Holiday Empty Chairs


 

Their places at the Thanksgiving and Christmas tables have been empty in some cases for many years. Some say you have memories but you cannot speak with a memory and you cannot hug a memory. The tears last forever.

For the ones for which I have no photos I pour Libation and speak your name that your memory may never be forgotten. Wounds that will never heal. Tears that flow like a river into seas and oceans far from the distant shore.  Ase.

Delbert Callahan, Gladys Young, Linda James, Clarence and Mamie Finney and the list goes on of family and friends most taken from this earth way too soon meaning except for two all died in their 50s and 60s. Every year that I get older the more people my age who pass away. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be next and in what circumstances I will leave this earth.

Bernadine I still miss you so much. I carry your prayer card in my uniform every day. I still miss your smiling face and your laughter. However I know as much sorrow is in my heart your daughter and two sisters are hurting more than me and this year there will be no Christmas for your Loved ones.

bernadine-fitzgerald

 

 

Empty Chairs. Sorrow-filled hearts. Even though my parents have been gone close to twenty years I’ve never completely gotten over their loss and probably I never will. I still feel that ache Thanksgiving, Christmas and especially on Mother’s and Father’s Day which I don’t celebrate. When my parents passed away and I had to go through all their belongings and sort out things in their home one of the things I made sure went into the garbage was the Christmas tree and all the ornaments, even the ones dating back to the 50s and 60s because what sense would it make to have kept those things when the people who gave them meaning are gone? Of course now my space is the size of a postage stamp so I’m glad I tossed that Holiday junk. Since I never married nor had children it made no sense to carry on any type of holiday traditions. I make sure my brother Stephen has gifts and we go out on the town but I stopped decorating and sending Christmas cards long ago.

Fortunately this year I will be working on Christmas day and I am happy for the welcome distraction. My job will help me take my mind off what is a depressing holiday for me.

Share Your World – 2016 Week 50


 

https://ceenphotography.com/2016/12/12/share-your-world-2016-week-50/#like-21197

Share Your World – 2016 Week 50

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What is your favorite smell? What memory does it remind you of?

Roses. My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer.

mable-elizabeth-palmer-circa-1950s
Mom Mable Palmer

What type of pet do you have or want to have?

My Cat Sylvester. One day I wish I could have a cottage in the woods yet near the city where I could have even more cats maybe 3 or 4 kitties.

Are you usually late, early, or right on time? 

Early. Thank you Uncle Sam United States Army!!

For recharging, would you rather meditate, swim, walk, listen to music, write, read, yoga, qigong other?

SLEEP!!! However if I can’t get my naps in Soulful Struts where I walk and take photos, listening to music, writing and read are also good.

Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

That everything is continuing to go very well on my new work position. My job has now actually become enjoyable! I’m also Thankful that God has met ALL My needs, My Bills are paid and I was able to buy some gifts for my brother Stephen.

Looking forward to next week because I have some time off coming to me and I will be able to spend time with my Awesome Autism Guy Stephen Palmer!!  Stephen’s Group Home is having a Holiday Party this coming Saturday which I will try to be there, God Willing!!

 

 

 

Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter


 

An extremely moving talk about Rosemary Kennedy.  Please see the entire video at the bottom of this post. For whatever we think of the Kennedy’s especially Joe Kennedy I found myself listening to this talk from the perspective of parents with an intellectually/developmentally disabled child. Despite all their resources and riches the techniques, programs, services and medical care that is available today was not there in the 1920s/1930s.

In some parts of the film relate to the mother Rose Kennedy via my mother Mable Palmer. I can clearly imagine the frustration of placing your child in school after school waiting for the miracle result that never manifests even with all your wealth, power and influence.  Like the Kennedy’s our parents always impressed upon me that we must stick together. “Blood is thicker than water.”  As you know from previous posts I am very protective of my brother Stephen.   I also know and remember the stigma, shame and guilt my mother Mable Palmer went through in the 1960s/70s so it must have been even worse in the 1920s/30s.

Initially Stephen screamed. All. The. Time.  I don’t know how my mother managed. Dad went to work every day so he got a break.  After a time Stephen stopped screaming and eventually did speak but to this day he cannot carry on a conversation though he will listen to the other people around him and respond if questioned.

However my parents drew the line at any type of medical experimentation. Plus being working class obviously our parents especially our Mom were much more hands on. Daddy did take us out on the weekends so Mommy could get a break. They refused to institutionalize Stephen.

However having said that I cannot pass judgments on Joe and Rose Kennedy having Rosemary lobotomized. At that time a lobotomy was considered a cure for various types of mental illness.  I would guess they were at their wits end given Rosemary’s behavior. Sadly Rosemary Kennedy came out of the surgery totally disabled. She was the sacrificial lamb. Not a Happy Ending.  At that point in the documentary I wanted to cry.

