Woke up this morning with a terrible stomach ache. Thank goodness I’m on vacation otherwise I’d have to go to work sick. I think the stress of my current situation is finally getting to me. Had plans to go out, walk around and explore but right now I need to be near the bathroom. Will spend most of the day in bed. At least I can still make phone calls. At this point I’m really worried. I feel like this is going to be a long drawn out process. Already I feel drained. Plus I have another very difficult and sad decision to make concerning one of my cats. Looks like he will have to be put down. But at least he won’t suffer anymore. Seems like bad luck all around. Oh well. Another thing to suck up and put on more fake smiles and phony laughter despite the fact my heart and soul are broken into pieces.
This act did not pass otherwise I would not be having my current troubles. Hopefully it will be reintroduced once again and pass this time. I’ve been working closely with my contact at my Congressman Hakeem Jeffries office as well as my union DC 37. These last seven years have been a real struggle for me and Stephen and I’m hoping that soon we can stop struggling and start living. We are ready for a breakthrough.
Many of you will remember my previous post A Greater Love where I shared an article the New York Times did on my brother Stephen and me. (See Below Links) The article discussed my difficulties in getting time off from my job to care for Stephen who has Autism.
Last year I had applied for FMLA (Family Leave) and was denied. Since I am a Union Member (DC 37) I have been in close contact with my Union Reps to resolve this situation. On Monday September 28th there was a special union meeting where one of the DC 37 Counsel came to discuss our rights under the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). During the question and answer period I shared my situation regarding my brother Stephen and later spoke to the Counsel privately. He advised me to go to court and apply for Legal Guardianship over Stephen. Guardianship would give me the same rights as a parent and my workplace would be forced to grant me FMLA.
I am now in the process of researching and seeking out a Guardianship lawyer. My union does not offer that. They only have Labor Lawyers but they have promised to put me in contact with a Guardianship Lawyer. Thank God for DC 37 and Unions. Naturally I’m doing my own searches and asking around. Hopefully since I don’t make much money maybe someone will take my case pro bono or for a reduced fee. Just in case I’ve been doing lots and lots of overtime in order to pay legal expenses. Yes my feet, knees and back are killing me and I’m experiencing lots of physical pain but I would do anything, make any sacrifice, take any risk to be able to care for my brother in a proper manner. If you really Love someone you would give your life for them so their life could be better. This is why I have not posted recently and more or less put my poetry on the back burner. Stephen will always come first and I’m willing to put aside my wants, dreams and desires so that he can have a happy and fulfilling life.
So far Legal Aid, Brooklyn Bar Association and Brooklyn Legal Services have all been a dead end for me. None of them do Guardianship cases. Therefore I must appeal for donations. Please donate to help me obtain guardianship for Stephen and the right to FMLA via my PayPal account at deborah.palmer280@gmail.com
Fears evolve over time. What is one fear you’ve conquered?
Public Speaking. I was terrified of public speaking but in my last job as a manager at a major non-profit I was forced to overcome that fear when the Executive Vice President told me that I was going to give a presentation regarding a proprietary software our company had developed to the city agency that was funding the project. Actually it was a presentation and training in one. When she told me about the presentation of course I said yes and smiled because she was my boss but inside I was quaking like a volcano ready to explode. At first I was thinking of ways to get out of the task then I realized that would not bode well for my career so I buckled down, made a study of the software which was a social services database, created training materials, and dived right in.
When the day of reckoning came I did so well that the higher ups at the city agency came up to me, complimented me and one even said he wished I was working for his city agency! Wow!! Way to go me! A few years later after deciding to return to college for my Bachelor’s degree I had to take a Public Speaking class. Even though it was my job to give in-house and external software trainings the class still made me nervous. However the professor did her best to put everyone at ease and when she saw you had did your homework and were giving the speeches your best she would work with you. I received a B grade in this class.
MMC 2002 Graduation
Now in my current job as a security guard at an art museum I deal with the public every day. No I don’t give speeches but this position has enabled me to step up my communications and customer service skills. Not only must I know the layout of the building and where everything can be found patrons often expect security officers to know something about the art also. In some cases I can provide them with information on the various artworks but if I don’t know I can suggest they take one of the many Free Tours the museum offers. You really have to think on your feet because you deal with visitors from all parts of the world and many different cultures. In fact if giving museum tours were a Paid Union job as opposed to a volunteer position done by docents, I would gladly jump on the bandwagon because I know nearly as much if not more than many of the tour guides. Even though I majored in English I really enjoy art and am constantly trying to self-educate myself on different art genres and styles either by reading books or watching videos about the world’s great artists.
So I’ve come a long way from that petrified young woman who thought she was going to faint in front of an audience. Now I’m a mature self-confident older woman who is happy to help people by sharing knowledge and insight on subjects I love.
Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit 