Dreams for Our Siblings


 

This young woman’s story of caring for a developmentally disabled sibling mirrors mine and Stephen’s story in so many ways.  It is a struggle to do this on your own and many times you cry out for someone to help you. However I discipline myself and put my desires and dreams on hold so Stephen can have a better Life. My needs always come second. Sacrifice is a way of life yet sometimes I don’t feel like I’m doing enough for my brother. I feel in many ways I could do better so I’m always searching for ways to be a better Sister for Stephen. That’s why I work the overtime to better my life so Stephen can have a full life.

Stephen’s Big Heart

This past Halloween as always I supplied Stephen with his costumes. I tend to buy Halloween costumes way in advance. I work extra overtime then order them. Was not sure what Stephen wanted to be so I ordered one Medieval Knight Costume and a couple of Spider-man costumes. Why two Spider-man costumes? Because when you order things online you are never sure of the fit since you can’t try them on. Anyway Stephen told me in September that his desire was to be a Medieval Knight so I told his Residence that they could donate the other two costumes to residents who had no families to buy for them. Of course they consulted Stephen and naturally being a Big-Hearted Autism Guy who always wants to help people he agreed. So Stephen was happy as were two other residents. Things worked out so well that Stephen and I plan to make this a Halloween tradition as many of his friends have no families to help them out.  My brother Stephen is not only a Most Awesome Autism Guy in the world but one of the most caring, compassionate, kind and gentle people I know!!

If you can please send a donation to Shareen Williams so she can provide for her intellectually challenged Sister Raheida Harry. I will be making my donation this week.

 

 

 

 

17 thoughts on “Dreams for Our Siblings

      1. Ah! DeBorah…thank you for your insight and kind words!! I’m so happy you see where my words come from. Sending you warm blessings and JOY…for a wonderful Christmas with Stephen! ❤

  1. Not only Stephen has a big heart but his sister too! This is such a lovely idea with the costumes. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Deborah! I don’t know how many would dedicate their life to their sibling most of all when it takes quite a lot of yourself. How can you carry your heart all day. It must be so heavy from all that gold!!!

    1. Trust me when I say it’s not all gold. There is some rust in there too. There are many times when I lose my temper. I’m very outspoken and don’t hold back. Stephen does not make me angry he brings me joy but having to deal with certain managers at his group home, knuckleheads at my job well lets say I’ve blown up more than the most active earthly volcano!

      1. That’s why I can relate to the young woman in the New York Times article. I know what she is going through. It can be very frustrating as there are virtually no support services/programs for those of us caring for a disabled sibling. You are more or less on your own. As I was reading her story I felt we had a lot in common only her parents just left the two of them while our parents were supportive but both died at an early age. Lack of family support has been a major problem for her and me also. Many of my cousins don’t want to have anything to do with me or Stephen because of his Autism. We are flawed therefore we are rejected. That’s Life.

      2. That is heartbreaking, Deborah. Both! I cannot understand how people can still look into the mirror while close relatives are left to their own devices. Why ever it had to be that way…. but you are still so full of compassion and love and did not get bitter. As I said, you are a beautiful being and a role model! Sending you my warmest embrace, Deborah 💖

      3. Thanks. The few cousins I have in New York rejected us a long time ago. We are pariahs and outcasts. I’m used to not being wanted. So I stand alone. I have learned not to look to others for help. Once you are disabled this world is done with you. I’m here to protect Stephen just like the woman in the article protects her sister for the world is a cruel and lonely Planet.

      4. Don’t overlook all the people who are dedicating their lives for others in need. They are volunteering and not getting any money. They doing it from a place of love! Or those who are working in those institutions that gives your brother a home. All the care takers! There are so many. The heart-breaking thing is when relatives turn away only because they cannot deal with it. But we are not meant to only call relatives our family. Family is where love lives. And sometimes those people can be strangers in the beginning. Just look at yourself. You are giving so much. There are more wonderful people around than you might think. Perhaps your upcoming move will bring you towards a surrounding that is more loving and supporting!

      5. The direct service providers in Stephen group home are paid staff albeit low paid as are home care workers. Try living on $10 an hour where rents are over $1000 per month.
        I don’t see myself as others may see me. in my eyes I will always be an outcast and a reject. I’m not special or good in any way.
        There are horns holding up my halo.

      6. I think we all need some horns! But that that doesn’t mean we are full of love. As I said, such jobs are done because the people who are doing it feel it as their purpose. It is a shame that they are paid so badly. Therefore they need to be apprecated even more!

      7. Reality bites. America rewards and idolizes the rich and famous. Nobody cares about the lower echelon or the working class. We are about to see more abandonment, poverty and isolation after January 20th when the tyrant takes over. Evil gets rewards. People doing good are kicked to the curb.

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