Abs-Solution


Abs-Solution

Sometime around my 52nd Birthday Alien Body Snatchers had taken my normal hour glass figure and slowly began to replace it with a blobbity blob formless mass. I made the excuse that I was becoming Rubenesque like the paintings in the European Paintings section of the museum. Well that was a poor excuse since I’m living in the 21st Century and not the 15th, 16th or 17th Centuries!

The Old Age beings from an alternate universe and/or dimensions even had the nerve and audacity to hijack my salt & pepper hair leaving just the salt with no pepper!! My hair had literally turned white overnight!!

My Avatar ~ Cat Woman
My Avatar ~ Cat Woman

I even noticed that my formerly Michelle Obama perfect upper arms were beginning to exhibit turkey wing traits!!  Ugh!! No!!  I will never wear the dolmen sleeves! Evil age inducing extraterrestrials’!! Right then and then I made the choice to reclaim my body.

That middle-age spare tire mocked the belly button piercing I had gotten to commemorate my 50th Birthday in 2009! Yes I have and love my Tattoos and piercings. No I’m not going through some middle-age crisis.  I consider my body a living canvas and decorate it accordingly. Why should I turn down my self expression?  From the Funky 40s all the way to my Fabulous 50s Body Art is the Way to Go!!

 Turn Down For What?   http://youtu.be/gzi3gxg062c

Made the decision to return to the Summer of 42 not 1942 because I was not born or even thought of that year but Age 42 when I was at my physical peak.

I began my unofficial exercise program on Halloween my favorite holiday and my New Birth. Ramped it up in November 2013. I had the good fortune to be invited to a number of Birthday and Holiday parties in November and December and naturally I was on the dance floor at every party! Doing all these regular party favorite dances requires agility and endurance. That’s a workout within itself! Thanks to the Help, Encouragement & Support of two very good friends Matt Velez and Hadiiya Barbel I made my official entry into the Fab Abs Waist Wellness By Hadiiya Barbel program!! Hooray!!

Year of the Tiger!
Halloween 2013 ~ Year of the Tiger!!

Two Major Benefits that I noticed right off the bat were my back pain was 95% gone and no colds or infections since I began the Ab programs. So Dancing is great but Planking, Crunches/Sit-ups, Leg Lifts, Lunges, Stretches, Squats, and Jumping Jacks are even better. As with any exercise program I modify it to meet my needs. I know I have arthritis and bad knees so I do as much as I can but I try to up the ante every day. It’s not really a Challenge if you can’t increase your reps but I do my increases gradually and slowly. I feel that by the end of next month Feb or early March I should have Fab Abs. No New Years resolutions but achievable Fitness Goals!!

Alright now Family Let’s Get it Gangnam Style!!http://youtu.be/60MQ3AG1c8o

The Belly Beautiful shall Reign Again!!

 

To all my Abolicious SisterGirlFriends ~ Thanks for Inspiring me to the path of Health and Wellness!! Here’s to an Abtastic 2014!!

Cha Cha Slide Ladies!!

http://youtu.be/cb6pJ4AEOoI

 

December 2013 Party Time
December 2013 Party Time

 

Red Hair!! Red Lips!! A Fiery Spirit Blazes into 2014!!

 

Reflections from the Woman with the Skinny Legs


Reflections from the Woman with the Skinny Legs

One Thin Woman’s Hopeful Journey towards Cultural Acceptance

Skinny Legs And All – Joe Tex (Dial)1967

As a Black Woman who has been called skinny, bony, stick lady, po’ and various other negative names for years. I can understand wanting to fit in. I’ve actually had women especially Black women come up to me and tell me they hate me or call me some nasty names I won’t repeat. I remember gaining a lot of weight when I was in my 40s due to taking anti-depressants. Believe it or not I received tons of compliments from my African American co-workers.

Prior to my forties, when I was a young woman working in an office, co-workers would leave all types of cookies, cakes, snacks, even cans of Ensure telling me in a not so subtle way that I needed these foods to “fatten up” and become an accepted member of the tribe.  If my weight suddenly ballooned to 195 lbs, something that is genetically impossible for me, but if those numbers did rise would my Black Woman Membership card arrive in the mail?

Right before I started work at my present job I stopped taking the anti-depressants. Of course I lost the weight. Sadness. Bullying from some female co-workers. One brother told me I had a body like a white woman. Someone else said I looked Asian. I love my Caucasian and Asian Sisters but like anyone else I want to be accepted by my own community. I want to fit in.  Devastated. I cried myself to sleep many nights. I even tried to explain to my female co-workers that my thinness was due to genetics, which is true. My mother Mable Palmer never weighed more than 95 lbs in her life even after having kids.

BTW my mother had diabetes as does most of my family on my mother side. Many of my cousins my around my age, (I’m 54) have died from the disease. I had my own brush with death November 7, 2008 when I was rushed to the hospital from my job for extreme high blood pressure. To show you how brainwashed I was as I lay on the hospital gurney in the emergency hooked to a machine monitoring my pressure, my life passing before my eyes, I looked down at my thighs and felt shame because I was so thin!

Like most women I look like my mother. I carry her DNA.  Also since I have high blood pressure I can no longer eat certain foods so that prevents me from gaining additional weight. I weigh about 117 or 120 depending. Am I a fat basher? No because I know from firsthand experience just how sensitive weight issues and the ensuing insults or assumptions can be. I want to know how my weight got to be a determination of how Black I am or how womanly I am.

