Their places at the Thanksgiving and Christmas tables have been empty in some cases for many years. Some say you have memories but you cannot speak with a memory and you cannot hug a memory. The tears last forever.
For the ones for which I have no photos I pour Libation and speak your name that your memory may never be forgotten. Wounds that will never heal. Tears that flow like a river into seas and oceans far from the distant shore. Ase.
Delbert Callahan, Gladys Young, Linda James, Clarence and Mamie Finney and the list goes on of family and friends most taken from this earth way too soon meaning except for two all died in their 50s and 60s. Every year that I get older the more people my age who pass away. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be next and in what circumstances I will leave this earth.
Bernadine I still miss you so much. I carry your prayer card in my uniform every day. I still miss your smiling face and your laughter. However I know as much sorrow is in my heart your daughter and two sisters are hurting more than me and this year there will be no Christmas for your Loved ones.
Empty Chairs. Sorrow-filled hearts. Even though my parents have been gone close to twenty years I’ve never completely gotten over their loss and probably I never will. I still feel that ache Thanksgiving, Christmas and especially on Mother’s and Father’s Day which I don’t celebrate. When my parents passed away and I had to go through all their belongings and sort out things in their home one of the things I made sure went into the garbage was the Christmas tree and all the ornaments, even the ones dating back to the 50s and 60s because what sense would it make to have kept those things when the people who gave them meaning are gone? Of course now my space is the size of a postage stamp so I’m glad I tossed that Holiday junk. Since I never married nor had children it made no sense to carry on any type of holiday traditions. I make sure my brother Stephen has gifts and we go out on the town but I stopped decorating and sending Christmas cards long ago.
Fortunately this year I will be working on Christmas day and I am happy for the welcome distraction. My job will help me take my mind off what is a depressing holiday for me.
Mom & Dad
My Dad Edward G. Palmer
My Dad Edward G. Palmer
Mom Mable Palmer
Mable Elizabeth Palmer ~~ My Mom
My Grandfather William J. Palmer with some of his children in Mt. Morris aka Marcus Garvey Park
What is your favorite smell? What memory does it remind you of?
Roses. My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer.
Mom Mable Palmer
What type of pet do you have or want to have?
My Cat Sylvester. One day I wish I could have a cottage in the woods yet near the city where I could have even more cats maybe 3 or 4 kitties.
Sylvester
Sylvester in my old Laundry Bag
Sylvester on Rumpled Bed
Are you usually late, early, or right on time?
Early. Thank you Uncle Sam United States Army!!
For recharging, would you rather meditate, swim, walk, listen to music, write, read, yoga, qigong other?
SLEEP!!! However if I can’t get my naps in Soulful Struts where I walk and take photos, listening to music, writing and read are also good.
Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
That everything is continuing to go very well on my new work position. My job has now actually become enjoyable! I’m also Thankful that God has met ALL My needs, My Bills are paid and I was able to buy some gifts for my brother Stephen.
Looking forward to next week because I have some time off coming to me and I will be able to spend time with my Awesome Autism Guy Stephen Palmer!! Stephen’s Group Home is having a Holiday Party this coming Saturday which I will try to be there, God Willing!!
One thing that stood out to me in John Glenn’s obituary other than his NASA career was that he and his wife were married for 73 years!! Outstanding!! That is what I call a True Love bond! Wow!!
Another aspect of John and Anna Glenn relationship was that I admired that his wife whom he affectionately called Annie stammered for many years yet he called her “His Girl” and the rock of their relationship and family life. John Glenn did not care that Annie stammered. Her disability had no bearing on his Love for her. He accepted her as is. Later through intensive therapy Annie Glenn did conquer her stammering along with support and encouragement from her Beloved husband.
Now a days it’s all about hook-ups and booty calls. A Woman has to look like a movie star actress, model with a perfect shape, flawless skin, hair and nails plus Never age. Then we wonder why our relationships don’t last. I’m not saying let yourself go downhill. Yes take care of yourself but marriage and any long term romantic relationship is more than a roll in the hay. What you’re looking for. What we are designed for as human beings cannot be found on Tinder, Grinder or any online dating website, your local bar, disco or club. Nor should you just treat your House of Worship as a social club. The Singles Ministry is supposed to be there to help you create a well rounded Life as a Single person not to just scout for Mr. or Ms. Right. It’s a good thing if you do meet your future spouse at church but God should be first.
Keep in mind that sooner or later you’ll have to get of out the bed and deal with that person as an individual not a sex object or somebody you can misuse, abuse then toss aside. What you do to others will come back to haunt you.
O’ for a Man. A Real Man! A True Man! Who will Love you with all your faults, flaws and Aging Body!! They just don’t make’em like that anymore! More than just Lovers but True Life Partners!!
Proud to say my Dad Edward G. Palmer was such a Man. Forty Years together on earth and Now an Eternity together in Heaven!!
Mom & Dad
Yes I admire John and Annie Glenn because they both have the Right Stuff! R.I.P. ~~ John Glenn.
Godspeed Mr. Glenn!! Now exploring Limitless Heavens!!
I had hoped to write a happy post. Something positive and uplifting for this Veteran’s Day but unfortunately with the results of yesterday’s presidential election there is not much good that can be said.
Those of you who served in the United States Army remember this Oath of Enlistment.
I, _____, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.” (Title 10, US Code; Act of 5 May 1960 replacing the wording first adopted in 1789, with amendment effective 5 October 1962).
Forty years ago I raised my right hand and recited this Oath.
What happens when that enemy is not only domestic but has now become the Commander in Chief aka President of the United States of America. A man who is a well known sociopath and narcissist. A man whose evil rhetoric and divisive tactics split the nation into two camps. A man who if we allow him will bring if not World War Three but a Civil War where we will be maimed, lose property, jobs, life and limb.
I have to admit being that I work for a museum which mainly attracts the 1%, the wealthy, rich upper-crust of society who don’t give a damn about the working class, immigrants, Black Americans or any peoples of Color I went through my workday numb with interspersion of break times where colleagues sat in equally numb silence or made half-halfhearted attempts to console each other. A Filipina co-worker and I just hugged.
I especially look to my Jewish co-worker who is the voice of reason in all situations. We highly value and respect his opinion. He did give me some hope as did one of my Caribbean co-workers that maybe the Trump Nightmare this man eating bone crunching terminator machine will not completely destroy America as we know it.
As I watch the tourists, visitors and people who live in the white-bread world surrounding neighborhood laugh, joke, play with their kids, be happy I realize that they could be happy because Trump becoming president will not touch their world and in fact will probably make life better for them.
Most of the low echelon workers security and custodial are populated by immigrants, Muslims, people of Color, Hindus, you know the folks that Middle America, Republican Conservative America loves to hate, blame and make us scapegoats for all that is wrong with this country. We are the ones who secure, clean and console but are taken for granted.
We gather together hanging onto any words of hope or solace in this one of the saddest most depressing events in recent U.S. history. Huddling closer and closer attempting to create some type of safety net. But inside is that little voice of fear. We may not show it because we can’t after all we are not supposed to have any feelings or emotions only be subservient to the ruling majority. You know that Remains of the Day stiff upper lip type of thing.
For me the most heart wrenching thing as a U.S. Army Veteran is that the deed is done and there is little or nothing I can do to turn things around.
I fear another Middle Passage. The return of Slavery and Jim Crow. Or perhaps it never really left and was only waiting in the wings for the right actor to make an appearance on stage for it’s horrible reanimation. I Fear: Another Trail of Tears. Another Nazi Germany. Internment camps like the ones where Japanese-Americans were forced into during WWII. More police shootings or innocent Black people.
It also troubles me that many who voted for Trump live in the so-called Bible Belt. Well what Bible are you reading. You do know that Jesus was a Jew who live in a multi-cultural polytheistic society and no where in the Gospels where he is attacking his Greek, Roman or Egyptian neighbors or devaluing their belief systems. In fact Jesus saved most of his most scathing remarks for his fellow Jews/Hebrews specifically the Pharisees and Sadducees. Here is where Jesus got angry with hypocrites.
Matthew 21:12-13
New International Version (NIV)
Jesus at the Temple
12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.13 “It is written,” he said to them,“‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.
Those who voted for Trump who is more of an Anti-Christ than a Christian have filled Presidency with a Thief!!
I am stunned, appalled and scared to death of this upcoming Trump Presidency. The KKK is going to be in the White House as of January 2017. I’m old enough to remember the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. Folks this is real and is no joke.
The Healthcare law will be repealed, Civil Rights laws be dismantled. Every Black, brown, Jewish, Asian, Muslim, Native Americans, Hindu, Buddhist, all immigrants should be afraid. After all a year from now none of us may be here. My brother Stephen has Autism. There goes all the goods, services and programs for Disabled Americans.
We are going backwards to the 18th and 19th slavery Jim Crow days. My ancestors are weeping. I’m terrified!!
President Trump will keep his promise to Make America White again.
But after all the “Others” are gone what will America do then??? This man has sold you a bill of goods. He gave you poisoned Kool-Aid and you drank. Remember every decision, every choice has consequences. I hope that you can live with yours.
An extremely moving talk about Rosemary Kennedy. Please see the entire video at the bottom of this post. For whatever we think of the Kennedy’s especially Joe Kennedy I found myself listening to this talk from the perspective of parents with an intellectually/developmentally disabled child. Despite all their resources and riches the techniques, programs, services and medical care that is available today was not there in the 1920s/1930s.
In some parts of the film relate to the mother Rose Kennedy via my mother Mable Palmer. I can clearly imagine the frustration of placing your child in school after school waiting for the miracle result that never manifests even with all your wealth, power and influence. Like the Kennedy’s our parents always impressed upon me that we must stick together. “Blood is thicker than water.” As you know from previous posts I am very protective of my brother Stephen. I also know and remember the stigma, shame and guilt my mother Mable Palmer went through in the 1960s/70s so it must have been even worse in the 1920s/30s.
Initially Stephen screamed. All. The. Time. I don’t know how my mother managed. Dad went to work every day so he got a break. After a time Stephen stopped screaming and eventually did speak but to this day he cannot carry on a conversation though he will listen to the other people around him and respond if questioned.
However my parents drew the line at any type of medical experimentation. Plus being working class obviously our parents especially our Mom were much more hands on. Daddy did take us out on the weekends so Mommy could get a break. They refused to institutionalize Stephen.
However having said that I cannot pass judgments on Joe and Rose Kennedy having Rosemary lobotomized. At that time a lobotomy was considered a cure for various types of mental illness. I would guess they were at their wits end given Rosemary’s behavior. Sadly Rosemary Kennedy came out of the surgery totally disabled. She was the sacrificial lamb. Not a Happy Ending. At that point in the documentary I wanted to cry.
I’m very glad that my parents did not put Stephen away into an institution. I’m grateful that Stephen and I grew up together. I remember back in 1989 when Stephen was placed into his current Group Home. Even though I was the one who worked to get him placed into a facility because my parents were becoming ill and could no longer care for Stephen, I cried the first night I came home from work and Stephen was not there running down the stairs to greet me.
Thanks to Eunice Kennedy Stephen did participate for many years in the local Special Olympics held at St. John’s University in Queens, New York.
Thank you to all the Kennedys’ who after witnessing this horrible event happen to their beloved sister worked to make things better for intellectually/developmentally disabled people today. No matter what side of the political fence you’re on without the hard work and tenacity of the Kennedy siblings we would still be in the Dark Ages of institutionalized warehousing.
See Willowbrook State School: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willowbrook_State_School
Thank you Rosemary Kennedy for being a transformation for good! God Bless you for now you reside in your Heavenly home well, happy, healthy and free!!
Thank you Lord God Jehovah for my brother Stephen Vincent Palmer. For all the progress he made in spite of the negative reports from those doctors back in 1963 when he was two years old. God knew better because Stephen is one of His special children. Thanks to our parents who believed that Stephen could learn, who treated him just like any other child, gave him chores to do up to and including his abilities and disciplined him teaching him right from wrong so that today Stephen is a contributing member of society. He is more than my sibling. He is my companion. My friend. My life long partner and I would never trade or ask the Heavens for a so-called “normal” sibling when I have the most perfect brother in the world!!
Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit 