t work here. I will dismiss you and keep on stepping. I have no shame in my game.

I AM THE FEMALE PHENOMENON!! THE ORIGINAL NUBIAN NINJA!!

The Notorious D.A.P. has spoken!!

Phenomenon – LL Cool J

Moral of the Story: Don’t Let your mouth write checks that your ass can’t cash!!

The Good Fight

On July 26, 2016July 26, 2016 By dancingpalmtreesIn 2 Timothy 4:7-8 King James Version (KJV), Proverbs 31:10-31 King James Version (KJV), The Good Fight, Uncategorized9 Comments

When my Dad Edward G. Palmer passed away May 13th, 1995 this is the scripture I chose for his prayer cards.

2 Timothy 4:7-8

King James Version (KJV)

⁷I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

⁸Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

For my Mom Mable E. Palmer’s passing in August 1998 I selected the 23rd Psalm. The Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31: 10-31 also describes my Mom perfectly.

I can only hope when my time comes and I pass from labor to reward both these scriptures will be used to describe my existence on this earth. I hope that I embody both of these character traits of my mother and father.

Neither of my parents was what you’d call religious. They were not church goers but they did believe in God, honesty, discipline, hard work and faithfulness. My Mom and Dad were married for 40 years. I used to be a regular pew-sitter but after my last Aunt died in 2010 I had to ask myself why am I going to church and what good is it doing for me? Or rather who am I fooling? Not God because the Creator knows the creation.

It finally dawned on me that God is not within the four walls of a building. For me personally I find God within Nature. When the weather permits I try to get to some green space to commune with God’s creation. If nothing else for whatever time I have left on this earth I want to be open, authentic and honest with myself if only for peace of mind.

Proverbs 31:10-31

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁰Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

¹¹The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

¹²She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

¹³She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

¹⁴She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

¹⁵She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

¹⁶She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

¹⁷She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

¹⁸She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

¹⁹She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

²⁰She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

²¹She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

²²She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

²³Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

²⁴She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

²⁵Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

²⁶She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

²⁷She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

²⁸Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

²⁹Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

³⁰Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth theLord, she shall be praised.

³¹Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Wanderlust!!

On July 3, 2016July 3, 2016 By dancingpalmtreesIn Bear Mountain, Brooklyn, Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, Circle Line, DeBorah, DeBorah Ann Palmer, Edward G. Palmer, Edward Gordon Palmer, Edward Palmer, Nature Get-A-Way Fantasy, Saratoga, NY, Stephen, Stephen Vincent Palmer, The Brooklyn Botanic Garden, Uncategorized17 Comments

When I was a young girl I enjoyed a TV program called On The Road with Charles Kuralt. I’d tune in just to see where his adventures took him. Exciting. I always wanted to be a combination of Charles Kuralt and Zora Neale Hurston the famous African-American writer however as I’m nearly legally blind my driving days are long over. Me driving would be like putting Mr. Magoo behind the wheel! Also I cannot be too far from my brother Stephen who has Autism because his group home needs to stay in contact with me. But it still is a wonderful fantasy!

Nature has been my solace. Parks and Botanic Gardens re-energize, invigorate and provide me with a sense of peace. Within the steel, glass and concrete of New York City one can still find many green spaces. Also New York is more than the Big Apple which is what most people see in the media, TV, magazines and movies. Upstate New York is more rural and if I had the time and money I would spend a summer exploring those cities.

When my Dad was alive we did go to Saratoga, New York one summer for a day or two. Saratoga is famous for horse racing. We did not see the horses run but spent a wonderful time exploring the great outdoors. Saratoga is also famous for its therapeutic hot springs something I really need since I suffer from chronic back and arthritis pain!

When Stephen and I were kids Daddy would take us every summer on the Circle Line cruises to Bear Mountain. Circle Line also went to West Point and Daddy always gave us a choice between the two and like clockwork every time we chose Bear Mountain. Never saw any bears (Thank Goodness) but again we enjoyed Nature and just being outdoors! Getting on those hiking trails and seeing the different types of trees, flowers, and other flora! Oh for the good old days!!

In my Nature Get-A-Way Fantasy Stephen and I load up our 21st Century Winnebago, make ourselves comfortable inside our luxury vehicle while our personal driver takes us up and down the East coast of the U.S.A. periodically making stops to take in the Great Outdoors!! Stephen and I would have our fancy cameras photographing flora, fauna, wildlife & all the wonders of Gaia. And Yes we would bring kitty cat Sylvester with us! After all cannot leave our Feline Friend behind!!

May all your travel dreams come true!! Wanderlust!!

Brooklyn Botanic Gardens

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Brutal Reality

On June 25, 2016June 25, 2016 By dancingpalmtreesIn Thomas Dorsey-Take My Hand, Precious Lord, Uncategorized11 Comments

Life can be sobering. Earlier today I saw fire trucks lining the street, EMS, and heard a young woman across the street screaming. Children, teenagers and adults lined the edge of the brownstones steps. The young woman continued to scream. The EMS ran into the house with those heart paddles, then he came back out a short time later putting the life saving devices away. Obviously they were not needed. I knew the person whoever they were had died. Silence from neighbors except for the young lady who continued to scream.

Eventually someone possibly a family member took her away but I did not see them remove the body. Well a short time ago Medical Examiner/Coroner came and brought out the individual in a body bag. Living in the city death is not a new experience. I remember sometime last year I witnessed the aftermath of a horrible accident where a cyclist was killed when hit when a car and van collided and he was unfortunately in the midst. The collision was so powerful that the entire front grill of the van landed in the middle of the side several feet away. The cops had covered his body but given the amount of people who die on any given day in New York it may take hours before the body is removed.

Some insensitive people were taking photos of the scene. Now as a photographer I draw the line at photographing death, bodies or horrible accidents out of respect for the dead.

My only beef with our American Society is you are not allowed to grieve after the funeral. You are expected to go back to normal. To smile, laugh, and make jokes as though nothing had happened. People give you loads of meaningless platitudes but no compassion nor understanding. Obviously if you’re still working you must return to your job but you can never discuss your feelings or emotions. The expectation is for you to “Get Over it” despite the fact that your life has changed in an irreversible way.

I’m not one to discuss or share my emotions about the deaths of friends, family members or pets but at least others should respect my right to mourn not expect me to hit the town partying or celebrating certain holidays which they know cause pain. Since I’ve turned 50 many years ago I’ve seen and been to many funerals. The half century mark is when heart attacks, strokes and cancer begin to claim our loved ones. Some of us get lucky and escape but it does make you stop and think. Can’t say I’m afraid to die. I am afraid of pain. My parents, Aunts and others died terrible painful deaths from cancer and strokes. I do not want that to be my portion. I hope I die in my sleep in my 70s or 80s. Neither of my parents made it to 70 so if I do that will be an accomplishment.

Watching this drama play out I wonder how that person died. Was it murder, suicide, or death by misadventure (accident). My heart and prayers also go out to that young woman who was so devastated. I suppose in a week or two I’ll hear the cries of mourners and maybe see the hearse pass by. I remember when my parents died the funeral director asked me if I wanted to drive by their house one more time. This gives the deceased a chance to go home if not in the flesh but in spirit one more time. Perhaps this is an African American tradition. I’m not sure.

Then I think about my cousin Bertie (not his real name) who died right before Christmas 2014 at his home alone from cancer. I cried when my other cousin call to tell me of his passing but I had to pull myself together since like me Bertie was single and I had to find his body. Sounds strange but both Bertie and I lived in the same Brooklyn neighborhood. and when you die alone the police come, the coroner takes your body to the morgue. My mission was to locate which morgue they took him to until his elderly brother arrived from PA to identify the body. The police were very kind and considerate and the officers gave me all the information I needed to locate his body. Eventually I found out he was taken to the Brooklyn morgue. The person who answered the phone said I could come in to make the identification but I held back since he had probably lain dead for a while, decomposing.

Little did I know that Thanksgiving 2014 would be the last time Stephen and I would see Bertie alive. We both knew he was going to die. He was so weak that Stephen and I had a time getting him from New Jersey back to Brooklyn. We took him straight to his door. When we finally made it to our home Stephen did something he rarely does. He put his head on my shoulder and we just held each other. A few weeks later Bertie was dead.

Death is a great reminder that life is short and often brutal. Like my parents used to say Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Death is the great equalizer that takes the young as well as the old, the poor and the rich. Race, color, religion or nationality mean nothing to death. Whatever plans, purpose, ideas or goals you may have had will go down to the grave with you in dust. Unfinished business. Most likely never to be resurrected again. You become just a picture in a frame. A distant memory that will be forgotten as time passes. However as a Christian I know my reward lies beyond this moral veil. For then I shall be reunited with all my Loved ones in that Great Getting up Morning in Paradise.