I did not finish this tribute to my Mom. For both of us our lives were interrupted in cruel ways. The older I get the closer I become to Mom. We are more alike than different. In many ways we are one flesh. Though I am her I miss her in so many ways. As I understand Mommy I understand me. We share a nobility of spirit and grace. Suffering gives you a true sense of who you are.
We were both broken but now she is whole once more. I await Restoration and Redemption. It’s only when the bottom falls out of life itself that you can truly understand but cannot be understood. The veil that was once between us has been lifted but the barriers in this world are forever more.
We are humans in a world of affirmations, memes, life coaches and an array of people on the ready to tell you where you are going home. To be Human. Something that has come to mean little or nothing in the 20 years that you’ve been gone. Now everyone is or makes believe they are some sort of super hero knowing that those kind only exist in the comics or in the movies. In real life we are flawed, filled with faults, every day failures. Not so good but on the other hand not so bad either.
Mommy You are My Angel and My Queen.
Happy 88th Birthday in Heaven Mommy
May 2nd 1930 to August 2nd 1998
My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer was a multi-faceted woman like most women whether mothers or childless. She suffered from schizophrenia and attempted self medication using alcohol. On the surface it might seem that the outside world who did not know her would define her by those two medical conditions over which she had no control but My Mom was more than just a Label.
Now I didn’t always feel this way. Nor did my mother start out with a destructive mental illness called schizophrenia.
As I’ve come to realize over my 59 years on this earth Life is a series of uncontrollable circumstances and situations that you might find yourself in due to no fault of your own.
Disease strikes male and female, Black and white, young and old. Imagine yourself newly married to the man of your dreams. Small town girl marries Big City man. He takes you out of Jim Crow Dayton, Ohio to glamorous New York City. Your Beloved Husband brings you to his parents home in Harlem ~~ the home of the Harlem Renaissance ~~ Seat of Black Culture. You take in the sights and sounds of the City. You and your true Love attend Yankee baseball games. Your husband a hard-working man eventually puts together enough money so the two of you can get your own apartment in the Bronx where after four years of couple time together God Blesses you first with a daughter then a son. Hubby comes through again and all of you move to your own home a house in St. Albans, Queens, New York.
In the beginning happy years but the demons once held at bay are slowly closing in. Little by little. .
To Be Continued…………………………………