Anger Mgmt 101


 

Today at work I had a good laugh. One of the male security guards actually went to one of our Lady Shop Stewards to complain that his feelings were hurt because I stop speaking to him. I nearly burst out laughing but I managed to contain my chuckles because dickhead knew very well why I stopped speaking to him.

After a prior incident where he not only insulted me but had nerve to do it in front of the visitors well I blasted him good. My initials stand for Don’t Play. This is a job where we are required to be professional. If you got beef with me you need to talk to me in private not in front of the general public.  I warned him then and there that I don’t know who you think you’re talking to but you picked the wrong one. Unfortunately if you work in a department that’s mostly male you’re gonna have men who challenge you or attempt to intimidate you.

I don’t do challenge or intimidation. Just because you’re a man does not make you better or smarter than me. Since his dumb ass is not a supervisor you need to watch what you say to me. Even if you are a supervisor if you talk out of turn I’m gonna speak up for myself.

I’m one that once you mess with me unless you apologize I’m not forgiving you. Fuck Forgiveness. Fuck Feelings. Wrong Female. I don’t owe you anything. There is No Love nor Light. The only Light you will get from me is when I Light your ass up! And that’s not a Light you want to experience. I Do Not Tolerate any disrespect from anybody. It’s that simple!!

Mable and Edward Palmer did not raise me to be a doormat. In fact my parents told me not to take crap off anyone and that I had a right to defend myself.

LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out

Mr. Angry Asshole had offended several co-workers and many stopped talking to him. Many years ago he was demoted from a higher security position because of his temper. His anger has gotten the better of him to the point that he has had several heart attacks. At least one on the premises and he is not even 50 years old!

I think he feels I should and I must converse with him because we are both Veterans. Well I’m a Veteran all he is and was what we in the Military call Weekend Warriors. Meaning he was in the Reserves. One weekend out of the month and two weeks out of the year of actual service. I was in four years full-time, 24/7/365.

Just to show you how truly nasty Mr. Numb-nuts is we have a gentleman who is also a security officer who served bravely during the Vietnam War. This wonderful man actually saw action. He suffers from PTSD but goes out of his way to be extra nice to all our co-workers. He is a pleasure to work with. He follows the Catholic faith always with his prayer beads and follows Jesus teachings. Everyone Loves him.  Except one person. Guess who? You guessed right! Private Jackass.  The Lumpy Paleface Lunatic actually had the nerve to badmouth a great man who went through the trauma of seeing people killed and trying to save the lives of wounded soldiers (he was a medic).

As for Knucklehead most of the guards try to avoid him. He has very few friends. Not many will put up with his rude, nasty, sarcastic remarks. I’m all for humor, cracking jokes and laughter but making fun of people, insults, lack of proper communication skills and zero people skills are not acceptable.

I have not guilt nor shame in cutting ties with abusive co-workers.  That person does not write my checks nor are they paying my bills. Forgive and Forget don’t work here.  I will dismiss you and keep on stepping. I have no shame in my game.

I AM THE FEMALE PHENOMENON!!  THE ORIGINAL NUBIAN NINJA!!

The Notorious D.A.P. has spoken!!

Phenomenon – LL Cool J

https://youtu.be/Rq4TDpa1zF0

 

 

Moral of the Story: Don’t Let your mouth write checks that your ass can’t cash!!

Toss Ups among Jitterbugging Japes


Toss ups among Jitterbugging Japes

A PASTOR? OMG what a dirt bag. He drinks booze, probably smokes dope, lives in sin with a woman who isn’t his wife. For regular people NOT in the thug life, in order to murder someone in cold blood, you gotta be on some kinda high octane drugs that give courage required to follow through with heinous acts of vengeance filled violence. And don’t get me started on his skanky wife.  Down in the Lower Level we call her a ‘toss up’, ya know some female who throws her legs up in the air, and doesn’t care whose bed they land in. These days’ pew warmers can be some of the MOST amoral people around. Cold blooded Son of a Bitch. Need another shower after watching and listening to this sadistic drivel.

