Truth Excellence Not Perfection. My whole world was challenged last week when I wound up getting hit in my left eye, the same eye I had retina surgery on back in Jan. 2010 while on the job. It was an accident and I don’t blame my co-workers. Accidents do happen. I wound up in Lenox Hill Hospital. I briefly tried returning to work on Tuesday but that did not work out well.
The eye throbbed in pain. I had headaches. Thursday in Urgent Care. Of course during this entire fiasco I was angry. I was upset. Probably alienated people but I had to go through those stages. There had to be a Time of Mourning as it says in the book of Ecclesiastes A time to mourn, a time to cry. A time of grief. A time of sorrow. They have to be experienced before any healing can begin. Good Friday is coming up soon. Even Jesus experienced frustration, sadness, grief and sorrow. Jesus cried out, “My God! My God! Why have you Forsaken Me? If Jesus has feelings and emotions so can I.
I kept asking God Why Me? Cried a lot from both physical and emotional pain. However since it happened at work I’m eligible for Workman’s comp and FMLA. It is possible I might have to get more surgery on that eye. I must admit that I was really depressed. Anxiety. Panic attacks. The whole nine yards. I did wallow in that depression for several days but vision loss is a loss ~~ a type of death ~~ farewell from what was known or expected to the unknown and unexpected. Currently I can only see colors, shapes, light and dark out of my left eye. Even with the glasses. I’ve been going through a type of grief. Yesterday Saturday, I chose to throw myself into my art. Creating my mixed media photo/picture collages. The human mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. It helped.
Last night I got absolutely No Sleep. I mean None! I just tossed, turned and wandered the house all night. However finally God lead me to YouTube videos by young women who had either gone blind in one eye or for reasons of disease had to have one eye removed. I was moved by their testimonies. Given my ocular occlusion in Nov. 2008 the vision in my Left eye had been compromised anyway. Actually even though I received regular Laser Treatments all of 2009 basically all I saw in my Left eye was black. Not even light and dark. Surgery did allow the light and colors in. There will probably be more eye surgery in my future. Not something I look forward to but it is what it is.
The blood vessels that attach the retina were damaged however I gained back some sight through surgery and special prescription lenses. That ended Sunday, March 18th when I got bashed in the left eye. Now everything is a blur. Muddy. Like looking through gauze. However better wonky vision than no vision at all!
Realizing that it was Palm Sunday I made up my mind to attend Palm Sunday services at a nearby church one I had attended and enjoyed in the past. The Sisters were so kind and welcoming. When the Pastor preached on Jesus triumphant entry into Jerusalem riding on a donkey and the choir singing Hosanna Blessed is the Rock of My Salvation.
It’s Holy Week or Passion Week. Most important than my earthly situation is Jesus sacrifice on the Cross. This week is the most important for many Christians. My Choice is to focus on Jesus and the Bible.
One lyric is O’ Magnify the Lord. For He is Worthy to be Praised. Then It dawned on me. I could either Magnify the Lord or I could magnify the circumstances. For God is God no matter if I see again out of that Left eye or the Lord chooses to heal me. As Gladys Knight sang, “You Gotta Make the Best of a Bad Situation.
I felt uplifted. I feel I can move forward no matter what lies ahead.
I am Not an Object of Pity!
I do apologize for the length of this testimony.
My Art ~~ I can still be a Visual Artist with only one working eye
Sylvester having a great time with my Palm Fronds. Can’t lose that sense of humor
The Orange one is a work in progress not yet finished.
Pinky: “Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”
The Brain: “The same thing we do every night, Pinky—try to take over the world!”