Female Ancestor from my Dad's side, Name lost to Time

The Cruelty of “Christianity”


The Cruelty of “Christianity”

Tekahionwake

“Oh, why have your people forced on me the name of Pauline Johnson? Was not my Indian name good enough? Do you think you help us by bidding us forget our blood? By teaching us to cast off all memory of our high ideals and our glorious past? I am an Indian. My pen and my life I devote to the memory of my own people. Forget that I was Pauline Johnson, but remember always that I was Tekahionwake, the Mohawk that humbly aspired to be the saga singer of her people, the bard of the noblest folk the world has ever seen, the sad historian of her own heroic race.”

Nobody knows my name or the real me except Jesus and him alone. Some ancestors unwillingly pulled from the breast of Mother Africa the others walked the “Trail of Tears”. Both had forced upon them the indoctrination of Euro-centric Christianity to the detriment of each noble culture.

A few months ago I traced my maternal ancestry back to Mozambique. When I made that discovery something in my spirit clicked and I knew that one day I had to return to the birthplace of my Great, great, great, great, great Grandmother, her birth name lost to time and eternity. Other ancestors born in this great land have yet to be revealed. Many times I wonder, “What was my African and/or Native American name.”  The names of Finney, Halstead, Gordon, Palmer were all given by some distant slave-owner. Who were they and who were they 500 years ago?

Like Tekahionwake I live my dichotomy every day even in my spiritual life wondering about the respective faiths of my African and Native American ancestors. Thinking about how their own unique worship was torn asunder only to be replaced by a Euro-centric “Christian” god who relegated them to a lesser status, below that of their European captors.

Children of an accursed Ham? (Genesis 9:20–27) I think not for the descendents of the great Realm of Ethiopia have risen again to the rightful place in the Diaspora.

Matthew 12:42

New King James Version (NKJV)

42 The queen of the South will rise up in the judgment with this generation and condemn it, for she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and indeed a greater than Solomon is here.

The cries of my people would not be extinguished. The voices of my Native American ancestors called to me for redemption. Through an experiment called Carlisle Indian Industrial School History, really internment in re-culturalization concentration camps Richard Henry Pratt sought to erase the cultural identity of Kiowa, Cheyenne, Arapaho and other tribes through forcing children into complete immersion in Eurocentric culture and identity, effectively erasing their own. Take away a person’s language and belief systems, telling them that how God created them was wrong and had to be fixed only serves to create indwelling images of self-hatred within those lost children. If eradicating my indigenous and African American culture, traditions, ethnicity and exchanging them for dominant white culture will I be closer to God?  Will Jesus accept me in this new form?

As I gaze in the mirror as many Native Americans did 150 years ago neither my face nor my features as God made them can be erased. The efforts on the part of European conquerors failed. Nor were the colonizers able to erase the connection to the Great Spirit as he was known long before the white man touched our shores.

White man you tell me that only your version of Jesus can save my soul and deliver me from sin. And just what is my sin? Being born with a brown face, high cheek bones, full lips, long flowing Jet Black hair or locs that rise to kiss the sun. Does my sin lie in the dances my people perform to honor my ancestors and Mother Earth who gives us all sustenance? Am I or my ways at fault because we revere Nature as opposed to destroying the land, fouling the waters, polluting the environment in a never ending obsession to conquer, convert and control? Now who is the savage? Who is the so-called heathen?

Oh European who comes bearing the sign of the cross who is this God of yours that lifts up your customs and traditions but disparages mine? He is not the Jesus depicted in your Old Master paintings from Italy, Spain, France or the Flemish Masters. No, more than likely he was a swarthy man with kinky dark woolly hair, skin darkened by constant exposure to the sun. Jesus was someone whose looks paralleled the populations most of the indigenous tribes of Africa, North and South America.

Revelation 1:14-15

New King James Version (NKJV)

14 His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire; 15 His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters;

We Sisters and Brothers from what you named the “Third World” now know that Jesus came for us just as we are. God accepts us in all the richness with which he created us. We Black and Brown followers have redefined and returned Christianity to its original intent and meaning.

No longer do we walk the “Trail of Tears” or the Via Dolorosa. Now we stand together arm in arm marching onward to Zion that beautiful city of God taking our place among those who have been redeemed.

 Female Ancestor from my Dad's side, Name lost to Time

Nina Simone – If He Changed My Name

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Points to Ponder — Images of Women


Points to Ponder.

2 females fighting over a man
Two females fighting for the attentions of a worthless man.

Life is one giant learning experience. I chalk up the misplaced words of bitter jealous insecure women as signs of immaturity and deal with them on that level. Would I fight over a man? No. Why. Because Honey there ain’t that much “love” in the world and I’m saving that love for the happy trio of me, myself and I.

Unfortunately we as women live in a society that pits us against each other. Something like a female “Hunger Games”. Women are made to feel that they are in competition with each other over the few crumbs of favor, perks or success some man in authority and power may throw our way. Not so. Yes we do live in a male dominated society but women must band together and make their own opportunities but not at the expense of our images.

This is what I hate most about shows like, Love and Hip-Hop, Basketball Wives, Housewives of (fill in the blank), Mob Wives, etc… These women who’ve only had a semblance of “success” through a rich husband or father throw themselves into the TV Roman arena, then commence to claw, rip and shred each other apart. The first two shows I mentioned make well-to-do Black Women or rather Black Women in general look like gold digging sluts. Unfortunately this is what our young Black women model themselves after. How long are we going to going to be dazzled by this bullshit?

The mindset of these negative TV shows is so pervasive that it’s even seeping to the psyche of older women. That makes for the older women vs. the younger women slugfests. Women of a certain age feel they have to slice, dice, ice, pull up, straighten out, fly, dye and pull to the side various parts of their anatomy in hopes that an admiring man preferably wealthy will look their way. As a 50+ Black Woman I refuse to allow male dominant culture to marginalize or put me out to pasture.

More than likely the war between age and youth has always been in place but the advent of technology escalates the situation to a whole new level.

With the dawn of cable TV, the Internet and social media the heat is on women who feel they’re past their prime to belly up to the bimbo bar. All of sudden superficiality has replaced substance. Hair, nails and make-up have become more important than morals, values, academic knowledge or intellectually bearing. Don’t get me wrong I too color my hair and get my nails done but my reason behind these beauty treatments are they please me. The pampering makes me feel good as a woman and naturally I want to look good. However anyone who knows me well also knows I’m not the type of woman to dumb myself down for a man. I come from a place of intellect, intelligence and knowledge. I believe my sexiness is internal manifesting itself in the external. Yes I can look great in a mini-skirt, dress or shorts but I can also hold an intelligent conversation on a range of topics from literature, history and sociology. This brings me to my next point.

Where are the TV shows that balance these horrible images out? Where are our Black Women writers, scientists, researchers, anthropologists, astronauts, historians…..? Mae Jemison, Barbara Jordan, Shirley Chisholm, Sojourner Truth, Zora Neale Hurston, Fanny Lou Hamer, Mary McLeod Bethune, Ida B. Wells-Barnett.

Shameful Silence. How much do you Ladies want to bet that the cast of Basketball Wives has no knowledge of these great Black Women? On the other hand would they want to?

Points to Ponder.

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Forgiveness of a Mother’s Love


Mable Elizabeth Palmer
My Mom, Mable Elizabeth Palmer

Forgiveness of a Mother’s Love

A Mother’s Love reaches across hills, valleys, rivers and streams.

Across the eons of time and universe to hear her child’s cry for help.

I knelt at her feet, my head in her lap. The lap containing the womb of the Goddess who gave me life.

Her arms bridge the gap between this life and the next. My face cupped in her hands of redemption seeking salvation.

An outpouring of forgiveness sweeps over me like standing under a waterfall with waves of compassion and love overflowing the empty spaces in my life.

Today’s Forgiving Fridays: A Big Lesson on How to Let Go

 

 

A Mother’s Love is all encompassing, all faithful, all trusting. Hope against hope. Faith against faith. Reaching across the void separating us, pulling me close to her breasts, within her very being, enveloping me in undying love.

Dedicated to the memory of my Mom,

Mable Elizabeth Palmer, May 2, 1930 – August 2, 1998

Mable Elizabeth Palmer

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Make it Like it Was


Make it Like It Was

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqwdcemkHgc

 Since I’ve been laid up for over a week and this pain won’t let me rest I decided to take a walk down memory lane as inspired by the photo of me at around age five or six.

Me at around age five or six
Little Me

 

Age 5 – I was eating Rice Krispies

Age 50+ My body sounds like Rice Krispies. “Snap, Krackle, Pop!” Every muscle, tendon and joint aches and if I tried to do that Pop and Lock dance from the 70s I’d stay that way!

Age 5: I could eat anything I wanted and as much of it as my little tummy could hold.

Age 50+ My various doctors tell me constantly what I can and cannot eat.

Age 5: Never knew what sickness was. I do remember having Chicken Pox and the Measles but a visit to the doctor, a little calamine lotion, plus extra love from Mommy and Daddy and I was up on my feet in a few days.

Age 50+ I estimate I’ve been in some doctor’s office, sick at home or in the hospital every other month for the last two years.

Age 5: Penny candies.

Age 50+ Advil, Tylenol, Ambien, High Blood Pressure pills, etc…

Age 5: I was very inquisitive, creative and innovative. My parents encouraged and supported me in all my endeavors. Of course as a child I also had endless amounts of playtime. Even when my baby brother couldn’t or wouldn’t play with me I had imaginary friends plus I loved playing with ants. Probably from the ants point of view I was a sadistic child torturing them and they were glad when my Mom called me in for lunch or dinner!

Age 50+ The institution discourages creativity or thinking of any kind. I’m now paid to be a drone, a wage slave, a mindless robot. In fact I’ve been warned by a certain supervisor that any deviation from the expected will result in disciplinary action. So I hide my intelligence and let everyone think that I’m stupid. Makes life easier.

However during the little free time I have when I’m not ill or an inmate of the asylum,  I enjoy being outdoors watching people and exploring. I especially enjoy the Botanic Gardens. Any of them, in any borough. I’m not particular. If I could get to the zoo I’d go there also.

One good difference between ages five and fifty-one is that now I hate television. Got rid of the TV back in January and don’t miss it. My vision has diminished so it’s very difficult for me to watch television. Gives me headaches. Plus there is nothing of value on TV anymore. Growing up in the 1960s was the golden age of television; mind you I was watching Felix the Cat and other old time cartoons, a few game shows, Romper Room, Batman, the Green Hornet, etc….

Also unlike today’s parents my mother and father restricted my TV viewing. I did not have a TV in my bedroom.  We had that one Black & White RCA Victor vacuum tube television in the living room which my father controlled. To this day I still hate Lawrence Welk and Mitch Miller! My parents were old-fashioned and expected me to spend most of my free time if not playing, then reading or drawing. As a result I could read by the time I was four and was a pretty good artist ages seven to seventeen.

Well enough walking down memory lane. Time for lunch with a side of Advils. Oh yes, the glories of getting older.

Me in 1961
1961- A Very Good Year