People Don’t Flip, They Unfold


People don’t flip, they slowly unfold against an angry vindictive Universe bent on their destruction via Thunder lightning doses of physical pain.



Surrender


Poetic Moments of Pain

Life is a Broken Hallelujah


Hurt by Johnny Cash


Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen


Stay in your Lane


Recently I saw this Meme on Instagram.

A Private Life is a Happy Life

Usually I disregard most Memes as they are ridiculous, stupid and ignorant but this one resonated with me.

Over time I’ve been blogging less and less. Sharing less and less despite the cries of people who say my story matters.

In fact I deleted one of my blogs and have begun to delete many of my older posts. Contemplated deleting this blog also but it’s attached to my photography blog Roaming Urban Gypsy so it stays.

There are certain specific issues that I do discuss such as Austim in the hopes that my activism and advocacy will help other families who have developmentally disabled family members.

Of course Veterans since I am one and the ever present racism, bigotry and discrimination because well as a Black Woman in America that’s an every day experience.

However as far as my personal affairs especially concerning relationships, health, medical issues I’ve learned over time my parents expression, Don’t put your business in the street.

When you discuss your personal experiences online you open yourself up to ridicule, scorn and unwanted pity. People are not really empathetic and get off on reading about other people’s troubles so they can I’m better than so and so.

Of course everyone is different. Some people feel that being an open book is cathartic. For me sharing often makes me feel worse not better.

After a falling out with a friend I’ve known for over 35 years I realized that by telling someone I thought I knew, I only set myself up for judgment. As a result I play Public Face/Private Face. Much of the time I say what certain people want or expect to hear because they can’t handle truth. They live in a Disneyfied Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm world and reject any voice that doesn’t correspond to their expectations. Sometimes I will say stuff just to get people out of my face.

I maintain my Silence. For in the past I’ve had many regrets.

Now save for my creative endeavors the best parts of my life are not on social media. In fact I periodically disconnect from social Media. Once I retired last month August I vowed to live in the moment as much as possible. When certain specific folks that I highly respect asked me to share some of my poetic thoughts, photographs and creative moments I was happy to comply.

I still participate in many photography challenges because I enjoy them and I Love sharing, highlighting and showcasing New York city, my hometown.

Be Invisible.

Maintain your Mystery.

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Comments Apology and Thanks


 

 

I want to Thank All My Readers in Advance for their Comments.  The comments for this blog Do Not come to my email so it may take weeks for me to read and acknowledge them.  I programmed the Comments to stay in the Que because my life is so hectic and busy with the job there is no way that I can respond to anything in a timely manner. Working in a museum the Holidays are HellaDays.

The museum gets thousands of visitors. It is a blackout period for the staff so almost No days off.  Yes Christmas time might be celebration for some but as for me I’m glad it’s all over. I’m not a Christmas person. I don’t celebrate and people tend to be extremely nasty and rude during that time.  It’s like working in a Pressure Cooker.  Headaches, Stomach aches, pain = Christmas.  The last time I went to the doctor my blood pressure had rocketed skyward.  Why?  End year Holidays.

Ask anyone who works in a Customer Service position. Actually I’m sure the people in retail, department stores, transit and other fields experience that same Christmas dread. Hopefully this will be my last Holiday season and next season I will be retired. Then I can truly ignore Christmas completely and my life won’t be so screwed up. For me Christmas is like being thrown into a fiery pit with no escape.

The only thing end of year holidays due for me is to raise my blood pressure from all the stress! December is an entire month of making believe you’re happy when you’re not. Relief comes after Jan. 7th!

This blog and my writing in general is a Love/Hate relationship. How people make time to write books I’ll never understand.  Any book that I publish will most likely be a Photography book. Many times I just want to dump both the blog and the writing. That’s part of the reason I stopped and focused more on my photography.  Writing can be stressful and cathartic all at the same time.  In the future I’ll be taking more time away from this blog.  Sometimes you just need to walk away from things when they become too difficult.

Honestly I get more personal pleasure from photography than writing.  No matter how tired and exhausted work leaves me photography always rejuvenates me whereas writing requires a lot of planning and thought.  With a job like mine my brain is mush by the end of the workweek and I’m so tired and physically exhausted all I want to do is sleep.  Basically I just want to veg out and watch YouTube or Netflix. In fact I spend most weekends in bed especially now with this brutal freezing winter cold.

Eventually I do read all the comments.  However I do want you to know that I appreciate your feedback.  Sorry for the Universal response. I’d like to give each and every comment a personal response but at this time it is impossible.  Thanks for understanding.

Decorated or Defiled


 

Decorated or Defiled

An Old Year Happily Discarded

Slate fresh clean Brand New

 

Last year’s implosion old news

Broken, Battered and Beat Up 2017 has left the building

 

And We Danced. And We Danced. And We Danced. Until the Dream was over.

What we run away from is what may save us

 

That being Moxie and Mystery

 

Tapestry pulled into the murky underbelly of a concussion

Pain, sorrow and death are are bosom buddies  Boon companions following your every step.  I kissed a rose and bled deeply and profusely through the thorns.

Muddy Murdered Mannequins being dragged though slimy red clay

Bashed in heads semi-attached to conflicted torsos. Splattered blood pointillism across the magic carpets

There is a bird inside me pecking out my innards screeching release.

 

 

 

2018 is filled with Amplified Astronomical Moxie

 

Religion

“Absorb what is useful and discard what is useless.” ~ Bruce Lee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not your Super Woman


Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. —Mike Tyson

 

Vanished from Nowhere

Sometimes when things Fall Apart people need to separate or be by themselves for a time. Sadly too many judge why a person stopped writing or whatever they were doing before. Since we never really know what’s going on in another persons life we need to support them in their decision.  Burnout. Re-calibrate. Who knows how long the sabbatical need be?

Broken or Breaking Free??!!

Time to eliminate the unwanted commentary on Lives. People are too negative and just assume that they know what is right for somebody else without considering their situation. They settle into the Ass part of ASSume very well.

Steer into the Skid!!!

Isn’t the Truth so Extraordinarily Beautiful?? And I wear it so well!!

Don’t you see me bejeweled and beGemed. With Tiara, necklaces, rings, earrings and bracelets all jangling announcing my Royal Entrance??

Snapped but No Chat

Struggle is real. 

Electric Shock Please??! Spin like a Rotisserie Chicken!!??

Mental and emotional pain is like being inflicted with mold or virus with every extending tentacles. It gets all tangled up within your DNA, your mind, your soul, your thoughts and it cannot be dispelled no matter what you do. It may go away for a while but like a reoccurring nightmare it returns usually with a vengeance. It becomes your destiny. Like that stalker that the police cannot apprehend.

Write Pain. Write Agony. Write Loss. As extensions of Oneself.  My Consorts always waiting on me hand and foot. Swear like a Sail-lore in a Discount Junk store searching for merchandise buried under eons of Mummy dust.

Let’s stop trying to make everyone into Super Heroes. God is well able to speak to me or anyone else regarding the next steps in their lives.

So much judgement in the world and little or No understanding.  Why are people such hypocrites? Let’s just shoot out the street lamps with bb guns and pour libation on dancing corpses loitering in the avenues.

Beware the Ides of March for it’s next victim may be you!!  Your Brutus is just around the corner waiting. Waiting for your next steps. Don’t think that you can escape because you won’t. Life can take you in directions that you had no plans for.

One may fall asleep under the shade tree outbursts of vipers and snakes slithering through bushes and under the vegetation. Ribald. Psychological bullshit.

Let the talking donkey bring the professors salvation. Asses on two legs arrayed in bright robes. Dazzled by brilliance. Suckled on lies.

Fluidity of UnGuarded Moments

Keep in mind the Mole People. The homeless who live within the NYC subway system. They once were babies. They once had what we choose to call normal lives but now they must live underground hidden from the denizens of the day. Emerging only when necessity beckons. Not so much difference between you or the sewer people. The Rat Tribe is here to stay. Like a piece of unclaimed luggage going around in circles on the carousel.

Live your truth but don’t be critical of others truths for their are many truths within this multi-dimensional existence.

Alice Faye Tribute- “You’ll Never Know”

 

 

In the End Augusta, Frida and Georgia Won.

Comments are Closed for this Episode!!

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