Does everything depend on the size of a woman’s breasts or butt?  Have I been banished to a leper colony of neo-Blackness? Is a woman not more than her body? When do we stop promoting the superficial and concentrate on substance.  Sometimes I think my body type has made me an outcast. Does the fact that I’m slim make mean my membership in the African race has been revoked?

Eye of the Beholder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t5qwyWl0xw&feature=colike

I’m not handing in my Black card just because my facial features and body structure are considered all wrong. Oh by the way does my dark skin and nappy hair get me reinstated to the Land of Negritude? Define Blackness! Does it not run deeper than the outside package?

Finally I confided in one of the African American supervisors what I was going through. He reassured me I looked fine and said I looked good. He explained to me that some of the females at our workplace were jealous.

Then after 50 I started gaining a little weight. Thank you Menopause for helping me enter the realm of semi-Rubenesque. I was received back into the fold, somewhat but I still get those funny looks and comments not only at work but even within my own ‘hood.’

Books with titles like “Skinny Women are Evil” do not help the situation. I hate that our patriarchal society has pitted one group of women against others even within our own race. So if I was stacked, voluptuous, a “brick house” would I then hear the Gooble Gobble song.

One of Us – We Accept Her

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C4uTEEOJlM&feature=colike

Squats
Squats

Okay you know that I was intrigued by this picture. Anything to add curves to my stick frame. I looked up Squat videos on YouTube and found one that “Looked easy.” Not!! As I was doing the squats I could hear my knees Snap, Crackle & Pop more than a bowl of Rice Krispies. Maybe I should forget the Donkey Booty and just stay a “Black Twiggy!”

This is a Squat video by a Colombian Sister. Really now it would just be much easier to be reincarnated into her body!! LOL!! OMG!! Isn’t there an easier way to snag a husband? If I click my heels together 3 times will my stomach fat move downward towards my butt or upward to my boobs?! Dang my knees are creaky and clicking more than Savion Glover tap dancing!

Still trying to return to the Summer of 42. Not 1942 because I wasn’t yet born but age 42 when I had a nice hourglass figure. So I’ve been planking since Dec. 1st and now I will add Squats to my program. Let’s see if all this exercise results in romance when I turn 55 in Feb.

http://youtu.be/xK9jzjsTJts

I considered using one of my cats as weights but they would not cooperate and thought the better of that idea. Leave sleeping kitties lying on the bed. My cats already think I’m crazy for Planking. Now every morning Sylvester and Weezer take up a position in the Living Room watching me make a fool of myself and sometimes rubbing their little furry faces against mine.

The Journey Towards Self-Acceptance Continues

Battle of the Bulge~Relationships Grown Folks Style


My Avatar ~ Cat Woman
My Avatar ~ Cat Woman

Mature Grown Folks Relationship Observations for those 45+  

I’ve had the opportunity to explore every wing of my museum. I especially look for depictions of women in various societies and time periods. There is nothing more beautiful than the female nude. In every culture, Africa, Greek & Roman, European: 13-18 centuries and in 19th Century Art nearly every beautiful woman painted or sculpted has a small belly, a roundness in the tummy area.

Rubenesque as defined by the Urban Dictionary: Applied to a woman who has similar proportions to those in paintings by the Flemish painter Peter Paul Ruben; attractively plump; a woman who is alluring or pretty but without the waif-like body or athletic build presently common in media.

Every magazine, every newspaper, TV, the movies and of course the Internet screams at women to have that perfect body at any age. No you must have that movie star body so all the men will fall at your feet, regardless of the fact that most TV and Film stars have more failed relationships than anyone else.Before the exercise craze of the 20th Century it was okay for a woman to have a slight belly bulge. In fact not only were curves a sign of beauty but a sign you were getting enough to eat! Now the competition is on about who can have the flattest stomach or that infamous 6-pack. When I was growing up in the 60s a six-pack was a beer. Sure if you drank too many of them you took the risk of looking like you were about to give birth to a Budweiser but most folks drank on weekends. However I digress.

So much for exercise helping the “Beautiful People” stay married! This fixation with bodily perfection also has fat, balding middle-aged men, who probably need Viagra to get the job done searching desperately for Victoria’s Secret models. Like most women my weight fluctuates. Now I’ll never be very big because my mother was a small woman, (Jada Pinkett in size not looks) but yes I do have that middle-age gut. Why? I don’t really know. Maybe having an expanding middle was or is an outcome of menopause. At first it really bothered me. I’m no exercise freak but I do my walking and sometimes I’ll do sit-ups but truthfully I hate sit-ups! I can honestly say I look pretty good for my age. I’m well preserved but I’m not a card-carrying member of the fitness craze.  Went through all that while I was in the Army and since I no longer have a Drill Sgt breathing down my neck I no longer fear those 6 am 6 mile runs in full gear.

To paraphrase the Holy Bible, the grass withers and the flower fades but a Woman of God endures forever. Now I can cook and clean with the best of them but I’m never going to look the way I did in my 20s, 30s or 40s. So guys if you’re looking for a Proverbs 31:10-31 Woman I’m here. If you’re looking for Bay Watch babes, well keep looking and let me know how that works out for you. Peace.

Oh yeah….Jelly Belly I Love you!

AABR_HALLOWEEN_20115