Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter


 

An extremely moving talk about Rosemary Kennedy.  Please see the entire video at the bottom of this post. For whatever we think of the Kennedy’s especially Joe Kennedy I found myself listening to this talk from the perspective of parents with an intellectually/developmentally disabled child. Despite all their resources and riches the techniques, programs, services and medical care that is available today was not there in the 1920s/1930s.

In some parts of the film relate to the mother Rose Kennedy via my mother Mable Palmer. I can clearly imagine the frustration of placing your child in school after school waiting for the miracle result that never manifests even with all your wealth, power and influence.  Like the Kennedy’s our parents always impressed upon me that we must stick together. “Blood is thicker than water.”  As you know from previous posts I am very protective of my brother Stephen.   I also know and remember the stigma, shame and guilt my mother Mable Palmer went through in the 1960s/70s so it must have been even worse in the 1920s/30s.

Initially Stephen screamed. All. The. Time.  I don’t know how my mother managed. Dad went to work every day so he got a break.  After a time Stephen stopped screaming and eventually did speak but to this day he cannot carry on a conversation though he will listen to the other people around him and respond if questioned.

However my parents drew the line at any type of medical experimentation. Plus being working class obviously our parents especially our Mom were much more hands on. Daddy did take us out on the weekends so Mommy could get a break. They refused to institutionalize Stephen.

However having said that I cannot pass judgments on Joe and Rose Kennedy having Rosemary lobotomized. At that time a lobotomy was considered a cure for various types of mental illness.  I would guess they were at their wits end given Rosemary’s behavior. Sadly Rosemary Kennedy came out of the surgery totally disabled. She was the sacrificial lamb. Not a Happy Ending.  At that point in the documentary I wanted to cry.

I’m very glad that my parents did not put Stephen away into an institution. I’m grateful that Stephen and I grew up together. I remember back in 1989 when Stephen was placed into his current Group Home. Even though I was the one who worked to get him placed into a facility because my parents were becoming ill and could no longer care for Stephen, I cried the first night I came home from work and Stephen was not there running down the stairs to greet me.

Thanks to Eunice Kennedy Stephen did participate for many years in the local Special Olympics held at St. John’s University in Queens, New York.

Thank you to all the Kennedys’ who after witnessing this horrible event happen to their beloved sister worked to make things better for intellectually/developmentally disabled people today. No matter what side of the political fence you’re on without the hard work and tenacity of the Kennedy siblings we would still be in the Dark Ages of institutionalized warehousing.

See Willowbrook State School:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willowbrook_State_School

Thank you Rosemary Kennedy for being a transformation for good! God Bless you for now you reside in your Heavenly home well, happy, healthy and free!!

Thank you Lord God Jehovah for my brother Stephen Vincent Palmer. For all the progress he made in spite of the negative reports from those doctors back in 1963 when he was two years old.  God knew better because Stephen is one of His special children. Thanks to our parents who believed that Stephen could learn, who treated him just like any other child, gave him chores to do up to and including his abilities and disciplined him teaching him right from wrong so that today Stephen is a contributing member of society.  He is more than my sibling. He is my companion. My friend. My life long partner and I would never trade or ask the Heavens for a so-called “normal” sibling when I have the most perfect brother in the world!!

I Love You Stephen Vincent Palmer!!

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Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter

October Fall Foliage Walk in Central Park


 

 

Here I am the Black Fran Drescher with my nasally New York voice narrating today’s walk through Central Park.  Did not know I sounded like Fran Drescher because well, how often do we listen to the sound of our own voice?  Anyway as you listen to me narrate the joys of NYC’s Central Park know that I will never be asked to do Voice-Overs unless it’s for some type of cartoon or dorky video game!! LOL!!  🙂   😀

 

 

Stylin’ Sibs and Family!!


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/stylish/#like-249669

Stylish

Stephen and I have been Stylin’ since we were babies.  I grew up as a Girly Girl. A real Clotheshorse especially when I was younger. I had more shoes in my closet than Imelda Marcos and after I moved into my own apartment the clothes bar in my closet broke under the weight of all my outfits!  LOL!! My Dad used to joke that I had to get dressed just to put out the garbage. I think that I took after my Aunt Thelma who had those same attributes and passed them along to me!!  LOL!!

I was never much on make-up (except lip stick otherwise I look like a blank slate), fake eyelashes or fake nails but since my job requires me to be on my feet for long hours bi-monthly pedicures are a must. I do get manicures but neat, short, clean with clear polish because I still must cook, clean the house and do dishes.  Of course hair care is a must!! As you can see from my photos I’ve had every hair style know to Black People from the 60s up to and including the present. Now I color my hair. I loathe gray hair. I do not look good in gray hair and let’s not advance my age more than it is already. Getting older should not include looking like a frump or a bag lady.  Yes, Vanity Thy Name is Woman!! LOL!!

My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer who was born in the small town of Davy, WV and raised in Dayton, Ohio also Loved to dress well. Her beauty and style are what captured the heart of my Dad Edward G. Palmer.

My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer.

My Paternal Aunts Thelma Palmer Varner and Helen Palmer Garcia.

 

Stylin’ Sibs plus Dad!!

 

 

 

 

The Struggle Continues………..


 

Went for a Follow-up visit to my G.P. My doctor found my pulse and blood pressure to be normal. Gained some much needed weight. Received my Flu Shot. Made appointments with the ENT specialist and gastro specialist. Will see the ENT today to find out the cause of the clicking and popping noises in my right ear. As for the gastro he is booked until November. So must wait until then. All in all a good doctor visit. Doctor also says much of my joint pain will subside once I retire. Prolonged standing, in my case 8 to 12 hours a day is not good for anyone.

One thing I wanted to add especially for my new Followers/Subscribers is that I had a mini-stroke while at my job Nov. 2008. I was lucky in the sense that I had the stroke at work because I live alone and if I had the stroke at home I would have been dead. Unlucky in that job-related stress can either disable or kill you. Since 2008 I have had Retina Surgery and been rushed to the hospital several times for various ailments.  So far 2016 has been a good year for me just because no hospital visits or stays. However I must admit to myself I am getting older and with age come health issues.

Group Home Update

I spoke with the director of my brother Stephen’s Residence yesterday. He will conduct an inventory of his clothing and email it to me. For those of you who wonder why I don’t go there in person the reason being that I can no longer drive. That stroke I previously mentioned took much of the vision in my left eye. Stephen’s residence is not accessible either by subway or bus. The nearest bus stop is probably a mile away from the Group Home. I do not have anyone to drive me nor do I have the money or funds to hire a taxi to take me there.

Call Out

I notice from my last post about my troubles with the staff at Stephen’s group home that most of the comments were about what I should be doing. Who I should be calling, etc… Now if I could or had the power to do any of these things I would be doing them. I suppose those of you who commented meant well but put yourself in my place. I’m Alone. I have NO Support System. ALL my immediate family are DEAD!!  There are no programs/services available to full-time working Siblings that could help me.

For those of you who commented Put yourself in my place. Imagine ALL your family were deceased and I mean ALL. On top of that imagine working a low-paying job where you are barely making ends meet and your employer frowned on family leave. It is very difficult or nearly impossible for me to get time off for either Stephen or myself.  As much as I Love my brother there are things that I cannot do anymore. I need someone right here, right now, physically available who can help me. See below NY Times Article.

The New York Times did an article on my brother Stephen and me. Please take time to read this eye opening article of our lives. Thank you.
http://nyti.ms/1BktTeP

 

Between 2008 and early 2014 I actually had to go to the local Food Pantries in my neighborhood in order to eat. I’ve had to apply for government assistance even though I work hours and hours of overtime just trying to meet my needs.  In 2014 my finances got a little better for a very short period of time. I was able to eat better and actually buy some winter clothes that kept me warm. New York City has brutal winters.  Finally this year I declared Bankruptcy. Yes my finances are that bad.

As for my join pain, gastro problems and arthritis I won’t go into the lurid, nasty disgusting details but I don’t have any more sick leave because I’m always sick. There are days when I can’t get out of bed or function. There is nobody for me to call on for help. All my vacations are Staycations because I can’t afford to go anywhere and the money I do have is spent on doctors and searching for ways to alleviate chronic pain. Plus I’m tired No Not Just tired but physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Those of you who talk about my capabilities/abilities or whatever trust me I have none otherwise none of these bad things would be happening.

Of course many times when I really feel burdened I wish I had somebody to talk to but in reality that person does not exist. If they do exist please provide me with the money to get there.

My Life was not always this way. When I was younger I did not have these health problems.  For my Blog Newcomers I served my country in the military, the United States Army from Nov. 1977 – Nov. 1981, Please Don’t Thank me. I cannot eat or pay my rent with Thanks. Instead encourage Uncle Sam to be a better Uncle and provide more and better services to Women Veterans. I went to college and graduated with honors.

My downfall came partly from the economic crash the United States experienced from the time I got laid off from my good job Dec. 2006 right before Christmas and the rest from the steady decline of my health even though I never smoked, never did drugs, rarely drank and always did some moderate exercise.

It’s always easy to say what a person under extreme stress should or should not be doing but Keep in Mind You Know Neither their Story or Their Song.

Sometimes bad luck is irreversible.  Sadly in my case all the balls I’ve been trying to juggle have fallen on the floor and I can’t reach them.  All I can do is stand in wonder looking at them lying there and continue to wonder how I got to this point in Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Together ~~ Super Siblings


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/together/#like-249665

Together

Had an fabulous fantastic weekend with my brother Stephen. Yesterday we both got hair cuts from Mel the Barber who is not only a great barber but a great guy. Stephen also received a shave from Mel, a small matter as Stephen only has a goatee and mustache.  
My brother Stephen has smooth skin and really does not have much facial hair.
Stephen enjoys sitting in the back yard just relaxing. We got in our exercise walk where I stopped by an excellent store where you can get many items for low prices. Purchased underwear, undershirts, socks and slippers for Stephen.
 
Prior to his home visit this weekend I had already gotten him a spiffy hat, some Spider-Man socks and a few other items.  I also spent money on Halloween costumes for both Stephen and me. So next month Stephen will either be Spider-Man or a Knight. The only thing I forgot was to buy him a belt but I will do it later on this week.
 
Today we went to one of our favorite places the Brooklyn Museum where we explored the various exhibits. They were setting up for a Wedding so some exhibits were closed however we still had an enjoyable time together.
 
Then back onto the subway and off to Franklin Avenue for more shopping. Stephen needed a new backpack and of course Big Sister was there to fulfill his needs. Since today was pretty hot we stopped for ice cream. Then back inside home where Stephen indulged his taste for horror movies!!
 
Stephen is the reason that I work overtime. My desire is to give him the best Life possible so I will endure the pain of standing for hours on end to ensure his happiness.
You may wonder or be asking yourself doesn’t Stephen get SSI (Social Security) and a clothing allowance?  The answer to your question is Yes Stephen does received Social Security and a clothing allotment allowance.  Why he comes to my house sometimes looking like the Rag Pickers son is beyond me, however I will be having a discussion with both the Director and Manager of his group home.  I do see that they buy him some shirts, pants (that usually don’t fit well) and sneakers but I know that they can do a better job.
Anytime you live in any institutional environment there will be some theft however I am not working hours and hours of pain inducing standing overtime to supply someone else with the clothing, bags and other items I buy for Stephen on a monthly basis.
When Stephen comes over for a home visit I give him my bedroom and I crash on the sofa downstairs.  He will watch movies on my Kindle Fire while I relax or prepare meals downstairs. Stephen always had a habit of looking for me and making sure that I was close by no matter where we were but in the last few years he will done the stairs just to sit by me on the sofa. He likes to be close to me.  The Love is there and it shows. Especially since it is only the two of us. All of our immediate family have died so we both treasure our time with each other.
The Most Important thing in my Life is for us to be Together! Super Siblings Forever!! An Amazing Sibling Team for Eternity!!

Stephen Vincent Palmer ~~ An Amazing Awesome Autism Guy!!

 

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