Railroad Tracks


Railroad Tracks


Railroad Tracks going up and down her arms. A magnificent bloody detailed needlepoint. Crack pipe blues.  Give me an avalanche of poison for my rebirth.

You don’t understand my journey.  It is one of withdrawal.

I.V.   Drip, Drip, Drip, Drip

Glazed look in his eyes transfers to me giving me Restless Womb Syndrome. He kissed me with such fervor and hunger that I thought he’d eat me alive.  He did.

Another baby born for sacrifice.  Screaming. Shaking. Yelling. Crying. Wailing.  Babies future fodder for grottoes and guttersnipes. Prison Pipelines like those white lines going up her nose.

Running a Train.  Subway Icarus suicide. Fried Flesh scent lives in my nostrils brain memory.  A Train to nowhere and oblivion.













Acceptance | The Daily Post



Serenity Prayer

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ~~ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer

The Serenity Prayer is the common name for a prayer authored by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr[1][2] (1892–1971). The best-known form is:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.


The Weather ~~ Something that is out of our control. We can only listen to the weather forecast and prepare ourselves either to go out or stay inside.

Death ~~ A sure thing. We are all gonna die sooner or later. Guaranteed. Another thing we have no control over but we prepare by taking out life insurance so our families will be able to carry on without us, making a will and making our Peace with God in whatever way we worship according to our belief systems.

Taxes ~~ Unavoidable especially in the United States where the working and middle class pay more and the rich and wealthy don’t pay at all!!  Thirty percent of my salary goes to taxes which I would not mind if I could see some improvements being made in the American infrastructure but that is wishful thing!

The New York City Subway system ~~ Over 111 years old and gradually collapsing by leaps and bounds on a daily basis thanks to government neglect and incompetence. The recently opened 2nd Avenue subway took 100 years to complete!! This new line only benefits those who live on the Upper East Side!

The fares go up almost every year yet the service continues to deteriorate. The trains are often old and decrepit. Due to the massive increase in the homeless population people live and sleep inside the subway cars and on the platforms. The poor are always coming through the trains begging for money since the government has more or less given up on those less fortunate. Arguments and fights are commonplace. And as I related in a previous January post sometimes people commit suicide by jumping or walking in front of the fast moving trains knowing that the conductor and motorman cannot stop in time.  Most times it’s like living and riding inside a Charles Dickens novel. The tracks need to be replaced and the signal and switching systems goes out on a regular basis. You may or may not reach your destination. I leave my house two hours ahead of time to get to work.

I suppose the only thing good that I can say about the subway system are the various subway buskers/entertainers that take your mind off the fact that your train is late (actually I’m not sure if the subways are running on any type of schedule at all!) and provide weary commuters with a few moments of happiness.

See the below link from my photography blog Roaming Urban Gypsy:

Repurpose | The Talking Drums


MTA Enforced Exercise Program


The New York City MTA (Mass Transit Authority) has a secret objective to get New Yorkers in shape. Case in point when it snows and being that New York resides in the Northeast part of the country so it snows every winter, the subway and bus system breaks down, skips expected stops and unexpectedly re-routes trains so if you are traveling on the C line it will at a whim turn into the F line which are totally different stops. This forces you to exit the train at a subway station that you don’t normally use.  Plus since 2012 the MTA has been blaming nearly all delays and transit problems on Hurricane Sandy. It is now 2017 and the remnants of Sandy should have been cleaned up and fixed long ago!!

This will entail an entire route of cardio exercises causing you to walk some of the underground pathways which are nearly a mile out of your way, transfer to subway stations nowhere near your destination or walk in the freezing cold to bus stops way out of your way.

Case in point last weekend it snowed. Nothing new but I knew I would have to check the website MTA.Info for the latest updates on subway delays. I live across the street from my local subway station, C train, and a few blocks from the subway hub known as Broadway Junction. The A, C, & L subway lines are west side trains and I need to get to the east side where my workplace is located. Naturally the 4, 5, & 6 trains which are east side subway lines are the ones with delays. I cannot be late to work. That’s a No-no!!

Snow storm Nico/Niko was only fun for the kids because the Mayor closed the schools! Therefore last week I wound up taking the C train to 81st Street and walking through Central Park. For some people walking in the snow is picturesque but not for me. Ugh!! Snow! Ice! The kids were outside in the park having a mighty fine time on their sleds which appeared to me as enlarged upside Frisbee’s as opposed to the wood/metal flexible flyers Stephen and I had as kids.  Anyway only the children and the ducks in the pond enjoy blizzards! That is their element. However I digress. I walked through Central Park to get to the East Side then swung over to the last few blocks to my job. That had to be at least a 20 minute walk perhaps equivalent to a mile. Cardio plus resistance training since it is very difficult to walk through snow!!

Pretty much for the past week and a half with the snowstorm, freezing temps and ice cold weather the 4, 5, & 6 trains have made themselves extremely unreliable. I’m a person who is never late for work. I check that MTA website and make the appropriate adjustments to my travel plans. Nor when my shift finishes at either 12:30 am or 8:30 am if I do a double shift I want to get home in a timely manner. Once again I employ the MTA exercise plan which once the snow was kinda cleaned up I still had to use an alternate route. I really did not feel like more walks through Central Park so I took the C train to 86th Street and took the M86 Cross town bus and got off at 84th Street. Now my job is located on 75th Street so pretty much all week I’ve been walking approximately 10 blocks to work every day.

Many times because of switching and signal problems riders will often be unceremoniously deposited at a subway stop station not of their choice! I admit that the subway system is close to 115 years old!! Yes the trains are replaced and most of the lines have new updated trains but not so much the tracks the subways run on or the switches and signals which keep trains from crashing into each other!  I suppose it might be better to be dropped at subway station further from your job, school or home than to be in an accident. That’s why I allow for extra time.

Folks that is the MTA Exercise program. Not so sure it will cause you to lose weight. After all a few days ago it was Valentine’s Day and whether you have a spouse or not candy was in great abundance especially at my job!!  And I like to eat!! Other than foods I’m allergic to such as dairy products or conflict with my high blood pressure I partake of the workplace food spread!!





Final Destination | Game Over


After that terrible train accident it’s gonna be a long time before I recover emotionally and mentally. Just being trapped underground. Smelling burning flesh.

I feel like a character in those Final Destination movies where the people think they’ve escaped death but the Grim Reaper catches up to them. Bad enough to contend with the rats both 2 legged and 4 legged. Deranged riders. Evil smells. Filth. Dirt.

Seeing homeless people who are badly in need of not only shelter but mental health services riding the subways has become a nightmare. Now every time I step onto the train to travel into the city I’m gonna be reliving that accident and wondering if I’ll make it to either home or work. The whole thing was so disturbing.

My Panic Attacks have returned and my Anxiety Levels are off the charts. Just when I thought I had conquered and that I would get better this set back happens. Now it will take weeks even months for my life to have some semblance of normalcy.

You never know when Fate will step in and say Game Over.

My prayers and thoughts go out to the MTA workers especially the Motor man and Conductor who were unable to stop the train before hitting the man. That’s a terrible thing to live with. Knowing you killed someone even though it was an accident.


Heroic Moments

A transit worker gently cradling a little boy and keeping the mother calm as we waited for rescue. The instructions of the Conductor who kept going back and forth letting us know what had happened and leading us to rescue and safety. The Transit worker who helped me cross a large gap as two of the subway cars had become unbuckled.
Also Again I can’t say this enough Hats off and a Military Salute to the NYPD and the New York Fire Dept for their care and assistance.
Thank you for saving our lives and getting us out from what could have been a worse disaster. Keep in mind that most Police Officers and Fire Fighters are good decent people who risk their lives to save others and who are there for us in all type of emergencies.
Please keep all MTA Transit Workers, the NYPD and the Fire Fighters in your prayers.
Last but not least I want to Thank My Fellow New Yorkers who remained calm and followed the directions of the MTA, Police and Fire Fighters. Despite that inner fear everyone worked together to help each other get to safe ground. 










Horrible Subway Train Accident


Horrible Train Accident on the L Train. Was on my way to work when a man tried to cross the tracks and the train hit him. For a while there was total silence.
Then the conductor came through to tell us that there was a guy under the train. After a while the car I was in began to fill up with smoke and a horrible smell. The conductor came by again to tell us that it was the smell of burning flesh. At that point I just wanted to get out.
We were moved to other cars. After a while the Police and the Fire Dept. came to evacuate us. It was one of the most terrible unsettle experiences I’ve ever had. I still can’t get that smell of burning flesh out of my nostrils or my memory. May the poor unfortunate guy Rest in Peace.
In these cases the MTA has to shut off the power so Emergency services can remove the guy’s body or what is left of him.
My Thanks to the New York City Police, the MTA and Fire Depts. who got us out from that underground hell!!  Kudos to my Fellow NYers who did not panic and followed the instructions of the MTA, the Police and the Fire Fighters.
I must say that I’m still shaken up and still trying to find a way to get to work.  People either kill themselves by jumping in front of the train or get killed all the time so I still must go to my job. Suicide by Subway. Very Common.
Anyway I’m getting ready to go back out to find a working train to take me to work. However given how I feel I’m gonna back off social media for a while.
I’m gonna close comments for this post because basically there is nothing anyone can say or do to make me feel better. As for the poor man. He’s dead. Thinking of taking a Posting Hiatus after this horrible/terrible incident.