Secrets of a Decaying Socialite


 

Secrets of a Decaying Socialite

Broken is who and what I am. Every day I see the pieces of my armor falling to the floor. I am that tragic secret whispered among the thorns. An embalmed mannequin morphing into a rotting corpse.  A piece of trash waiting for Sanitation to pick me up and deposit me on the refuse heap. The Reaper comes for his Harvest as the Char Man makes his daily delivery to Sanford & Son. Elizabeth I’ll see you soon.


Homicide

When did the explosion happen? Who knows? Because I think it was really an implosion. Being a Nightmare waiting to be born. Somebody put a  dent in my universe which I don’t know how to repair.

Save your prayers. Save Your Prayers for stones on the ground. Each prayer causes me to die a little each second of every day.  Wash away the guilt and shame so embedded that you need to kill parts of your brain to live.  

Documenta Dementia.

Let me go back to the nobody I’ve always been. One with nothing to prove.

I am not mortar and stone.  I am bubbling flesh bursting at the seams. In my dreams I’m someone else. Somebody else. An important person. A person with a mission, passion and purpose. Going up in the air ready to crash into the next mountain peak. Brought low. Brought back to earth. Reality.

Birthing a mummified child. Dear Dead One How long were you within me? He just kept stabbing at my web of lies whilst becoming entangled within its sticky threads. Pain Follows even to the most secret hiding places.

Thank you and please enjoy my Triggers.

 

 

 

 

The Least of These………..


 

I work as a Museum Security Guard. In order to live comfortably in New York City one needs an income of at least $75K to $80K.  As you can see Museum Security Guards are the last on the list. We are the most visible and in fact we are the face of every museum yet we make the least. Often we put our safety on the line. Yes guards have been attacked by visitors. Myself included and believe me it’s worse for the female guards. Though it’s not reported it happens. We are maligned, mistreated and pretty much taken for granted by the visiting public and sometimes the other departments. Nameless. Faceless. Until trouble or need arises. At times No appreciation.

Yet over 95% of museum security officers at my workplace have at least a Bachelors degree and often advanced degrees, many of us are multi-lingual, a good portion of us are artists in our own right. Yes. That’s right most of my colleagues are writers, painters, musicians, fashion designers, visual and literary artists. Talented and creative people.

Why do a job where you are often not respected?

Because we Love the Art. We are creative beings and working for a museum standing in those galleries day after day and sometimes night after night fuels our creativity even more. We feel we have something to contribute. Our reward comes from reuniting a lost child with his/her parents, a child, teen or even an adult’s eyes light up with knowledge as we not only direct them to a specific artwork but many times we are expected to have infinite intricate knowledge of various types of artworks on display and even those not on display, making sure that an ill/sick visitor receives the medical assistance they need in an emergency (And Believe Me when I say I’ve had visitors collapse, pass out, vomit, have convulsions and fall down stairs splitting their heads wide open bleeding profusely. I am not squeamish. Can’t be with my job.)  We are trained to deal with various types of emergencies.

Despite the low pay and being called everything but a Child of God I’m glad for the 9 years I’ve spent working as a museum guard. It has been a learning experience and I’ve even surprised myself with all the knowledge and information I’ve acquired over the years. A Few years ago just for fun I created curriculum courses on How to Read a Painting partially based on the talks I’ve heard given by the Docents (Unpaid Volunteers) and the many curatorial talks I’ve attended.  Being a museum guard can be boring and listening to the museum tours is a welcome distraction. Pretty much I came to memorized a good many of those talks verbatim. As far as I can tell the docents have a script from which they rarely deviate.  I’ve also had the opportunity to give impromptu talks about the artwork. Not only do I listen to the docent/curator talks I also make it my business to watch videos about art and read books on the subject.

Me writing this is not to malign or be critical of the other museum works. I know the Curators work their behinds off and deserve their high paying salaries as do the technicians, art handlers, etc…  My desire/wish is that Security be seen as an integral part of the museum team which we are since the museum galleries cannot open without security guards.  Also a Living Wage that does Not require working hours and hours of overtime would be nice.

Now I work the Night Shift so I rarely see visitors.  In addition to performing my Nightly Security duties I can spend quiet time reflecting on the various exhibitions since the galleries are empty and silent.

The next time you visit a museum especially one in my hometown of New York Thank that Museum Security Guard. You will bring Joy to their day. And by the way, DON’T TOUCH THE ART!!!

