Life in the ‘Hood’ — Ganja Granny

This is an old post from 2011 but I decided to update it with an appropriate Tyler Perry video.

Ganja Granny

Senior citizens are not what you think they should be.  These old coots bring new meaning to “Puff Daddy.”  I think some fossils went on LSD trips in the 1960s and never came back!

One Wednesday I was doing my laundry with several of my neighbors when one of the dizzier elders came in with her laundry. This woman is totally discombobulated.  She couldn’t remember which washers she left her clothes in then she couldn’t decide which dryers in which to place her clothes.

During the course of this drama she lost her laundry card. We no longer use coins but cards similar to credit cards.  She accused two young men who had just come in the laundry room of stealing the card while they were on the other side busily stuffing their clothes into two of the large machines totally oblivious to her.   Of course she made no sense.  Meanwhile she’s erratically helter-skelter looking for this damn card. The freaking card was on the floor.

Oh yes sometime during this travesty she joined into the conversation that I was having with my other two neighbor ladies to discuss the benefits of smoking marijuana.  She proceeded to tell us how it opens up the arteries in the back of your retina.  My neighbors and I gave each other knowing looks as we silently agreed that she had smoked way too much mary jane and in my head I speculated that maybe back in the 1960s she went on an LSD trip and never came back.

Most pot smokers are not that disoriented so I think that sister cut her weed with something else, however the munchies part worked very well as she appears to weigh about 300lbs!!  I think she took those Cheech & Chong movies to heart!!

Fake Pee
Fake Pee

Now you know how those old folks in their 60s and 70s really pass all that free retirement time. Next time you get that contact high as you pass through the hallway in your building it’s the seniors not junior you need to be worried about.

“Pass the dutchie on the left hand side.”

Outrageous is the word for many of the older people in my apartment complex.  There’s the lady who has regular chats with President Bush. Whether it’s Bush 1 or 2 I don’t know.  She also claims to have dealings with the FBI & the CIA.

Several years ago there was the older gentleman who came down to the laundry room dressed in women’s clothing playing C&W music on his boom box.  He was an alcoholic who crashed so many cars the development took away his parking space and finally he went off the deep end and his daughter came and got him.  He has since passed away.  Then there’s the elderly man dressed in the cowboy outfit with one pants leg rolled up talking about WWII, Obama and various other topics.

Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail – 2. “Self Medication”

Also there are the old “hot in the pants” geezers who constantly trying catch women my age or younger. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been approached by these Geritol junkies.  Why an old man 75 or 80 is still thinking about getting laid when he can’t even get it up without Viagra is beyond me.  Anyway I don’t want to see much less sleep with a man old enough to be my father!

Dear God please do not let me be nuts if I live to be in my 70s & 80s.

Here is a musical salute to all my 65+ neighbors!

Peter, Paul & Mary

Grace Slick & Jefferson Airplane

DeBorah Ann

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