Live from Bodega Land, Brooklyn

Raggedy Man ~ Close Encounters of the Wrong Kind

Every day before I get on the C train I buy my Daily News, Snapple and a snack. Today was no different. As I’m picking up my items for purchase some raggedy dentally challenged man is having a debate with a sister on being a gigolo. Snagglepuss was bragging on some dude who has a woman who works, pays his way, takes care of their kids and allows him to be lazy while he plays video games. The Sister said if a man wants to assume the wife role then he needs to perform wife duties; i.e., cooking, cleaning house, doing laundry, taking care of kids, etc…. not laying up playing video games. Pumpkin head didn’t like her answer still wanting to be King of the Castle without being a breadwinner. Meanwhile the Arab guys who own the bodega are laughing their heads off.

The entire conversation was so stupid and Mr. No Teefus followed me and the sister out the store trying to drag me into the conversation with “I don’t like these role changes. They ain’t no jobs out there!” I told him you need to stop being so lazy, get an education because there are jobs available. I wanted to add, “Yo’ funky ass needs to take a bath, cut or comb wiry shit you call hair and get some damn dentures and stop using sob stories trying to pick up women. Drinking and trying to con the Arab storeowners out of cigarettes, candy & soda is not an occupation. Neither is drug dealing and robbing working class people. No Negro you do not have the hook-up. You just a sorry toothless wonder looking like a decrepit Alfred E. Neuman!

Calling All Dentists! Please move to Brownsville & Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn ASAP! There is an epidemic of dentally challenged toothless men wandering the Hood in need of Dentures!