 

Museum Director: $233,398
Chief Operating Officer/Administrator: $150,100
Deputy Director: $142,994
Chief Curator/Director of Curatorial Affairs/Curator A: $123,725
Director of Development/Development A: $120,000
Chief Conservator/Conservator A: $107,832
Director of Information Systems/Chief Information Officer: $106,692
Director of Finance/Finance A: $103,000
Senior Curator/Curator of Special Collections Area/Curator B: $102,500
Director, Planned Giving/Institutional Giving: $95,000
Director of External Affairs: $94,500
Human Resources Director: $92,830
Senior Conservator/ Conservator B: $83,771
Curator of Exhibitions/Curator C: $81,017
Systems Manager/Technology Director/Director of New Media: $79,000
Director of Education/Curator of Education/Education A: $77,030
Facilities Director/Building Manager/Operations Manager: $75,400
Marketing Director: $74,375
Director of Finance/Finance B: $73,917
Associate Curator/Curator D: $69,340
Editor/Director of Publications: $68,688
Engineering Manager: $67,009
Exhibition Designer: $66,955
Head Librarian/ Librarian A: $64,272
Associate Conservator/ Conservator C: $61,165
Web Manager: $60,600
Public Relations Officer: $60,458
Grant Manager/Institutional Giving Manager/Development B: $60,416
Chief of Security: $60,416
Photographer: $58,915
Assistant Curator/Curator E: $58,052
Registrar A: $55,973
Associate Librarian/Librarian B: $55,703
Graphic Designer: $55,620
Special Events Manager: $54,368
Assistant to Director: $53,960
Chief Preparator/Preparator A: $53,077
Museum Store Manager: $53,000
Associate Registrar/Registrar B: $52,755
Development Associate/Development C: $52,020
Associate Educator/Educator B: $52,000
New Media Manager: $50,000
Associate Librarian/Librarian C: $49,728
Associate Preparator/Preparator B: $45,127
Volunteer Coordinator: $43,722
Assistant Educator/Educator C: $43,000
Assistant Registrar/Registrar C: $41,787
Curatorial Assistant: $40,000
Membership Assistant: $39,100
Education Assistant: $36,025


Museum Security Officer/Museum Security Guard: $31,213

Numbers from http://www.artnet.com/

 

Share Your World – June 26, 2017


 

 

 

 

 

https://ceenphotography.com/2017/06/26/share-your-world-june-26-2017/

Share Your World – June 26, 2017

share-your-world-syw

What goal are you working on now? Your goal can be something fun or extremely serious.  Have fun with this question.

Retirement. Preparing by increasing my contribution to the 403B Saving Plan.

What is one thing you’re glad you tried but would never do again?

The Cyclone which is a famous Roller-coaster located in Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY.  It turned 90 earlier this month. For me Roller Coasters are Barf Machines!

 

The only Cyclones that I wish to engage in the future are the Brooklyn Cyclones Baseball Team!!    http://www.brooklyncyclones.com/virtual/

 

Did you choose your profession or did it choose you?

The job I have now choose me but I believe I was placed there for a reason. Of course nobody goes to college to become a Museum Security Guard but in the 9 years I’ve worked at the Museum I’ve developed a deeper appreciation for art in all its various forms and genres.  Many of my colleagues are artists, musicians, writers, playwrights, photographers, sculptures and painters. To be surrounded by so many creative people is a Blessing and a Catalyst for me to move forward with my gifts and talents.

Have you ever gotten lost?

Yes plenty of times. Both driving and getting off on the wrong subway stop! When I used to drive it was well known among my friends that I was “Wrong Way Corrigan!”  I have not driven since 2008 so my experiences are before GPS.  As for the subway mishaps that occurred from falling asleep and missing my stop. Much to my consternation and frustration I wound up having to cross over to the opposite platform and take the train back to My stop.

Douglas Corrigan was an American aviator born in Galveston, Texas. He was nicknamed “Wrong Way” in 1938

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Corrigan

 

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/wrong-way-corrigan-crosses-the-atlantic

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

 

Lately especially for the last two weeks I feel like my life has been various chapters of the popular children’s book series  Lemony Snicket,  A Series of Unfortunate Events.  My eyeglasses broke two weeks ago and as of yet I have not had the funds to replace them. So I’ve been walking around without glasses. So far I can still see well enough to get around my neighborhood and off to work. I will try to get my glasses fixed tomorrow when I go see my brother Stephen. New glasses will cost at least $500 which I Do Not have.

The IRS sent me one of their Lovely Missives stating that I owe New York State around $400.  They will take their money. For those outside the USA the IRS can level a garnishment against your paycheck which means they can just go into your bank account and take the money.  Same thing if you own Student Loans. Basically the government can take the money out of your bank account without your permission.

I must bite the bullet and work Extra Overtime to get them off my back. July 4th will be good for me as the Museum will be open, I will be working and it’s a Double Day. Lord knows I need the extra money.

I can only do like the Rosita song in Sing and Shake it Off!

 

 

I do look forward to seeing my brother Stephen both tomorrow and July 7th. These are his progress report meetings plus some fun activities.

It has been a Great Week for photography most of which I feature on my Photography Blog Roaming Urban Gypsy.

https://roamingurbangypsy.com/

 

 

Sophisticated Lady Bringing Back Sexy


 

 

Thankful Thriving Therapeutic Thursday

 

Props and Shout Outs to the Ladies who are helping me with my Journey!!  They have assisted me in Raising My Vibration Frequencies via Fashion.  Fashion transforms me into a living breathing artwork!!

https://addandsomuchmore.com/2017/04/21/friday-fun-fashion/

http://www.jtouchofstyle.com/why-shopping/

http://www.jtouchofstyle.com/restyling-clothing-pieces-good-brain/

https://susiesopinions.blog/2017/04/26/lkous-women-sexy-sleeveless-strap-criss-cross-hollow-out-bodycon-bandage-club-dress/

https://beccagivens.wordpress.com/2017/06/01/nurt-thurs-one-belief/

 

Sophisticated Lady

Rockin’ This Look!  Stardust and Moon Light. Rockin’ It All Night.

Calling on all 50+ Ladies to Disrupt Aging!!

http://www.aarp.org/etc/everywhere/statics/disrupt-aging/home.html?cmp=EMC-DSM-NLC-OTH-DISAGING-20170323_DA_Newsletter_April_TEST2_254201_285302-032317-Preheader-Disrupt_Aging-Logo-TEST2-1988148&encparam=ApQlGGdh5XpCU4V9ayKEDbvLBTaEk/vwRPu3RDXWgeE%3D

 

Flaming Fiery Goddess!!

Susie of Susies Opinions hipped me to this Sexy Sleeveless Strap Criss Cross Hollow Out Bodycon Bandage Club Dress.  I ordered it in a Size Medium. Obviously though I did get my Magnificent body into the dress I need to go back and order another one same color in a Size LARGE! LOL!!  Also I was a bit bloated. Oh the Joys of Middle Age Struggle Tummy! Hey Folks! Fat Happens!

Yet As the Young People say. I Slay Every Day!

 

 

Grounding Myself. Feet Directly into Mother Earth

 

 

http://www.aarp.org/disrupt-aging/video-disrupt-aging/info-2017/faith-ringgold-quiltuduko-video.html?cmp=EMC-DSM-NLC-OTH-DISAGING-20170126_DA_NL_Feb_254201_279706-012617-Intro-FaithArtist-Image-CTRL-1827453&encparam=ApQlGGdh5XpCU4V9ayKEDbvLBTaEk/vwRPu3RDXWgeE%3D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotional Healing ~~ Only a PipeDream


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/heal/#like-253021

Your body can heal from bruises, bumps, cuts and breaks but your mind can never heal from emotional, physical or psychological abuse.

I am a rape survivor. I was raped when I was 19 but the abuse did not stop there. Throughout most of my adult life I have been the object of sexual harassment, domestic violence, bullying, workplace violence etc…  For a long time I tried to cover up my wounds by going to church, reading my Bible, prayer, exercise, having productive hobbies such as photography, practicing Buddhist meditation, getting out into Nature, affirmations, playing Gospel, Inspirational and uplifting music, read books that are supposed to show you how you can get deliver from your thoughts, listening to progressive positive videos and podcasts, and so on. You name it I’ve tried it or am still using these strategies.

During the last 40 odd years I’ve been hospitalized repeatedly for Depression. I’ve been on all types of anti-depressants and psychosis drugs/pills to no avail. I spent two weeks on the psych ward as a prisoner at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, NY. One of the worst hospitals in New York.  I was forced to take medication that caused panic attacks, breaks with reality, hallucinations and everything else these drugs are supposed to fix. I saw things there that scared the hell out of me and frightened me so badly that I promised myself I would never return to the hell hole again.  Just thinking about that place causes nightmares.

Believe me when I say that the cure is worse than the disease.

After being released from Dante’s Inferno I began to realize that I will never escape the effects of the trauma. I will always have flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, night terrors and fears that nobody except those who’ve gone through my experience can understand. I know I will never have a loving, caring relationship with a man because too much water has passed under the bridge and I rarely trust men. My history and my experiences are my reality no matter how many times I read or watch that book/movie called The Secret.

I still do all the things I stated in the early paragraph but now as I approach my sixth decade on this earth I realize that I cannot run away from me. I was looking for a fix or a cure that does not exist. I must accept my failures, flaws, and shortcomings because no matter what I do inside my mind I will remain the same.

However all is not lost as I know when I pass from Labor to Reward I will receive my healing in Heaven and my suffering will come to an end.  Finally I will find peace.

One thing that I will do when I see Jesus is ask him why I had to go through all this pain and what I did to cause it.  Was there something wrong with me. That is something for which I really want an answer.

So that is my response to today’s word prompt despite the fact that I know folks won’t like my words and will say that my feelings and emotions are not true or valid but deep inside I know that my truth is my reality no matter how much I try to change it. You can’t run from yourself.