Cynthia is 100% Correct. So many times others have tried to shame or guilt me into accepting abusive behavior or said the abuse was my fault. Tired of having my feelings negated or being forced into a fake happiness.
From the narcissists’ flying monkeys to even the most well meaning of people, people like to tell victims of narcissistic abuse how to feel.
- “You’re too negative. You need to be more positive.”
- “You need to let that go/get over it.”
- “Aren’t you over that yet?”
- “You need to forgive & forget.”
- “You shouldn’t have let them abuse you.”
- “You need to stop thinking about it.”
- “You haven’t prayed enough.”
Early in healing, such statements add to the toxic shame you already feel stemming from the abuse. You feel ashamed of yourself for not being over it, not forgiving your abuser & forgetting their awful deeds or being so “negative.”
Later in your healing, after you’ve gained some wisdom & experience, such comments really just get under your skin. You know that there is no way to “just get over” the horrible things that have been done to you. It…
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