Voice Over
Listen to my voice. Listen to the sound of my voice intoned the old Victrola.
- Ecstasy, Passion — A Holy Orgasmic Release.
Category: African Goddess
Ebony Dark Chocolate Dreams ~ The Ultimate Orgasm
Ebony Dark Chocolate Dreams
His touch is Midnight seeping into my pores, saturating my veins and arteries, enveloping my very being. New galaxies are born when I am in his arms.
His voice is Throbbing Black Strap Molasses, Obsidian Opal honey dripped scented pleasure and I am a sponge absorbing every drop of honey syrup anointing. His pulsations become part of my being and we are in rhythmic unison.
Images of him undulate over a winding path from brain to heart. Match ignites flame causing trails of hot candle wax to slip into my peaks and valleys. We are a perfect coupling Symbiosis. We dissolve into the misty morning dawn, daybreak quenched fires, smoldering dreamily fantasy future liaisons.
In Praise of Darker Hues
I’m very glad that Lupita Nyong’o was voted World’s Most Beautiful Woman! So proud to see a Dark Skinned Sister Honored in this Fashion.
I read her Oscar Acceptance speech reprinted in Essence Magazine. It certainly resonated with me. Even though I’m 25 years older than her and was raised in New York City I can still hear the taunts of “Tar Baby”, monkey, Black African (Black was not Beautiful in the 1960s) from my school-mates on the playground. Watu Wasuri Use Afro Sheen came much later in late 1970s. Still light skin was in. There was a saying I heard many times growing up, “If you’re light, you’re alright. If you’re brown still around. If you’re black get back.” From straightening combs to weaves the Self-hatred becomes internalized.
Weaves looking like Davy Crockett hats perched atop uneasy heads marching LocKstep with conformity. Multi-hued raccoons skipping across Jungle Fever Brows missing nesting material in which to snuggle Eurocentric brainwashing.
Even when I went into the U.S. Army my always thick, kinky and Knappy was called a Brillo pad. I was always made to feel so ugly usually by my own Black people. I expected whites to call me the “N” Word after all this was the 1960s and my parents who knew Jim Crow by heart prepared me for rejection as a Black girl in a white dominated society. In a way I was very surprised to hear that in a Black dominated/ruled society/country such as Kenya young Lupita experienced similar taunts, jibes and insults.
Many times I would come home from school crying. I hated my skin color and my hair texture. My father tried to soothe my broken spirit and build my self confidence by telling me, “The Blacker the Berry the sweeter the juice. If the berry’s too light it has no use.” I did feel better for a while but it was not until I was well past age 40 that I began to really appreciate being dark-skinned with coarse thick hair. For one thing now that I’m well past 50 all this wonderful melanin truly means, “Black Don’t Crack”. As for my hair menopause has removed the thick & coarse texture but I’m proud to wear my hair natural since age 36. Over the years there were times when I battled a Eurocentric mindset but as I journey through middle-age and beyond I embrace and am one with my African heritage.
Yes Ladies, “Say it Loud! I’m Black and I’m Proud!”
Abs-Solution
Abs-Solution
Sometime around my 52nd Birthday Alien Body Snatchers had taken my normal hour glass figure and slowly began to replace it with a blobbity blob formless mass. I made the excuse that I was becoming Rubenesque like the paintings in the European Paintings section of the museum. Well that was a poor excuse since I’m living in the 21st Century and not the 15th, 16th or 17th Centuries!
The Old Age beings from an alternate universe and/or dimensions even had the nerve and audacity to hijack my salt & pepper hair leaving just the salt with no pepper!! My hair had literally turned white overnight!!
I even noticed that my formerly Michelle Obama perfect upper arms were beginning to exhibit turkey wing traits!! Ugh!! No!! I will never wear the dolmen sleeves! Evil age inducing extraterrestrials’!! Right then and then I made the choice to reclaim my body.
That middle-age spare tire mocked the belly button piercing I had gotten to commemorate my 50th Birthday in 2009! Yes I have and love my Tattoos and piercings. No I’m not going through some middle-age crisis. I consider my body a living canvas and decorate it accordingly. Why should I turn down my self expression? From the Funky 40s all the way to my Fabulous 50s Body Art is the Way to Go!!
Turn Down For What? http://youtu.be/gzi3gxg062c
Made the decision to return to the Summer of 42 not 1942 because I was not born or even thought of that year but Age 42 when I was at my physical peak.
I began my unofficial exercise program on Halloween my favorite holiday and my New Birth. Ramped it up in November 2013. I had the good fortune to be invited to a number of Birthday and Holiday parties in November and December and naturally I was on the dance floor at every party! Doing all these regular party favorite dances requires agility and endurance. That’s a workout within itself! Thanks to the Help, Encouragement & Support of two very good friends Matt Velez and Hadiiya Barbel I made my official entry into the Fab Abs Waist Wellness By Hadiiya Barbel program!! Hooray!!
