What one word describes you best?

Tough

What is set as the background on your computer?

This is a clunky notebook so whatever comes up. Usually some sort of Nature scene.

If you have been to a foreign country name those you have been too?

Thanks to Uncle Sam I was stationed in Germany. I took vacation in Spain plus some of the surrounding European countries. I’ve also been to Nassau, Bahamas, Jamaica West Indies and Canada. Probably a few more that I can’t remember.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work?

Since I don’t like to cook Yes for cooking, plus doing laundry, sweeping, mopping, etc. Housework takes a lot out of me and after each task I must lay down. I’m exhausted. Frankly I need help with everything!

My room-mate does the Yard work.

If you were to move and your home came fully furnished with everything you ever wanted, list at least three things from your old house you wish to retain?

My cat Sylvester

Computer

And of course personal items.

What calms you down? Sleep. Being a high strung person the only time I’m really calm is when I’m asleep and sometimes not even then. However I’ve become very good at hiding my anxiety and internal panic. Sometimes that does not work and I get horrendous headaches which started in October 2017. Let’s hope the headaches go away in 2018.

What inspired you or what did you appreciate this past week? Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

I very seldom do or buy anything for myself especially during the Holiday Season as things are very hectic at work but I actually purchased some things I needed and wanted.

Same Sylvester/New Kicks

Happy 2018

On January 1, 2018 By dancingpalmtreesIn Uncategorized7 Comments

Happy 2018

The Return of the Fiery Spirit

On January 1, 2018December 29, 2017 By dancingpalmtreesIn Art, Artist, Fusion Poetry, Hodgepodge Poetry, Leonard Cohen, Poems, Poetry, Prose and Poetry, Uncategorized5 Comments

The Return of the Fiery Spirit

Happy New Year!!

TRIGGER WARNING! RED ALERT!

Yes I’m back. After a much-needed break during which time I gave myself the opportunity to reflect. My blog had taken off in a wrong direction. Basically I was caught up. Lots of frustration. Too many obligations and responsibilities. Trying to juggle this concept of balance and harmony neither of which I achieved. Therefore it was time to let go.
When you fly too close to the Sun like Icarus you burn or in these modern times burn out. A Fucked Up Life = A Fucked Up Blog. I’m not Wonder Woman. The older I get the more I’m willing to admit defeat. More people should pay attention to the expression Beating Your Head against a brick wall. Well I have a bloody head.

Every so often you need to say, “Fuck it All.’ Like in Gone Girl I’m tired of being the Amazing Amy. Sometimes you must walk away from certain aspects of your life. My body does not handle stress well. Finally around the time my laptop died I was having terrible headaches every day. Collapse. Nobody there to help me or pick me up. As always I was and still am on my own. My life had become a fucking circus of putting on acts of well-being. Now I begin to tell the truth of a life filled with failures and flaws. No perfection. No promises. No happy endings. We deserve or think we deserve happiness, peace, joy and prosperity but life does not owe you anything. In this life you get many unexpected “gifts.”

If God/Universe gave out report cards my would be filled with F’s. This is the truth I live with every day. Again I don’t sugarcoat anything. One can never go back. It’s like saying you’re still a Virgin after the hymen has been broken or a baby has passed through your womb. No returns.

I Am Not a Performance. I am Truth.

I don’t like to be typecast or put into a stereotype. That’s why I don’t take to so-called Life Coaches, Life Hacks, Therapists or sellers of happiness snake oils. I don’t do Affirmations or Memes. They are totally lost on me. You don’t need to be a happy person to have Happy Times. I’ve had many Happy Times and will continue to do so. Happiness itself is situational. Just like anyway else who is brave enough to admit it I Love certain aspects of my being, my personality, my looks but their are other secret areas that come to plague me at night. That allow me no sleep. Those are my demons and I welcome they. My demons are my closet companions. Reliable. Always there. Sometimes they even save me for where would they be without me. We are bound to each with an umbilical cord that stretches but never severed. To know me is to see a stubborn mass of contradictions. I’m a paradox wrapped inside an enigma.

Woman Deconstructed Renewed in Partial Forms

It is what it is. I follow my own mind and make my own decisions. I admit to being high strung, nervous, lacking patience and mercurial. Anxiety attacks are my normal.

Temperamental and sometimes ill tempered. Blunt. Straight. No Chaser. I’m not the Replacement Bitch. I AM THE BITCH. B.I.T.C.H. Being in Total Control of Herself.

Basically I wanted to trash this blog totally but I realized I needed the archives being that I lost many of my MS Word documents. Also I needed a break from this writing blog to focus on my Photography Blog Roaming Urban Gypsy. However after increased demand and support from my Subscribers I will once again serve up offerings of poetry, prose and opinion. On My Own Terms.

Bits and pieces of my Life were in the Pawn Shop. Set up life a Museum dedicated to my past. Slowly once located I went back whenever possible to redeem and rescue pieces of my past so I could reassemble it into the future. Remade and Renewed through my own efforts or at times lack of efforts.

When one world dies another is born. And most don’t care unless it affects them directly.

I’m the Pegasus Unicorn in the Room.

It’s a Cold Broken Hallelujah

Black WoMoon Rising 2018!

New York State Paid Family Leave | The State of New York

On January 1, 2018December 22, 2017 By dancingpalmtreesIn Uncategorized

https://www.ny.gov/programs/new-york-state-paid-family-leave

January 29th 2016 I attended the Paid Family leave Rally. Now Paid Family leave is a reality for New Yorkers.

Some of you may be wondering if I will be able to use the Paid Family Leave Law to care for Stephen. Sadly the answers is No.

Sadly the Federal FMLA Laws currently on the books exclude siblings. That’s right! Siblings are not considered family under the Family Leave Laws. If I was my brother Stephen’s legal guardian then it might be approved. I cannot afford to hire a Guardianship Lawyer so that’s the end of that story.

Another factor is that new Laws normally need to be negotiated into future Union contracts. The next contract for Union Museum Employees is the year 2020 long after my retirement so it makes no sense for me to put myself through the Human Resources purgatory. For those of you Not familiar with American Human Resources departments within companies whether For Profit or Non Profit, H.R. is only there to protect the company not the employees. “Nuff Said!

However the good we do in this life is most often not for us for but future generations.

The Return of the Prodigal Daughter

On January 1, 2018January 12, 2018 By dancingpalmtreesIn Alice Faye, cacophony, Duke Ellington, Lauren Bacall, Return of the Prodigal Daughter, Satin Doll, Stella by Starlight, Thelma Palmer Varner, Uncategorized, Veronica Lake3 Comments

Happy New Year

The Return of the Prodigal Daughter

Havana Heart Cabana

Blame it on the Bossa Nova

ROOM OF NOCTURNES

That Sweet Husky Whiskey Lauren Bacall voice back-lit by fruit and mint flavored jalousies was no match for the Gold, pearls, diamonds and rubies sparking against Obsidian skin. Sky high stiletto heels worn as birds of prey. Ready to strike at any given moment..

Gourmand cigarillos distilled in Gin.

Nubian Night Cinnamon Cinema.

Queen of the Smokey eye. One quarter open. Three quarters closed.

Her scorching nature aligned with me.

Hair fallen over one eye Aladdin’s Veronica Lake.

JoyBaieda Rueine was the ruin of many a poor man’s soul. An Enchanting Hazy Super Moon simmering coming to a boil just below the surface. A Sassy Sexy Sultry Siren. Springing up during the Gold Rush and leaving just as quickly.

Blame it on the Bossa Nova

JoyBaieda was an impromptu Madam when necessity dictated.

He Caught wisps of ghosts as she passed by. Softly illuminated by ambient light gentle rings of smoke formed Saturn’s Hallowed Halos around her womanly curvy body.

Truly she was a conversation Stopper. Men were lost in Ruminations absorbed in her sensuality.

We are Ebony Swans Ravens in Gilded Forests

Saturn’s Sunset Moon Rings

JoyBaieda Rueine slowly turned her elegant head barely acknowledging my presence whilst giving me that once over slow up and down visually assessment that Onyx Women are so very good at doing. Ever so gradually turning the rest of her towards me her lips opening beckoning yet the words burst the mood.

“This place smells like old mens ball sacs. It’s filled with filthy beer, whisky and gin soaked bums who look like they were just released from the local Bowery Mission hall. You’re operating a Holding Pen Wastrels! Are you running a homeless shelter populated with forlorn drunken losers? No. Wait. I just answered that question.

You promised me an elegant Bar & Grill serving upscale clientele. An elegant seaside Cabana. Now I feel like I’ve thrown my money down a sewer and invited all the Mole people to come in for cheap drinks on check day! The Eclipse will be here sooner than you think and you’re still not ready. And if we’re not ready. We can’t go and we’ll be left behind in the mid-1950s forever!

Pig headed bastard! You’re nothing but a Pretender to the Throne!”

Dream Lover Fantasy aborted. Bitch Mode in process. Engage. I felt like I was sitting in a cold damp mist after exiting a relaxing soothing sauna. Breath.

It took all the mental and emotional effort that Emerson Skreech could muster to form sentences that made sense. Word Selection. Operate. Emerson had to go through a mental flight plan each time he uttered a sound as he struggled with ill-fitting dentures as well as a pronounced lisp.

Breath. In. Out. In the midst of getting my scrambled thoughts into coherent words She made that serpentine motion with her tongue removing the salt from the edge of her drinking glass in one fell swoop.

Room John 3:16

JoyBaieda had consistently checked the dials, gauges, and meters wondering why the absorption rate was glowing so slowly that it was almost at a stand still. Formerly troublesome tremulous Nepenthes had ceased leaving their home-base making it even more difficult to feed the diameters so the process could continue. Even the formerly tremulous thermostat was silent. Quiet. Too quiet… Made her wonder if the Settlement would survive Then wonder why the Dayforming process had slowed down to the point of going in reverse.

Must employ the Wisdom of the Strix and their descendants The Nephilim

“There were giants on the earth in those days… the sons of God came in to the daughters of men and they bore children to them”. (Gen. 6:4) the Nephilim?

At that thought She spotted the little multicolored Whirlwind. As she watched it began to spin. As it spun it grew larger whilst moving in a circular pattern as it approached her. Then it began to take the form of a young man with a handle bar mustache, top hat and frock coat. Unexpectedly a beautiful young woman materialized along side him.