Comments Apology and Thanks



I want to Thank All My Readers in Advance for their Comments.  The comments for this blog Do Not come to my email so it may take weeks for me to read and acknowledge them.  I programmed the Comments to stay in the Que because my life is so hectic and busy with the job there is no way that I can respond to anything in a timely manner. Working in a museum the Holidays are HellaDays.

The museum gets thousands of visitors. It is a blackout period for the staff so almost No days off.  Yes Christmas time might be celebration for some but as for me I’m glad it’s all over. I’m not a Christmas person. I don’t celebrate and people tend to be extremely nasty and rude during that time.  It’s like working in a Pressure Cooker.  Headaches, Stomach aches, pain = Christmas.  The last time I went to the doctor my blood pressure had rocketed skyward.  Why?  End year Holidays.

Ask anyone who works in a Customer Service position. Actually I’m sure the people in retail, department stores, transit and other fields experience that same Christmas dread. Hopefully this will be my last Holiday season and next season I will be retired. Then I can truly ignore Christmas completely and my life won’t be so screwed up. For me Christmas is like being thrown into a fiery pit with no escape.

The only thing end of year holidays due for me is to raise my blood pressure from all the stress! December is an entire month of making believe you’re happy when you’re not. Relief comes after Jan. 7th!

This blog and my writing in general is a Love/Hate relationship. How people make time to write books I’ll never understand.  Any book that I publish will most likely be a Photography book. Many times I just want to dump both the blog and the writing. That’s part of the reason I stopped and focused more on my photography.  Writing can be stressful and cathartic all at the same time.  In the future I’ll be taking more time away from this blog.  Sometimes you just need to walk away from things when they become too difficult.

Honestly I get more personal pleasure from photography than writing.  No matter how tired and exhausted work leaves me photography always rejuvenates me whereas writing requires a lot of planning and thought.  With a job like mine my brain is mush by the end of the workweek and I’m so tired and physically exhausted all I want to do is sleep.  Basically I just want to veg out and watch YouTube or Netflix. In fact I spend most weekends in bed especially now with this brutal freezing winter cold.

Eventually I do read all the comments.  However I do want you to know that I appreciate your feedback.  Sorry for the Universal response. I’d like to give each and every comment a personal response but at this time it is impossible.  Thanks for understanding.



Yves Tanguy


Are we getting rid of family items as well.  So the family is not involved. She had no immediate family and the few cousins disowned and abandoned her years ago. Did what was expected of her only to be shunned. Minus the body at least the apartment is neat and clean. Like she knew she was gonna die. Heart burst. Plus a cerebral hemorrhage. Literally died of a broken heart. Her soul died years ago just waiting for her body to follow.

After being married several years the husband suggested she should go on holiday to her birth country. About two months into her vacation her in-laws called saying maybe she should not return. Alarmed she took the next flight out homeward bound only to arrive at the house and find that her adoring husband had rented it out to a swingers club. She no longer had a home.

Never got to go to the Ashram, the Retreat, Spa or Warm Springs……….Forgotten.  Fear. Frustration. Failure. Flaws. 

asylum, cover, covert, harbor, haven, protection, refuge, sanctuary, shelter ~~ None.

For her no celebrations. No honors. No medals. No rewards. No accolades. Only a pine box. nameless. In Potters Field.

God. She must have been laying there at least two weeks. Found dead on Christmas day. Nobody ever bother to call or knock on the door. Smell alerted her neighbors. Decomposed blob. Nice Holiday gift for the Coroners office. Off to the city morgue with what’s left of this one.

Forty years ago families looked after each other. They cared about each other. Now you throw your family member into a hospital, hospice or nursing home and forget about them. Not your responsibility. After all you have your life to live. Why bother with the elderly, disabled or poor.  Nobody wants the broken and damaged. Broken toys belong in the dumpster. They mean nothing.  Crime clean will wash away the trauma.

Vanish into the mists of time.

Just remember that the cheapest coffins are hidden behind the ficus.

He left a book behind for his family. A how to book. You know Death hacks. Then he blew his brains out. Brain matter on the floor, walls and ceiling. Part of his face was found on the drapes. Kid found him. Beside him a child actor photograph of himself that a fan wanted autographed. Show ends. Reason for being ends. Purpose ends.

Six months later the wife hanged herself. Poor kid. In six months lost both parents. Only left a suicide manual. Suicide hacks.

Welcome to the Land of the Fucked.

That’s a wrap. Time to bounce. Yandy, I’m hungry. Whatta ya say we stop for a burger and fries move onto the next poor slob.






Rest in Peace David Godrey


Earlier this week I got word that another one of my co-workers was found dead in his apartment on or around Christmas day. The Christmas holidays bring on more deaths than any other season of the year. That’s one major reason I loathe the Christmas time. David had apparently been deceased for a while.

Lately quite a few single people I know have died alone in their apartments. Single people are expendable. Yes he did have family. I will say no more about that.

Dying alone is quite common especially for single people. I just hope he went quickly and did not suffer. Once again he was only in his 50s. David was a good guy, a wonderful co-worker and a nice person.  When I started at the museum David went out of his way to welcome me and make me feel comfortable. David was always cheerful, upbeat with a smile even when his life was not going so well.

As always the good people die young and the evil ones not only remain but prosper.

As a single person I shudder to think that one day this might happen to me also. But as my parents used to say, “Tomorrow is not promised to you.”

God speed David. Your suffering has ended and now you are with the Lord.



Today’s writing prompt is…









Long ago and far away when I had more people to shop for I always made a habit of getting all or at least 99% of my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving. I never understood people who wait until the last minute. That’s not me. I don’t like crowds and believe me the department stores in New York City and the surrounding suburban Malls are crowded with people who are last minute shoppers. It is like the plague of locusts converging and fighting over toys, clothes, household items etc…. Crazy!!

In this day and age of Internet Web Access Cyber Shopping is the way to go. Now as my family has considerably shrunk and I only have my brother Stephen to shop for I can find 98% of his gifts online. I tend to go with quality and trusted online stores like Land’s End. Of course now we are both in our mid-50s so Stephen likes clothes not toys. However he appreciates fun items also.  As a full-time working Woman I can order Stephen’s gifts and have them sent straight to his QCP Group Home Residence.

These last few years have been economically challenging for me but through hard work, long hours of overtime, personal sacrifice and frugal shopping I have been able to pretty much ensure that Stephen gets some gifts for Christmas. I don’t care if I have to eat Ramen Noodles for two months I’m more than happy to make changes in my lifestyle or give up things I want so Stephen can have. Stephen Vincent Palmer is the Greatest Autism Guy in the Whole Wide World!!

Here are a few photos of past Christmastimes!!!






Dear Santa,

#1 On my Christmas Wish List ~~ My health. Remember that mini stroke I had back in November 2008. You know the one that took a good deal of the vision in my left eye. Please reverse the effects of the stroke. Heal my back and my digestive system. I’m exhausted nearly all the time and suffer from stomach problems which makes it every difficult to do anything with my brother Stephen. Eventually because of my health I will cede most of that to his Group Home Residence and his Day Treatment Center. Yes Reverse the effects of aging. I’m spending all kinds of money that I don’t have on treatments to keep the pain and tiredness at bay with little success.


I need money. Most of the time I’m barely getting by. I look at the balance in my checking account today and there is no money for Christmas. In fact my decision is whether to celebrate Christmas or to pay my rent. Santa you know which one will win unless you come through with a whole lotta cash and be quick about it. Christmas meal will most likely be canned food, PB&J, and whatever is affordable at the local bodega. Oh yes there is the Halal food truck near my job. Cheap and tasty meals.

Explain to me why Christmas does not come to the working class or the poor.  Also I’m gonna need between $3K & $4K to find a safe affordable place to live or I’m be homeless this time next year. I know you don’t visit folks in the Homeless Shelters so bring me an affordable apartment in a safe neighborhood near the subway!!  I have been working Double Shifts meaning 16 hour days with little or no sleep. Fix this now!!

My Brother Stephen

I Love my brother Stephen dearly but as time goes along between my health and my lack of money I realize I won’t be able to spend as much time with him as I want unless you fix requests #1 and #2. Realistically I can’t do the things I used to do. Every month simple tasks get harder and harder.  However I’m glad Stephen is in a Residence because the day is coming when my health will give out and I won’t be able to be there for him. Tell me why Life is one continuous Struggle?!

Final request. Bring back all the people; family and friends I Loved and Lost over the last 25 years. Most of all bring back my parents Edward and Mable Palmer whom I desperately need. Frankly I’m sick and tired of all the fake people who tell me to be strong and keep going with out actually lifting a finger to help me. I need my Mother and Father. I need to hear their voices. I need to hug them and be close to them. Memories are not enough they don’t work! Love from afar is no good. I want them here with me because I need their help. Sick and tired of the phony folks who live in a Fairy Tale Fantasy Make-Believe world who have all the Blessings of Life who tell those of us facing disaster just to hang on when there is nothing to hang on to!!

But I remember you don’t exist and all my wishes, hopes, dreams and goals for Christmas and 2017 will most likely go up in smoke.

However if you are real and you actual read this letter: