No. Never. When I was able to drive I always made sure that I had a full tank of gas.
Which are better: black or green olives?
Neither one. Olives are too salty and I cannot eat them. High Blood Pressure. Pass the grapes or blueberries instead.
If you were a great explorer, what would you explore?
Africa. For me it would be like going home since that is where my ancestors are from. Not so much explore as it would be a Pilgrimage. Return to the Motherland. Fortunately I’ve made many friends from Africa via Blogging so I will go to Africa some day.
Quotes List: At least three of your favorite quotes?
Habakkuk 2:2
King James Version (KJV)
2 And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that reads it.
Proverbs 4:7
King James Version (KJV)
7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
And anything my parents used to say. Here are three from my Dad Edward G. Palmer:
I complained because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
Get something in your head not just on your head.
And from my Mom Mable Palmer:
If you mess up. You clean up.
God don’t like Ugly.
What goes around comes around.
Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
Grateful that today is my Birthday and God has allowed me to see another year of life. Happy to be 58!! Looking forward to my upcoming vacation starting Friday. Planning to spend time with my brother Stephen and relax.
Not every Lady from the 1950s wore corny wacky fashions during the 1950s. As you can see from the photos my Mom had great taste, was fashionably attired and was Elegance personified. Simple yet Refined. She was the cream of the crop out of all the Ladies in Dayton, Ohio. These pictures taken in Dayton, Ohio probably around 1956 at a local park.
My parents were married in December 1955 and stayed married for 40 years. Only death separated them when my Dad died in 1995 and death brought them back together in 1998 when my Dad came for his Beloved Bride.
Sometimes when I look in the mirror I can see her face within mine. Thank you Mom for carrying me for 9 months within your womb and raising me to be a responsible hard working faithful adult. I Love and Miss you dearly.
This is Well Worth a ReBlog for Black History Month Feb. 2017!! Celebrating the Women Warriors of the Civil Rights Movement!! Long Live the Revolution!!
Fannie Lou Hamer ~~ One of the Queen Mothers of The Civil Rights Movement
I know that this weekend Americans are celebrating the Birthday and Life of Martin Luther King, Jr. but I want to focus on the Mothers of the Civil Rights Movement in America. Many Americans have no idea about these great African American Women who risked life and limb for the freedoms we now all enjoy and some take for granted. They endured jail under harsh conditions and were often beaten within an inch of their lives just because they wanted to register to have the Right to Vote! Seems shocking but in terms of American History these protests, marches and speeches took place a scant 50 or 60 years ago. As I have heard some of the elders say, We Stand on the Shoulders of Giants. Fannie Lou Hamer is one of those Giants.
“God will not have his work be manifest by cowards,”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fannie Lou Hamer – “I Don’t Mind My Light Shining”
Fannie Lou Hamer – “We’re On Our Way”
Fannie Lou Hamer – “Until I am Free You are Not Free Either”
Fannie Lou Hamer : At the 1964 Democratic National Committee
As most of my readers know by now I’m not a woman who holds her tongue. I’m bold, brash, outspoken and unafraid. I call things as I see them. A Revolutionary, Activist and Outcast all wrapped into One! I’m beholden to no man save the Lord God. Real Life. Real Talk. Grown Folks speech. Where do I get my Fierceness from?
I have neither chick nor child. Thelma Palmer Varner
I’m Free, Black & 21. Edward G. Palmer
Deborah all you need to do in this life is Stay Black, pay taxes and die. Edward G. Palmer
I also remember all the stories from my mother Mable Elizabeth Palmer, Grandmother Hattie Finney Banks, Maternal Aunts Helen James and Gladys Young; Paternal Aunts Helen Palmer Garcia and Thelma Palmer Varner of what it was like to be Black during the early part of the 20th Century. Jim Crow at it’s worst. Now there is a resurgence of hatred against People of Color and those who follow faiths outside Christianity. Yes History does repeat itself. The Tea Party, Christian Identity Movement, American Nazi Party, Klu Klux Klan, Fox News are all wearing the same White hoods under their three piece designer suits.
Back in 2014 when I turned 55 I entered the Council of Elders. I take my position and responsibilities seriously. I cannot and will not stand idly by while people are persecuted, harassed and bullied simply for the color of their skin. I believe everything happens for a reason. God, the Universe, Lord, Jehovah or Creator places us in certain situations to see what we will do, how we will react and will we really Live our Christianity or whatever faith you follow. As the Bible says, Faith without works is dead.
So as the expression goes if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen! Okay So you know what’s coming next!! Get Ready!!
F.E.A.R ~~ False Evidence Appearing Real
We hide behind that Wall of Silence thinking if I’m just quiet enough I can slip under the radar. They won’t see me. I can hide and everything will be alright not knowing or not caring that Silence = Death.
We’ve become a society of trained apathetic circus clowns who when the powers that be say jump we ask how high. If we shuck and jive continually bowing down to the institution plantation head clowns. If we kiss their ass long enough perhaps we will be permitted the privilege of being allowed to slave another day.
Reduced to a mass of sniveling groveling cowards we’ve sold our birthrights for the few crumbs that drop from the Overseers table. We rant and rave against Trayvon Martin, Ferguson, Staten Island and other atrocities but back away from the injustice in our own backyards. Completely ignoring all the weapons within reach, easily at our disposal. All we have to do is pick them up use them but instead we say it’s not happening to me so I’m safe. Safe for how long? Who guarantees that you’ll magically be released at the age of 62 or now 66? There are no outside saviors. It’s you that will make a difference. Do you really think that by ignoring the cries of others that evil, harm, & wickedness won’t come your way? You’re living in a glass bubble. And why post scriptures of peace, love and redemption without acknowledging that even Jesus got angry and threw the money-changers out of the Temple. But No we mix idly among thieves, robbers, rapists, stalkers tethered to electronic mind numbing devices entranced by technological marvels ignoring the mud and filth accumulating on our clothes while building empires in the sand. Yes the brainwashing has been completed successfully and the new slave masters smile from on high.
My Grandmother Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer
My Grandfather William J. Palmer with some of his children in Mt. Morris aka Marcus Garvey Park
Today’s meeting with the Director of Stephen Residence went well. Better than expected. New Year 2017. Blank Slate. Fresh Start.
So glad I had the opportunity to speak directly one on one with the Director of QCP. I’ve known him a long time and I do trust him. I feel he values my opinion and will address my concerns regarding the clothing issues.
Gradually I’m starting to throw away my cynicism, doubts, becoming jaded and distrustful of other human beings. At one point I nearly lost faith in all humanity. We are all connected and in many ways that we don’t even realize or think about we are all connected. Not everyone is trying to throw you under the bus.
Of course like everyone I’ve had bad experiences and some horrible interactions with others and that includes my own family members but the actions of a few does not mean everyone you meet in your life will do the same thing to you. We are never really totally self-reliant. Most of us do not grow our own food or make our own clothes. So-called self-reliant Freedoms we take for granted during the peak of our youth and strength will be taken from you as old age, infirmities and disabilities settle in and become the new normal.
After my stroke at age 49 my life changed dramatically. I went through what I believe are the 7 stages of grief. For the longest I was alternately depressed and angry because I could not longer do the things I used to do like drive. My eyesight was affected by the stroke and I lost a good deal of vision in my left eye. So I cannot drive. I have difficulty reading books, signs, documents, etc…
Eventually over the last 8 years I’ve had to throw away my pride and accept help. Due to arthritis my back, legs, ankles, knees and joints no longer work the way they once did. God in his mercy has sent many rescuers to my aid but I had to drop my bad attitude, have faith and accept help. As the banks and financial institutions say, Past performance is not indicative of future results. I cannot allow my past including the abuse I suffered from men, racism, discrimination, bigotry and even some of my paternal cousins shunning me and Stephen affect my current or future interactions with people.
Back in 2012 I had several traumatic experiences. I split up with a guy whom I really cared for and had fallen in Love with but because his parents had died he had to return to the Eastern European country of his birth. It hurt. During this time period I also had a falling out with certain paternal cousins who I had cared for and supported when they fell on hard times. Yes they turned their backs on me. That really hurt because we were all raised up together. I cried. I felt abandoned. After all your family is supposed to Love you but we all know in reality that is not always the truth.
Finally I had a very strange experience while posted in a special Civil War photo exhibit. As many of you may have read in my previous blogs I had an ancestor William Henry Halstead who served as a Union Soldier. Well don’t ask me how but my Great, Great Grandfather made contact with me and I found myself in the midst of one of the battles he was in. I heard cannon fire, felt bullets whizzing by me. I heard the cries of the wounded. Their screams. I felt my Great, Great Grandfather William Henry Halstead fear and anxiety. The whole vision was unsettling.
I needed answers so I prayed to Jesus to send someone who would help me. Jesus sent me a Japanese Buddhist Lady who today has become one of my strongest friends. Guess Jesus has both a sense of humor and the knowledge/wisdom to send the right person despite that person being a different race/religion.
I can be a very difficult person yet she put up with me. Listen to my troubles. We went together to her Temple Shinnyo-en New York which I later joined. Now I’ve had my ups and downs but on Jan. 15th my Japanese girlfriend and I are going to the Main Temple located in White Plains. We will be together as Sisters. American and Japan. Buddhist and Christian.
As my mother Mable Palmer used to tell me, “Deborah you never know who you may have to call on.”
Just want to point out that when Stephen cannot do something and I ask him if he needs help he says Yes right away. I need to be more like my brother in some ways.
CHRISTMAS WRITING PROMPT #14: WRITE A LETTER TO SANTA
Dear Santa,
#1 On my Christmas Wish List ~~ My health. Remember that mini stroke I had back in November 2008. You know the one that took a good deal of the vision in my left eye. Please reverse the effects of the stroke. Heal my back and my digestive system. I’m exhausted nearly all the time and suffer from stomach problems which makes it every difficult to do anything with my brother Stephen. Eventually because of my health I will cede most of that to his Group Home Residence and his Day Treatment Center. Yes Reverse the effects of aging. I’m spending all kinds of money that I don’t have on treatments to keep the pain and tiredness at bay with little success.
Finances
I need money. Most of the time I’m barely getting by. I look at the balance in my checking account today and there is no money for Christmas. In fact my decision is whether to celebrate Christmas or to pay my rent. Santa you know which one will win unless you come through with a whole lotta cash and be quick about it. Christmas meal will most likely be canned food, PB&J, and whatever is affordable at the local bodega. Oh yes there is the Halal food truck near my job. Cheap and tasty meals.
Explain to me why Christmas does not come to the working class or the poor. Also I’m gonna need between $3K & $4K to find a safe affordable place to live or I’m be homeless this time next year. I know you don’t visit folks in the Homeless Shelters so bring me an affordable apartment in a safe neighborhood near the subway!! I have been working Double Shifts meaning 16 hour days with little or no sleep. Fix this now!!
My Brother Stephen
I Love my brother Stephen dearly but as time goes along between my health and my lack of money I realize I won’t be able to spend as much time with him as I want unless you fix requests #1 and #2. Realistically I can’t do the things I used to do. Every month simple tasks get harder and harder. However I’m glad Stephen is in a Residence because the day is coming when my health will give out and I won’t be able to be there for him. Tell me why Life is one continuous Struggle?!
Final request. Bring back all the people; family and friends I Loved and Lost over the last 25 years. Most of all bring back my parents Edward and Mable Palmer whom I desperately need. Frankly I’m sick and tired of all the fake people who tell me to be strong and keep going with out actually lifting a finger to help me. I need my Mother and Father. I need to hear their voices. I need to hug them and be close to them. Memories are not enough they don’t work! Love from afar is no good. I want them here with me because I need their help. Sick and tired of the phony folks who live in a Fairy Tale Fantasy Make-Believe world who have all the Blessings of Life who tell those of us facing disaster just to hang on when there is nothing to hang on to!!
But I remember you don’t exist and all my wishes, hopes, dreams and goals for Christmas and 2017 will most likely go up in smoke.
However if you are real and you actual read this letter:
Ever ran out of gas in your vehicle?
Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit 