Splinter Stories from the Hardware Store
Piercing The Celluloid Cloud to See God
“Hanesberry-SeaTek Soul Manufacturing Corporation. Celestial to Terrestrial. Haberdashery from the spirit world!”
Ms. Zazu, Welcome aboard! Enjoy the Orientation experience!
On the surface Peabody appeared to be a simple plain milquetoast rather nondescript man but when he opened his mouth the gift of gab was on display. Peabody was also Blessed to have deep soulful purple sapphire eyes. Reflective orbs that looked inward as well as outward causing those on the tour to melt like satin soft velvet. Eyes that could lift your immortal soul from its corporeal casements.
A uniquely and slightly disturbing feature in a soul system seller. A step up I suppose from the fat pomaded bejeweled thugs who had infiltrated this business making it more sinful than saintly. Pompous puffed up killer penguins. Wise guys of the underworld operating from the abyss.
“Follow me down this hallway as we move forward, outward, onward and upward!”
Entranced by this expressive enthralling yet off putting man Zazu dutifully followed him through the hallway into and through mystical doorways.
Yes Zazu, we have souls in all shapes, sizes and consistencies. Bilious, Ethereal, Foggy, Ghostly, Glazed, Nebulous, Murky, Musty, Cloudy, Misty, transparent, translucent, Reflective, Shadowy, shady, Hazy, Ambiguous, dark, light. We can even project them through our magnificent stained glass infinity mirrors which provide a kaleidoscope of past and present.
Applicants possessing familial ancestor cards are in luck because they can keep the incarnations of soul splicing within the realm of genetic memory and DNA connectors. Names are a good reference point but if the name of the ancestor is unknown or long forgotten an image or likeness is perfectly acceptable.
Parents provide the body, location and genetic format. We provide the soul. Each person gets their own unique soul even twins, triples and multiples. However Multiples retain certain connective arterial junctions and junctures, trails and pathways that remain unbroken with each incarnation.
The Souls are kept in their respective receptacles until the requester is matched with a suitable or persistent donor. Most soul donors go through many cycles due to being dissatisfied with either the body that selected them or the family castaway dynamics they were thrust into.
Depending on your selection based on DNA and genetics we can even provide slightly used recycled souls aka “Old Souls” reconstituted into fresh new bundles of Joy. Or if you or a family members prefer we can take a soul or a myriad of souls from different cultures, natures, traditions and belief systems to incorporate them into a chubby weeping, wailing crying gurgling humanoid that any advanced primate would be proud to shelter and raise.
We can even tweak the time space continuum allowing souls to move backward in the earthly time line but never forward. Our time travel option is somewhat limited. Sometimes souls are born out of time or into a time period where they don’t fit in but Heck we guaranteed souls not the sentient being into which they might find themselves.
Sometimes we get requests for souls of fictional creations both literary and cinematic. This presents a challenge but we aim to please therefore we compile an adjusted tweaked reorganized compilation of characteristics as given from the fictional characters original creator.
Certain Soul requests derive from magical mystical oral tales passed from generation to generation for them we require the services of the Pegasus Unicorn. The majestic beasts although riderless are equipped with invisible saddle packet pockets on either side in which to place the mystic dinosaur eggs plucked directly from the Akashic Library. The Akashic Library Records cover all cultures, countries, nations, rites/rituals, traditions, tribes and spiritual belief systems.
We get lots of requests for the souls or rather the soul characteristics of many famous Hollywood actors, actresses, singers, entertainers, sports figures, dancers, etc… However we try to discourage these choices as souls coming from those professions have fame, money and good looks but rarely any real self-confidence or inner peace.
Those requests are more costly as they often entail an ending filled with tricked out hearses driven by teams of decked out Pegasus Unicorns. Soul transportation and transfiguration does not come cheap on any level or in any stage. Hollywood, TV and movies stars plus sports figures take on mythical proportions that even death cannot seem to dispel. In fact the longer they lay a moldering in the grave the more fanciful and larger gains of illusion and delusion .
Often they are quite vain, ill-tempered and once they reach the desired fame factor they tend to develop a sense of entitlement. Little realizing the public often has the last word. They flare up bright and fast but burn out quickly much to the consternation of the customer occupying that particular flesh container. The Live Fast and die Young crowd are mostly likely to wind up snuffed out like a candle in a strong wind.
Big problem with the Muses, the Fates and the Three Graces over when to and how much or how often to Bless them with intelligence, talent, beauty and grace plus when to cut the umbilical cord.
Mr. Peabody kept up a brisk pace causing me to break into a quick canter which came to an abrupt end when he unexpectedly stopped short. Plain Mr. Peabody transformed becoming regal with perfect bright white shiny teeth that beamed a blinding smile, dark polished hair embodying a sleaze bag kind of look that took me by surprise. A Suave Sophisticated Patent Leather Elegant Lover who made the sweat roll down my back and between my butt cheeks. Oh What Debonair can do. It elicits root feelings once thought left behind.
Turning slowly his melodic eyes held mine but for a brief time that threatened to edge into eternity whilst he explained that evil, wicked, demonic souls become wandering disembodied entities seeking spiritual empty flesh houses, obese lusty grey rats or cockroaches.
Svengali Serpentine spell interruption. Inner force field between us broken. Or was it just punctured? Who knows? I certainly don’t?
Stella By Starlight