I’m not your Super Woman


Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. —Mike Tyson

 

Vanished from Nowhere

Sometimes when things Fall Apart people need to separate or be by themselves for a time. Sadly too many judge why a person stopped writing or whatever they were doing before. Since we never really know what’s going on in another persons life we need to support them in their decision.  Burnout. Re-calibrate. Who knows how long the sabbatical need be?

Broken or Breaking Free??!!

Time to eliminate the unwanted commentary on Lives. People are too negative and just assume that they know what is right for somebody else without considering their situation. They settle into the Ass part of ASSume very well.

Steer into the Skid!!!

Isn’t the Truth so Extraordinarily Beautiful?? And I wear it so well!!

Don’t you see me bejeweled and beGemed. With Tiara, necklaces, rings, earrings and bracelets all jangling announcing my Royal Entrance??

Snapped but No Chat

Struggle is real. 

Electric Shock Please??! Spin like a Rotisserie Chicken!!??

Mental and emotional pain is like being inflicted with mold or virus with every extending tentacles. It gets all tangled up within your DNA, your mind, your soul, your thoughts and it cannot be dispelled no matter what you do. It may go away for a while but like a reoccurring nightmare it returns usually with a vengeance. It becomes your destiny. Like that stalker that the police cannot apprehend.

Write Pain. Write Agony. Write Loss. As extensions of Oneself.  My Consorts always waiting on me hand and foot. Swear like a Sail-lore in a Discount Junk store searching for merchandise buried under eons of Mummy dust.

Let’s stop trying to make everyone into Super Heroes. God is well able to speak to me or anyone else regarding the next steps in their lives.

So much judgement in the world and little or No understanding.  Why are people such hypocrites? Let’s just shoot out the street lamps with bb guns and pour libation on dancing corpses loitering in the avenues.

Beware the Ides of March for it’s next victim may be you!!  Your Brutus is just around the corner waiting. Waiting for your next steps. Don’t think that you can escape because you won’t. Life can take you in directions that you had no plans for.

One may fall asleep under the shade tree outbursts of vipers and snakes slithering through bushes and under the vegetation. Ribald. Psychological bullshit.

Let the talking donkey bring the professors salvation. Asses on two legs arrayed in bright robes. Dazzled by brilliance. Suckled on lies.

Fluidity of UnGuarded Moments

Keep in mind the Mole People. The homeless who live within the NYC subway system. They once were babies. They once had what we choose to call normal lives but now they must live underground hidden from the denizens of the day. Emerging only when necessity beckons. Not so much difference between you or the sewer people. The Rat Tribe is here to stay. Like a piece of unclaimed luggage going around in circles on the carousel.

Live your truth but don’t be critical of others truths for their are many truths within this multi-dimensional existence.

Alice Faye Tribute- “You’ll Never Know”

 

 

In the End Augusta, Frida and Georgia Won.

Comments are Closed for this Episode!!

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Emotional Healing ~~ Only a PipeDream


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/heal/#like-253021

Your body can heal from bruises, bumps, cuts and breaks but your mind can never heal from emotional, physical or psychological abuse.

I am a rape survivor. I was raped when I was 19 but the abuse did not stop there. Throughout most of my adult life I have been the object of sexual harassment, domestic violence, bullying, workplace violence etc…  For a long time I tried to cover up my wounds by going to church, reading my Bible, prayer, exercise, having productive hobbies such as photography, practicing Buddhist meditation, getting out into Nature, affirmations, playing Gospel, Inspirational and uplifting music, read books that are supposed to show you how you can get deliver from your thoughts, listening to progressive positive videos and podcasts, and so on. You name it I’ve tried it or am still using these strategies.

During the last 40 odd years I’ve been hospitalized repeatedly for Depression. I’ve been on all types of anti-depressants and psychosis drugs/pills to no avail. I spent two weeks on the psych ward as a prisoner at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn, NY. One of the worst hospitals in New York.  I was forced to take medication that caused panic attacks, breaks with reality, hallucinations and everything else these drugs are supposed to fix. I saw things there that scared the hell out of me and frightened me so badly that I promised myself I would never return to the hell hole again.  Just thinking about that place causes nightmares.

Believe me when I say that the cure is worse than the disease.

After being released from Dante’s Inferno I began to realize that I will never escape the effects of the trauma. I will always have flashbacks, nightmares, triggers, night terrors and fears that nobody except those who’ve gone through my experience can understand. I know I will never have a loving, caring relationship with a man because too much water has passed under the bridge and I rarely trust men. My history and my experiences are my reality no matter how many times I read or watch that book/movie called The Secret.

I still do all the things I stated in the early paragraph but now as I approach my sixth decade on this earth I realize that I cannot run away from me. I was looking for a fix or a cure that does not exist. I must accept my failures, flaws, and shortcomings because no matter what I do inside my mind I will remain the same.

However all is not lost as I know when I pass from Labor to Reward I will receive my healing in Heaven and my suffering will come to an end.  Finally I will find peace.

One thing that I will do when I see Jesus is ask him why I had to go through all this pain and what I did to cause it.  Was there something wrong with me. That is something for which I really want an answer.

So that is my response to today’s word prompt despite the fact that I know folks won’t like my words and will say that my feelings and emotions are not true or valid but deep inside I know that my truth is my reality no matter how much I try to change it. You can’t run from yourself.

 

Share Your World – March 27, 2017


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Share Your World – March 27, 2017

Share Your World – March 27, 2017

Does your first or middle name have any significance (or were you named after another family member)?

DeBorah is a Biblical name taken from the book of Judges chapters 4 & 5. DeBorah was a Judge over Israel prior to the appointment of kings.

DeBorah is a Hebrew name meaning Queen Bee.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Judges+4-5

I found this funny humorous definition at the Urban Dictionary. I agree with everything except the “men want me” part. So far no Prince Charming has come along for me in my 58 years of living!! LOL!!  🙂    😀  

Hebrew spelling. Also means The Bee and to speak eloquently Deborah’s are usually sophisticated, witty, intelligent with a great sense of humour. Other women are usually jealous of Deborah’s and men want her.
Woah… I met this fantastic woman in this classy art gallery on the weekend her name must be ‘Deborah’
As for my middle name Ann my Mom and her sisters all agreed that any girl children they had would all have the middle name Ann therefore all my female maternal cousins have Ann as their middle name.

Music or silence while working?

When I worked in an office I had a small radio in my cubicle. We were allowed to listen to our music as long as we kept it low. I enjoy music as it uplifts the spirit and makes the day go by faster. Now I work in a Museum which has a restaurant on the lower level so whatever they have on their computer playlist is what I’m compelled to listen to!! No choice!! LOL!!

If you had a special place for your three most special possessions (not including photos, electronics, people or animals), what would they be?

I suppose a Safe Deposit Box. I used to have one and those places are really secure. I remember being accompanied by a bank employee and going through several heavy duty chamber doors that reminded me of the beginning sequence of the old time TV Show Get Smart!!  One of my favorite Old School TV Shows. LOL!!  For you young folks here is the Get Smart theme:

 

The Never List: What are things you know you never will do?

Bungee Jumping and Hang Gliding!! To tell the truth any Extreme sport. I’m now at the age where I prefer staying safe and secure with my feet solidly on the ground! Also I’m deathly afraid of heights!!

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

Had a health consultation with a Holistic Healer. I accepted her invitation to live a more healthy and productive lifestyle and God willing I plan to join her group focusing on holistic and organic ways to improve health.

http://www.empressiveherbs.com/

She focuses mostly on Women of African descent but only because Black Americans have high rates of high blood pressure and diabetes. Cancer is also a plague in the African-American community. Ladies of any color or race can join in. Yes I have high blood pressure and I’ve been told by my doctor that my sugar numbers are going up every years so I might get diabetes. Hopefully I can prevent this and not die an early death like my parents. Also if I can get rid of the arthritis without taking all types of horrible pills I’m down with the holistic natural game plan.

Another high note was I stepped up my Vitamin infusion health plan by adding CoQ10+ to my regimen. I have been taking the B 12 shots since last year. I only fell off in Jan. & Feb. because I had several meetings to attend for my brother Stephen. Got back on the Vitamin Infusion wagon early March.  The Vitamin injections do help but like any health strategy you must be consistent.

Reviv

http://www.revivme.com

As for the upcoming week I’m looking forward to entering and celebrating the month of April and praying that old man winter will finally release his grip on New York.

 

Photo from Cee Neuner

 

 

Hideout and the Final Escape


 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/hideout/

Hideout

 

One Word Photo Challenge: Escape

One Word Photo Challenge: Escape

owpc logo 2

Part III: People, Places & Things

If you want to share a literal image of the actual word, do that. But if you’d rather play with word association, post something that reminds you of the specific word, or something you use the word for, do so. It only has to make sense to you. Have fun and keep on photographing!

owpc 2017

This week’s word is Escape!

 

To quote one of my parents favorite sayings, “What is Done in the Dark shall come to the Light.”

Mark 4:22

New King James Version (NKJV)

22 For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light.

 

The Gospel Harmonettes-No Hiding Place Down Here

 

BeBe & CeCe Winas – No Hiding Place

 

 

 

 

 

Share Your World – January 23, 2017


 

Share Your World – January 23, 2017

Share Your World – January 23, 2017

share-your-world-syw

fruit-vs-fruit-juiceDo you prefer juice or fruit?

A difficult choice. Juice is more convenient because you can carry a bottle of juice with you and it is not messy to eat whereas with fresh fruit you’re peeling the fruit and creating a mess. On the other hand obviously fresh fruit is better because sugar is added to most juices unless you do home juicing of fresh fruit but that too is time consuming. So I’d say juice on the job ~~ fresh fruit at home.

Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

Big Town. The Big Apple. Yes I Love it. When I was younger and my Maternal Grandmother and Aunts were alive I used to visit them in Dayton, Ohio. Talk about boring. No I could never live in a rural or suburban community where there is nothing to do and you must drive everywhere. Despite my complaints about the New York City MTA for Non-Drivers like me our Transit system makes New York an excellent place to live.

If you were to paint a picture of your childhood, what colors would you use?

All the Colors of the Rainbow because for me childhood was pretty much carefree. Red, Blue, Green, Purple, Orange… anything bright. It is only when I got to adulthood that things became murky grays and muddiness.

Ways to Relax List: Make a list of what relaxes you and helps you feel calm.

SLEEP!!!!!

Spending time with my brother Stephen who is an Awesome Autism Guy!! Hooray!!

Time with my cat Sylvester.

Writing.

Photography in good weather.

Listening to music.

Watching videos/films/movies on Netflix and YouTube.

Going to any of New York City’s Botanic Gardens when the weather is good.

Hanging out in Central Park.

Spending time exploring the streets, places and faces of Harlem my Dad’s birthplace and where he grew up. Also one of the greatest and best Black History spots!!

Attending Cultural Events in New York.

Going to the beach even though I have not done this in years. With my work schedule virtually no time.

Visiting Museums other than the one that I work for!

Reading even though I’ve had to cut back because of problems with my eyesight.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

 

Passed an exam and obtained a license required for my job.

As for the upcoming week perhaps I can go back to getting my B 12 shots. I had to stop because of meetings with my brother Stephen’s Group Home/Residence and his training center, then last Friday I had to take that professional exam. Since not receiving my B 12 shots I’ve noticed I’ve been more tired.  Self-care is so difficult because with my long hours at work and caring for Stephen my needs fall to the bottom of the list. Of course as you all know I Love my brother Stephen more than anything so I’m willing to sacrifice my time for his. He is more important. I always wonder about these folks who talk about Self-Care. They must not work, be retired, or are self-employed or just filthy rich!!

 

Picture courtesy of Cee Neuner!! ❤  

 

 

 

 

Sibling Stories


 

 

Sibling Stories

This is the first of what I hope will be many Sibling Stories about the siblings of developmentally disabled adults. The siblings are often overlooked and there does not seem to be much in the way of programs or services that address the needs of siblings so I’ve decided to do some blog posts to highlight the lives of siblings. Our needs, hopes, dreams, goals and desires. We are multi-faceted and multi-dimensional.

The first in this series is my buddy and former co-worker Mr. Harvey Lackey. I had the pleasure of working with Harvey for four years. He is a young man filled with joy, happiness and a quick wit.

Please enjoy and give his music a listen.

Also please remember my Theme Song Jingle!!

Don’t hate! Communicate!! Collaborate!! Listen to your Heart and Donate!!  To Agencies and Organizations that provide support services and programs to Developmentally Disabled persons!! Thanks!!

Harvey’s Story

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Living with an developmentally disabled sister is a job and work in progress. You always have to keep one eye open to keep her safe. Conversation wise is not easy on my part, because she is limited in some ways with conversation & i’m not really a talkative person and i’m constantly busy. Living with 2 other older sisters & mother makes it easier to deal with. She influences my music a in some ways and she loves listening to the radio a lot in her free time. She was under care at a program called AMAC and currently under a program called IAHD.
Bio:
Ras (X) is a producer/MC/Underground Indie Artist & was born in New York & raised in the Bronx. He loves hip hop, & has been a fan since the ’90s as a kid growing up. The artist’s and songs that really got him wanting to produce & MC was 2Pac, Nore’s “Banned From TV” & Canibus. After hearing 2Pac’s All Eyez On Me, he thought, I have 2 try 2 write sum lyrics. He would spend hours writing rhymes & trying 2 imitate various rappers flows & lyrics. Also, he is a huge fan of that mid ’90s-early ’00s sound. He try’s 2 get his music 2 sound like that era in the best possible way. He is a workaholic, & spends as much time possible making beats & just trying to stay on top of his game. The moniker “Ras (X)” comes from his middle name Rashid, shortened to just Ras & the (X) is unknown, meaning it could mean anything, such as Ras (X)-Cellent, Ras (X)-Man, Ras (X)-Troadinaire & so on.
Ras (X) loves the process of making music. It can stem from mood, experience, everyday situations or short notice ideas. In other words, it’s very sporadic. Hearing the finished product is what drives Ras (X).
Production Credits: Aye Nyce, BillzZz, Da NaughtY, Jerms Black, D-Will, Larry Bondz, Mic Bookz, Epik, IRA, Joey Jesus, Kapi-Ku, Soe Sykk, Just Biz, Sun Zee & more
To reach Ras (X), email him at:
Check me out on FIYA and be sure download the FIYA app from the store on ur tablet or phone:
OR
Instagram:
Twitter:
Facebook:
(X)-Clusive Interview wit da Ras here:
*4 albums, music videos & beats checkout:
Datpiff:
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Troglodyte Incursion


Troglodyte Incursion

Enter the great unwashed masses. Sprinting greedy effigies racing past eons of art, music, and literature oblivious to beauty serenading a few keen chosen listeners. Rampaging ill-mannered thoughtless grotesques concerned with filling swollen bellies with endless Pablum unable to digest nutrient rich low hanging fruit readily displayed within the garden.

Plodding, pushing and heaving along like a sea of hairy troglodytes with cameras suspended from no neck bodies. Vermin with whose wallets and purses are ready ATMs doling out money for designer duds and Apple technologies.  Lipsticked hydras crashing colliding corridors rampaging through the galleries like so many porcelain shop bulls.

Gargoyle
Gargoyle

 

Sentinels posted to hold bay destructive stretched out grasping talons.  Buy! Buy! Buy! Said the Barker to the throng who willingly sell the souls to the highest bidder. Comical costumed gargoyles begging for Fashion Police disciplinary action.

Pungent Yeti-Sasquatch body odors invading my space. Breath like fire lit manure emanating from their unbrushed oral cavities. Their joint cavernous maws eating, chewing spitting belching pollution into once refined atmospheres.  Mischievous imps on hunting expeditions looking to capture but never to absorb. Cramming for ungiven exams thereby failing all cultural and social graces. Not once pausing to study only to add to collections trapped in snapshot memories bound for jealous friends and relatives who failed to make the pilgrimage.

Yes tomorrow returns of the holidaymakers who desecrate the House of Learning.