When I was a child there was a program called the Wide World of Sports. A Man’s Voice transposed over a series of sports videos announced the Thrill of Victory and The Agony of Defeat. Well I have come to and must admit to the Agony of Defeat.
I am not the strong woman who I used to be and others might think that I am. My Life in particular my health is totally Out of Order and I’m Not Okay nor is my situation likely to get better.
First of all I want to Thank the 3,318 Followers/Subscribers who have stuck with me over the last six years.
As some of you who have been following my blog for the last four or five years might know sometimes I’ve alluded to my health challenges. I try not to dwell on my health challenges because I don’t want my blog to turn into one giant sob story. You’ve been with me during my attempts to better my overall health and perhaps heal certain conditions in my body. You’ve read about me changing my lifestyle, trying to improve my diet within the restraints of my budget, trips to the health food store, my limited time at the gym until my right knee gave out, my Soulful Struts (walking exercises) which have now come to an end, going with my Japanese Buddhist girlfriend to her temple in the hopes that mediation and/or mindfulness would help me (Nope, I’m way too hyper), Bible Studies, etc….
However now it is not just extreme joint pain but I’m also having difficulty breathing, going up and down stairs is torture, bending, walking, etc… is bodily punishment. Chronic pain along with chronic insomnia is not something I’d wish on my worst enemy. Plus problems with my vision still persist.
I can hear the voices saying I should go to the doctor. Been there. Done that. In fact since I had my stroke in Nov. 2008 I’ve been to the doctor and hospitalized over two dozen times. Nothing helps. In fact some of the medications they gave me in the past made things worse. Another negative factor has risen it’s ugly head. Cost. The prices for co-pays have doubled and in some cases tripled. Now I don’t even make $35K a year in a city where you need to make $70K to live comfortably. So if I must choose between going to the doctor or eating, paying my rent, utilities and transportation well the doctor loses.
Somebody else chimes in well DeBorah you are a Veteran why don’t you go to the VA Hospital? Well if you live anywhere in the U.S.A. you know that the VA hospitals have the worst reputation in the entire country. You either go on a very long waiting list, never get seen and die or they misdiagnose you and you die. Either way you die.
Basically health care in America is for the very rich and the very poor. Nothing for the working class. People who are married or have some family support can fair better during illness. I have neither. I’m forced to admit failure and defeat. Not a pretty picture but I’m a Realist.
Anyway I said all that to say this; More than likely I probably won’t be adding much to this blog. It will go into limbo because I don’t have the strength to keep it up. All Good things must come to an end. At first I thought about deleting it altogether but decided against that since I have some wonderful poetry, stories and commentaries going back six years.
It’s been a good run and thanks for the encouragement, support and memories. I might make an appearance from time to time but those will be brief, far, few and rare.
However I’ve decided to focus completely on my photography blog Roaming Urban Gypsy: https://roamingurbangypsy.com/
You can find me there.
I’ve Closed Comments for this post as there is nothing else to say and I do not wish to respond to any comments.