Love,

Caleb

She shall bear fruit in the time of seed not in the time of man.

I’m shaking like a tree in a hurricane.

Cynthia and Jerry got a message for Harry.

 

Mungo Jerry

https://youtu.be/wvUQcnfwUUM

 

Charnel House Wikipedia
Charnel House
Wikipedia

We were enveloped in the sweet Smokey darkness of a sultry summer night. Taking nocturnal strolls over graveyards filled with the illicit offspring of priests and nuns.  Seedlings of the new reforms.  Corpses a series of japes littering the landscape with embryonic fantasy dreams. A Feast of Flesh for maggots and worms.  Chaos and terror. Blood everywhere.  Odor of lingering 12 day ferment piss hang languishing in the stagnant atmosphere.

Leave no ghost upturned for there are barnacles affixed to near Charnel House ringed with concertina wire.

I see voices on the trench bottom questioning me on ways of escape.  I find myself sinking in quicksand people with their backs to me on the periphery.

Soils of different waters tell eat and drink stories whilst jettisoned troubadours poison their listeners with liquid gold.

Svengalis’ in full regalia present alien babies ready for baptism.

My apocalypse is the squalor of an unkempt mind.

 

 

 

 

Black Unicorn Rising

Alice’s Wonderland Deconstructed


Life as a Void Consisting of Only Time and Eternity

Black Unicorn Rising

An exploration of Emptiness, Nothingness, Inner and Outer spheres/realms of being

Do women occupy the inner sphere/sanctum of purity? Is the enclosed female space a sign of sanctity whereas the open hinged male space the spirit of adventure? Are women contained by societal definitions of femininity resulting in us being “Birds in Gilded Cages”.  What is the extent of the power we have as women to define ourselves?

Katrin Sigurdardottir’s piece “Boiserie” explores many levels of existence. The enclosed room a replica in white of the Hotel de Cabris located in the Wrightsman galleries of the Met brings to mind a sense of the finite and infinite. As I observed visitors who thought they would be able to see their friends on the other side of the windows, they quickly realized the panes were security glass, meaning one could look in but not out. The mirrors in the room gave the impression of infinity by reflecting endless images. Like the worlds of many French society ladies and nobility they seemed to have everything, yet they had nothing as they were just “birds in a gilded cage” with their pleasure and privilege brought to an end with the French Revolution in 1789.  This first walled in room gives a sense of arrested development. Its progression halted within the pure white room encased in what appears to be rather dingy plywood.

Viewing this exhibit is like looking into a surreal kaleidoscope minus the rainbow, where white is not just the absence of color but has the ability to reflect all around and within it.

Because I as voyeur and viewer share the same gender as the artist this exhibit propelled me into rethinking what it means to be a woman in our society.  Gender has been defined as a social/cultural construct.  Gender can be said to be the attributes and aspects which society says make up the male and the female.  Women even women of wealth and privilege who resided in the royal courts of Europe have always been considered inferior beings.

How are we taught to see masculinity and femininity in our society?  John Berger in Ways of Seeing, writes that, “A man’s presence suggests what he is capable of doing to you or for you.  His presence may be fabricated, in the sense that he pretends to be capable of what he is not.  But the pretence is always towards a power, which he exercises on others.

By contrast, a woman’s presence expresses her own attitude to herself, and defines what can and cannot be done to her.  Her presence is manifest in her gestures, voice, opinions, expressions, and clothes, chosen surroundings, taste – indeed there is nothing she can do which does not contribute to her presence.  Presence for a woman is so intrinsic to her person that men tend to think of it as an almost physical emanation, a kind of heat or smell or aura.” (p 45-46)

A woman’s space like that depicted by Sigurdardottir’s white room replica of the Hotel de Cabris, is closed and everything about her is directed inward.  Men keep her physically, financially, and emotionally.  Women’s gestures, attitudes and social discourse has been developed and defined within very narrow parameters.  However not only does she watch herself but she watches herself being observed.  She becomes both the subject and object of the male gaze.  As Berger says, she is both the surveyor and the surveyed (p. 46).  In Berger’s definition, men act, women appear (p. 47).

This brings up the issue of stratification of different types of social classes of women.  Women young and old often seek to emulate or embody the concept of glamour.  The behaviors of movie starlets, models, entertainers, and socialites no matter how vulgar, demeaning or degrading have become the order of the day.  However the glamour of media stars is without substance.  Many women failing to reach these unreachable aspirations die ignoble emotional, mental and physical deaths grasping for the brass ring but coming up empty.

Even female garments are designed to create restriction.  Foundation garments such as girdles, corsets or spanx, garters, shoes too tight to be comfortable or heels too high to walk in, suggest a type of captivity.  All are attire that suggest bondage and domination.  A woman is encouraged to be a walking work of art in our society.  Fashion magazines tell her how to dress diet and style her hair.

And what of the women disenfranchised by physical, emotional abuse, domestic violence and sexual harassment.  What of their space.  Can it be recreated or refashioned to include them in the dialogue or are they forever locked out via twin fiends named shame and guilt.  I speak for those women whose space is closed, confined, where the doors are locked and the keys are in the possession of the oppressor.  Once I was a captive of my abuser who physically left me Thanksgiving Day 2007 but the damage he did to my mind, emotions, spirit and psyche has never left me.  He left his imprint on my soul.  The brutes of shame and guilt entrap me by refusing to grant me the ability to trust or love completely.  My only hope at this late stage of my life is that once I transition from this realm into whatever lies beyond I’ll be granted the gift of forgiveness.

I know my absolution will never come from the church or the so-called “body of Christ” as the “church” as a religious entity sanctions male dominance thus the abuse and violent behavior that stems from a patriarchal system.

At present I longingly look through the bars of my prison at those women given pardon and liberty all the while awaiting my next evolution into that great beyond where I will be exonerated, set free and love will once again make an appearance in my life.  But in deference to my ex-boyfriend I dedicate this song to him.

Alice in Wonderland—Bigger, Larger, Smaller, Tinier

Grace Slick & Jefferson Airplane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0

The extended accordion like rendition of the Hotel de Crillon room also located in the Wrightsman galleries gives a sense of expansion yet all the while the free hinges connecting the smaller and larger doorways gives the viewer the perceived ability to fold up and pack away in a suitcase this wonderful display of abstraction.

The larger doorway is a portal to the imagination, the rooms or cubes within our own minds.  Have I like Alice in the story eaten the cake labeled “Eat Me” and grown too large, then drank the potion labeled “Drink Me” and shrunk too small.  Or like the Alice in the Grace Slick song taken the pills that trick my mind into thinking I’m continually expanding and contracting.  But I like the many visitors to the exhibit calmly walk through happily appreciating the aesthetic qualities of the piece.

These two exhibits are located on the Mezzanine of the Modern Art section of the Met museum.  And just what is the definition of Mezzanine: “A partial story between two main stories of a building.   An intermediate floor between main floors of a building.”

The interpretation of the two Wrightsman rooms is an intermediate, betwixt and between what is real and what is contrived. Similar to the Alice’s trip into Wonderland where reality changes from moment to moment and fantasy is the order of the day.

Can reality be perceived only through the five senses or is reality much like sexuality and/or gender roles only a social construct which time, space and cultures eternally deconstruct and evolve to fit each generations needs.

But I have journeyed from 16th century France, where kings and queens once ruled by divine right only to be deposed through revolution into the 21st century where we read in the papers, on the web and see on television current megalomaniacs and dictators forced to cede their power and authority to the once frightened and enslaved masses who have reclaimed empowerment.  Perhaps since both pieces are constructions of wood paneling or plywood that in itself signifies the falsity of temporal riches.

These two rooms pose questions on gender, race, class and social inequalities than possible answers or solutions to aforesaid dilemmas.  Or perhaps queries that come to mind have within them never-ending possibilities and infinite resolutions.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

www.metmuseum.org

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