I dedicate this song to my parents Edward and Mable Palmer and my Aunt Helen Palmer Garcia. I Love this song. Even though it is from my parents generation I can relate to every word she sings. The Lyrics have so much meaning especially for those who have lost loved ones.
A few nights ago I dreamed of Daddy and Aunt Helen. Stephen was in the dream also. Me, Daddy and Stephen were in our home in St. Albans, Queens, NY.
I was talking to Aunt Helen on our rotary dial telephone. Daddy passed away in 1995 Aunt Helen Palmer Garcia in 2010.
When I’m under stress and sad those I loved the most return to me speaking of happier times. That way I can once again be happy and joyful in a safe protected environment.
Ms. Charlene Bullard writes a blog called Faith to Raise Nate. We have been discussing inappropriate comments made by people in regards to our family members with special needs. Charlene’s son Nate is deaf/blind with Autism and of course most of you have met my brother Stephen. The catalyst for her posts was my comment to her about people asking me if my brother Stephen is like the character in the Rain Man movie. Please go to the above links for more information. The objective of Charlene’s posts is to educate people to not make assumptions about folks with special needs.
Disabled does not mean that person is living a half-life or needs or wants your pity.
Below is my comment to Charlene regarding Part Two of the Topic with some edits I made for this post.
This post is on point!! Excellent words of wisdom. As I read your advice I thought of Helen Keller who was deaf/blind and went on to live an extraordinary life.
In my experience I can understand when children ask questions because they are truly curious and want to understand. As for adults they are just plain rude and choose to be that way.
I recall an incident years ago in the museum galleries when a dwarf lady was viewing a painting and a little girl saw her. The little girl knew that the dwarf woman was not a child but obviously she was puzzled as to why and how an adult could be that short. So naturally she went over to the dwarf lady and just stared at her. You know when eyes are on you. So the dwarf woman turned around and at that point the little girl ran off. The Dwarf woman just smiled. She probably goes through this every day.
Seeing that reminded me of when I was 11 and my Dad and Aunt took us on a family vacation on Montreal, Canada back in 1970. During our vacation we met a dwarf woman who was giving tours of her parents house. Her parents were both dwarfs and the house was built to scale meaning everything was lowered to their level. Having never seen or met a dwarf before I desperately wanted to ask her why she was so short however my Dad gave me that look. The look that silently said “You’d better not say anything to embarrass me or be rude. I held my tongue. Just like back in those days dwarfs were called midgets which is a derogatory term. Later on as an adult I learned that most dwarfs or Little People have a condition called Hypochondroplasia a form of short-limbed dwarfism.
On the tour I did learn that the dwarf lady was married to a normal sized man. As for their children I never found out that information but I was taught as a child not to make fun of people and not to ask rude questions that are none of your business in the first place. After all growing up I did not like it when the other kids in the neighborhood made fun of my brother Stephen.
Several years ago the Little People of America had a convention in New York City. Museums were on their itinerary and I saw many Little People enjoying the artwork at my museum workplace.
Their places at the Thanksgiving and Christmas tables have been empty in some cases for many years. Some say you have memories but you cannot speak with a memory and you cannot hug a memory. The tears last forever.
For the ones for which I have no photos I pour Libation and speak your name that your memory may never be forgotten. Wounds that will never heal. Tears that flow like a river into seas and oceans far from the distant shore. Ase.
Delbert Callahan, Gladys Young, Linda James, Clarence and Mamie Finney and the list goes on of family and friends most taken from this earth way too soon meaning except for two all died in their 50s and 60s. Every year that I get older the more people my age who pass away. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be next and in what circumstances I will leave this earth.
Bernadine I still miss you so much. I carry your prayer card in my uniform every day. I still miss your smiling face and your laughter. However I know as much sorrow is in my heart your daughter and two sisters are hurting more than me and this year there will be no Christmas for your Loved ones.
Empty Chairs. Sorrow-filled hearts. Even though my parents have been gone close to twenty years I’ve never completely gotten over their loss and probably I never will. I still feel that ache Thanksgiving, Christmas and especially on Mother’s and Father’s Day which I don’t celebrate. When my parents passed away and I had to go through all their belongings and sort out things in their home one of the things I made sure went into the garbage was the Christmas tree and all the ornaments, even the ones dating back to the 50s and 60s because what sense would it make to have kept those things when the people who gave them meaning are gone? Of course now my space is the size of a postage stamp so I’m glad I tossed that Holiday junk. Since I never married nor had children it made no sense to carry on any type of holiday traditions. I make sure my brother Stephen has gifts and we go out on the town but I stopped decorating and sending Christmas cards long ago.
Fortunately this year I will be working on Christmas day and I am happy for the welcome distraction. My job will help me take my mind off what is a depressing holiday for me.
Stephen and I have been Stylin’ since we were babies. I grew up as a Girly Girl. A real Clotheshorse especially when I was younger. I had more shoes in my closet than Imelda Marcos and after I moved into my own apartment the clothes bar in my closet broke under the weight of all my outfits! LOL!! My Dad used to joke that I had to get dressed just to put out the garbage. I think that I took after my Aunt Thelma who had those same attributes and passed them along to me!! LOL!!
I was never much on make-up (except lip stick otherwise I look like a blank slate), fake eyelashes or fake nails but since my job requires me to be on my feet for long hours bi-monthly pedicures are a must. I do get manicures but neat, short, clean with clear polish because I still must cook, clean the house and do dishes. Of course hair care is a must!! As you can see from my photos I’ve had every hair style know to Black People from the 60s up to and including the present. Now I color my hair. I loathe gray hair. I do not look good in gray hair and let’s not advance my age more than it is already. Getting older should not include looking like a frump or a bag lady. Yes, Vanity Thy Name is Woman!! LOL!!
My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer who was born in the small town of Davy, WV and raised in Dayton, Ohio also Loved to dress well. Her beauty and style are what captured the heart of my Dad Edward G. Palmer.
My Mom Mable Elizabeth Palmer.
Mable Elizabeth Palmer ~~ My Mom
My Paternal Aunts Thelma Palmer Varner and Helen Palmer Garcia.
Aunt Thelma, yours truly, Aunt Helen HS Graduation 1977
Stylin’ Sibs plus Dad!!
Me and Dad
2002 MMC Grad
Me and an Army Friend
Me and the Borg at my old office job where I made more money and had a better life.
In the USA March is Women’s History Month. Borrowing a phrase I heard used I Declare and Decree this Black HerStory Month. Twenty-Eight or in the case of this year 29 days is not enough to celebrate the achievements of African Americans nor do we often hear about the accomplishments or even acknowledge Black Women so I Proclaim March Black HerStory Month.
First Honors and Praises to the Our Black Family Matriarchs. Our Queens! From what I’ve been told I am very Blessed and Fortunate to have family photos from my Dad’s side dating back to the 19th century. My Paternal Grandmother Eva Sophronia Gordon Palmer kept meticulous records recording the name of each ancestor on the back of the photos. The one Woman ancestor photo that does not have a name is a tintype and at some point the name either fell off or became detached.
I have only a few photos of my Maternal Women ancestors as my mother’s family did not have the money to either purchase cameras or pay to have their photos professionally taken. All have now gone onto to Glory and passed into eternity but even the 19th Century Queens who I did not get a chance to meet in person I carry not only their DNA but their strength, faith and fortitude to preserve in and over all circumstances. Ancestral Memories flow through my veins.