I’m very glad that my parents did not put Stephen away into an institution. I’m grateful that Stephen and I grew up together. I remember back in 1989 when Stephen was placed into his current Group Home. Even though I was the one who worked to get him placed into a facility because my parents were becoming ill and could no longer care for Stephen, I cried the first night I came home from work and Stephen was not there running down the stairs to greet me.

Thanks to Eunice Kennedy Stephen did participate for many years in the local Special Olympics held at St. John’s University in Queens, New York.

Thank you to all the Kennedys’ who after witnessing this horrible event happen to their beloved sister worked to make things better for intellectually/developmentally disabled people today. No matter what side of the political fence you’re on without the hard work and tenacity of the Kennedy siblings we would still be in the Dark Ages of institutionalized warehousing.

See Willowbrook State School:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willowbrook_State_School

Thank you Rosemary Kennedy for being a transformation for good! God Bless you for now you reside in your Heavenly home well, happy, healthy and free!!

Thank you Lord God Jehovah for my brother Stephen Vincent Palmer. For all the progress he made in spite of the negative reports from those doctors back in 1963 when he was two years old.  God knew better because Stephen is one of His special children. Thanks to our parents who believed that Stephen could learn, who treated him just like any other child, gave him chores to do up to and including his abilities and disciplined him teaching him right from wrong so that today Stephen is a contributing member of society.  He is more than my sibling. He is my companion. My friend. My life long partner and I would never trade or ask the Heavens for a so-called “normal” sibling when I have the most perfect brother in the world!!

I Love You Stephen Vincent Palmer!!

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Rosemary, The Hidden Kennedy Daughter

Stylin’ Sibs and Family!!


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/stylish/#like-249669

Stylish

Stephen and I have been Stylin’ since we were babies.  I grew up as a Girly Girl. A real Clotheshorse especially when I was younger. I had more shoes in my closet than Imelda Marcos and after I moved into my own apartment the clothes bar in my closet broke under the weight of all my outfits!  LOL!! My Dad used to joke that I had to get dressed just to put out the garbage. I think that I took after my Aunt Thelma who had those same attributes and passed them along to me!!  LOL!!

I was never much on make-up (except lip stick otherwise I look like a blank slate), fake eyelashes or fake nails but since my job requires me to be on my feet for long hours bi-monthly pedicures are a must. I do get manicures but neat, short, clean with clear polish because I still must cook, clean the house and do dishes.  Of course hair care is a must!! As you can see from my photos I’ve had every hair style know to Black People from the 60s up to and including the present. Now I color my hair. I loathe gray hair. I do not look good in gray hair and let’s not advance my age more than it is already. Getting older should not include looking like a frump or a bag lady.  Yes, Vanity Thy Name is Woman!! LOL!!

My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer who was born in the small town of Davy, WV and raised in Dayton, Ohio also Loved to dress well. Her beauty and style are what captured the heart of my Dad Edward G. Palmer.

My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer.

My Paternal Aunts Thelma Palmer Varner and Helen Palmer Garcia.

 

Stylin’ Sibs plus Dad!!

 

 

 

 

Share Your World – 2016 Week 35


 

https://ceenphotography.com/2016/08/29/share-your-world-2016-week-36/#like-19322

Share Your World – 2016 Week 35

With your answers, please remember we are in the SYW world which may not always match our reality.

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List 2 things you have to be happy about?

  1. My brother Stephen
  2. My Cat Sylvester
  3. A measure of health and strength
  4. My Blogging Family

As always I get carried away and can’t just list two!!

If you could take a photograph, paint a picture or write a story of any place in the world, what and where would it be?

Hawaii. It’s a place that I’ve yet to visit and is on my list of places to Travel when Retired.

Should children be seen and not heard?

Sounds like what my Dad used to say when we were kids, “That children should be seen and not heard!”  Ha! Ha! LOL!! Well that did not work as I was always bugging him. I think he used to say that as a joke. Daddy would come home from work and even though he was tired he would get down on the floor and play with us if we were awake and he always took us places on the weekends to give my Mom a break.

I never had children but when my young cousins were little kids I took them many places and enjoyed their company. Child care can be challenging but I enjoyed babysitting them. I encouraged them to speak up to talk with me. In my opinion communication with kids is vital. Even if you disagree with the child or they say something completely off well that gives the adult the opportunity to explain to them about plants, animals, people and life in general. Always listen to children. They have wonderful unfettered imaginations!

List at least five of your favorite first names.

  1. DeBorah
  2. Stephen
  3. Edward
  4. Mable
  5. Thelma
  6. Helen
  7. William
  8. Eva
  9. Gladys
  10. Clarence
  11. Hattie
  12. Veronica

Yup!! These are all Family Names!!  I know this list is more than five but once you get started!!

Family Photo_Collage (1)
Family Photo Collage

 

Rufus & Chaka Khan – Once You Get Started

 

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

  • Health
  • Well-being
  • A nice clean safe place to Love. I Love Brooklyn!!
  • My Cat Sylvester.
  • Wonderful co-workers with whom I laugh and joke with about the nuttiness on our job.