Two Major Benefits that I noticed right off the bat were my back pain was 95% gone and no colds or infections since I began the Ab programs. So Dancing is great but Planking, Crunches/Sit-ups, Leg Lifts, Lunges, Stretches, Squats, and Jumping Jacks are even better. As with any exercise program I modify it to meet my needs. I know I have arthritis and bad knees so I do as much as I can but I try to up the ante every day. It’s not really a Challenge if you can’t increase your reps but I do my increases gradually and slowly. I feel that by the end of next month Feb or early March I should have Fab Abs. No New Years resolutions but achievable Fitness Goals!!
Alright now Family Let’s Get it Gangnam Style!!http://youtu.be/60MQ3AG1c8o
The Belly Beautiful shall Reign Again!!
To all my Abolicious SisterGirlFriends ~ Thanks for Inspiring me to the path of Health and Wellness!! Here’s to an Abtastic 2014!!
Cha Cha Slide Ladies!!
Red Hair!! Red Lips!! A Fiery Spirit Blazes into 2014!!
Not Looking for Mr. Goodbar and Why I Refuse to Play the Relationship Game
Not Looking for Mr. Goodbar and Why I Refuse to Play the Relationship Game
Me, Myself and I
Long ago and far away when I was in my 20’s and 30’s my Aunts on both my mother’s and father’s side were on my back about being married despite the fact that nearly all of them were either divorced or separated. I can still hear their voices, “Deborah you need to learn how to cook so you can get a husband.” All my Aunts on both sides were good cooks yet none were with their husbands! It got to the point that when my maternal grandmother Hattie Banks passed away in 1990 the aunt my grandmother had lived with introduced me to my grandmother’s Pastor as my 31 year old single niece from New York. This caused my grandmother’s Pastor great concern and he asked to speak to me privately. He began to question me concerning my singleness. After a while I figured out he was trying to ascertain as to whether or not I was a lesbian! I assured him that No I was not gay just had not met the right person. Now over twenty years later I realize his fears and opinions reflect a lot about people born and raised in the 1900’s within the confines of rigid Baptist teachings.
Fast forward to 2007 when my abuser finally left me and I finally felt free to confide in certain females whom I thought were my friends. I found that to be a big mistake. Women often don’t support other women who have been through the wringer. Too much Blame the Victim mentality out there. Then there is the other side of the coin with women pushing newly single women back into the shark infested waters of the dating game. Amazing how many insensitive and snarky comments I received about either not wanting to date or taking a break from dating.
I’ve had close friends yell and scream at me for my decision not to date. As a result I’ve had to ask these girlfriends not to bring up that topic. All the while I listen to them whine, moan, bitch and complain about what the latest boyfriend is doing to them. These women imagine there is a Mr. Right for everyone or that I’d want that person. They’ve bought into the mentality that a Woman is not complete without a man. They are brainwashed with that fantasy of John and Martha running to each other’s open arms on white sand beaches or in a meadow filled with fragrant flowers and four leaf clovers.
I do not lack male attention. As one of my supervisors at work likes to say, Ms. Palmer you have many admirers. Trust me when I say I wish many of them would find some other woman to admire. Whether on the job or in my neighborhood I’m always polite and mannerly but I always keep things platonic and on the friends side of the relationship spectrum.
I do admit that since the break-up with my ex- and during the few times I’ve dated since then I’ve engaged in battles of self-hatred self-destruction. I was participating in an online group for Domestic Violence Survivors. I was really saddened to see how emotionally bankrupt many of the women were.
Because so many years have passed since I was delivered from my Ex- I was able to be a source of encouragement to women still suffering. A few Friended me or Subscribe to my page and my goal is to offer strategies towards wholeness yet still revealing my struggles and vulnerabilities. Being an Overcomer or Victorious does not mean you’re not going to have bad times but you’d do not dwell within those bad episodes.
No matter how many compliments I receive about how much I have to offer a man and how beautiful and wonderful I am that does nothing for my inner healing. Sounds like I have nothing to offer outside of being with a guy.
Those remarks may or may not be true but that type thinking is missing the point and counter-productive. No matter how well-meaning or well intentioned those remarks may be THE POINT IS, I’m Not Ready and it may be months or years before I am ready. Right now for me the relationship waltz is an emotionally crippling dance. Also I want to concentrate on Me, Myself and I. I’m not to the point where I’m ready to make an investment in a relationship. I Love being an Autonomous, Free and Independent Woman.
Oh yes for those wondering if I still have a sex drive the answer is Yes but menopause has put a damper on it and I no longer feel compelled to satisfy that urge. Truthfully most days I’m just not interested in sex and for the times I am I learned to control myself. Also I made the decision to remain celibate and there are few if any men who can make me change my mind.
My life is not the Black remake of Eat, Pray, Love but more like Having our Say by the Delaney Sisters. The Joys of Singlehood. Can’t even tell you how many miserable married women I know. Constant refrain of, DeBorah I wish I was single like you! Proof that marriage is not all it’s cracked up to be.
And yes I’ve read all the relationship books written by men on what women are doing wrong and how they can better please the men they want in their lives or who are currently in their lives. While other women frantically put desperate profiles on various on-line dating services, engage in speed-dating at the local recreation center, join the singles ministry at church or buy tickets and expensive clothes for silly singles cruises, I’ll be at home comfortable chilling with a good book and drinking a Smirnoff Ice.
Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit 