Anticipation: An Alternate Universe filled with Delusion of Grandeur at the County Fair of the State Asylum


An Alternate Universe filled with Delusions of Grandeur While at the  County Fair at the State Asylum

Personal business — Part I. To be continued…..

To quote poet Robert Burns, “The best made plans of mice and men often go awry.”

Life always intrudes steps on and muddies our beautifully laid out strategies.

However at least I did not have to endure the complaints & delusions nor watch those who do wrong get rewarded while those of us who are the wrong gender, race, ethnic group are cast to the side.

Sometimes I wonder how long must I beg for the crumbs that fall from the Masters’ table while thieves, cheaters, slanderers, liars, & haters enjoy the feast meant for the righteous. I guess it’s time for me to walk away, set my own table, & cook my own meal.  I’m my own chief, cook and bottle washer.

On that note I leave you with a poem I wrote which discusses the evolution of one of my romantic entanglements.

 

Anticipation’s Heart meets the Death Angel

He’s flying in today and my stomach/emotions (take your pick) have been all tied up in knots. The more I push my feelings aside the more they intrude on my life making unpleasant interruptions but I know when I see his goofy face with that bouncy walk I’m going to be overjoyed but I don’t want him to know that.

Worse yet he is not doing anything to me, except making me happy.

God help me extinguish this flame within my soul, my heart, my very being. I hope my heart will not be disappointed. He’s made me crazy inside. I can’t think. I can’t talk. Can’t follow conversation. What is happening to me?

Peabo Bryson – I’m So Into You

http://youtu.be/i6G1GE9DZ9U

Wishing On a Star

http://youtu.be/GooJBO4KWlE

God please tell me why my Ethiopian Star has risen over the land of Thrace.

It’s a meeting of mind, soul, and spirit. Joining what was once two into one.

Love Ballad

http://youtu.be/rZHgUQqiWDI

If you’re the one 30 years from now I still want to feel the fire.

Feel the Fire — 1978 Peabo Bryson

http://youtu.be/M4PyxOumgjQ

I can’t get the Carly Simon or the You’ve Got Me Feeling Emotions songs out of my head.

But alas my love upon your return our embrace once afire had become sterile like that of siblings, no longer the rapture of lovers.

Yes, the wick from the candle flickered weakly then finally burnt out, extinguished, quenched………

And the subway doors closed, the plane arose, I never to see your face again……..

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Inscriptional Musings on the Mark of Rejection


Inscriptional Musings on the mark of Rejection

I wish I was a combination of Cat Woman, Bat girl, & Storm, (but not Wonder Woman, she’s too wholesome, but I do need her Cloak of Invisibility) so I could fend off the slings & arrows of outrageous fortune.  So I would not have to step into the House of Pain without my armor.

To defend myself against the ‘haters’ my so-called friends and peers?

Slowly day by day I realize that I am not only one of the Called but She who was Chosen.

I’m a Misfit and OutCast, one who is always ostracized because I don’t fit in…  Forever the outsider, eccentric, oddball, nonconformist, rebel….

Some say I have a gift not knowing the gift comes with a steep price. Every day I pay to receive daily anointing for my calling stigmata burned more deeply into my flesh.

Sometimes to relieve the pain I wish that I could step out of this body and back into the Universe from whence I came.

Often I’ve wondered if the rejection will ever end and just when I think my footing is solid the rug is pulled out from under me, ground shakes, breaks in two and swallows me up to endure a new round of punishment for actions inherent, a lifestyle gifted to me from Powers Above.

My only acceptance comes from the Beloved and I eagerly await His return. Once more He shall revisit my tortured soul to carry me back to the gates of Paradise forever to be united with Angels and Ancestors transitioned to Glory.

Rejected Angel
Rejected Angel

Christina Aguillera – Beautiful

http://youtu.be/QcUnFL1AhPw

 

 

 

 

 

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Pains’ Release Towards Paradise


Phoenix arising from the Ashes

Exquisite pain to the point of Nirvana.

Ascending the ladder of pain, sorrow and suffering; drawing ever closer to the Ancestral God.

She burnt away all the dross revealing the Phoenix.

Phoenix made her return journey across the trail of tears finally reaching the seas, where she released the Dove who made her voyage back to Africa seeking Noah’s Ark so she could free all other imprisoned souls.

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Forgiveness of a Mother’s Love


Mable Elizabeth Palmer
My Mom, Mable Elizabeth Palmer

Forgiveness of a Mother’s Love

A Mother’s Love reaches across hills, valleys, rivers and streams.

Across the eons of time and universe to hear her child’s cry for help.

I knelt at her feet, my head in her lap. The lap containing the womb of the Goddess who gave me life.

Her arms bridge the gap between this life and the next. My face cupped in her hands of redemption seeking salvation.

An outpouring of forgiveness sweeps over me like standing under a waterfall with waves of compassion and love overflowing the empty spaces in my life.

Today’s Forgiving Fridays: A Big Lesson on How to Let Go

 

 

A Mother’s Love is all encompassing, all faithful, all trusting. Hope against hope. Faith against faith. Reaching across the void separating us, pulling me close to her breasts, within her very being, enveloping me in undying love.

Dedicated to the memory of my Mom,

Mable Elizabeth Palmer, May 2, 1930 – August 2, 1998

Mable Elizabeth Palmer

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Osiris & Isis


Osiris and Isis

Osiris & Isis
Osiris and Isis

Fallen – She is the stranger who walks in darkness beyond the campfire of redemption’s sweet light.

My astral soul travels back to the warrior. My spirit merges with his psyche piercing my body subsuming my mind.

My Beloved was rent in pieces, then scattered across the continents. Diligently I searched, gathering all that was him and laid him upon the altar.

Sweet earth lay under his head. The Book of the Dead on his chest. Anointed with tears of joy and sorrow he arose ever the mighty warrior. I gave succor to his rod of life restoring his spirit. His temple ablaze with anagrams and inscriptions from chest to thighs.

I lay at his feet his body on mine. My fingers explored the forests that grew on his chest and around his pure saber. We wrestled throughout the starry night all the while he gave me a new name as I birthed all the nations of the earth.

King Africa reigns supreme with the joined twin sisters of North and South America.

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