Dating and Cigarettes


Dating and Cigarettes for me is a non-negotiable. If you’re a smoker don’t even look my way. Bad breath. Yellow teeth. Stinky hair and clothing. Ugh!

I hate cigarette smoke as it aggravates my allergies. Many years ago when I used to go out to clubs and bars (Ladies Night Out) I’d always have to wash my hair and shower when I got home because my hair and clothing reeked of cigarette smoke! Yuck!! Ugh!!

New York City has banned smoking in most bars, restaurants, clubs, cultural institutions, etc…. but you still must negotiate city streets populated by dedicated smokers who must light up despite knowing that smoking will eventually kill them.

Unfortunately a day at the park can be easily ruined once a smoker sits in your vicinity and decides to light up. Then you have to get up and move because your air space is being violated!

On one note I do think it is an addiction because my Dad started smoking when he was 17, quit at age 50 but still died at age 65 (stroke & cancer).  That was back in 1995 when he passed away. Now the price of a pack of ciggies is sky high. I believe almost $20 per pack but loyal smokers don’t allow the high cost to deter them. In my low-income neighborhood you can get “loosies.”  Or buy them in bulk from Indian reservations.

As for me I stay as far away as possible from smokers as is humanly possible. I don’t date guys who smoke either because they are like walking foul ash trays.  Plus I don’t want to be any man’s nurse. I’m not about to be pushing your around in a wheelchair or watch you gasping for air from an oxygen tank all because you refuse to take care of yourself. If you’re overweight, out of shape, smoke or drink Go Look for a Nurse/Undertaker because you will surely need one in the few years you’ve got left on the planet.

Romantic Lies and Deceptions


We are in Love with the idea of Love but Reality is oh so different. Romance is a broken down heap in an unused garage with a drunken clipped wing Cupid splayed out beside it swilling in his own vomit.  The illusions of Cupid were shot down by his own arrows.  Arrows tipped with poison that turn healthy beating hearts into gangrenous rotting putrid shells. Love is anxiety, disappointment, hurt, pain and stress coupled with fear.  Vitreous Spears of viperous snakes slithering from brain to core corrupting of part of human life.

Last night I spied Venus and Mars exiting the House of the Rising Sun on their way to the local dive bar. Yup Love and War. Two sides of the same coin.

Cupid and his mother Venus are thinking of getting their own Reality show called Life’s Broken Dreams. Broken Dreams lead to Broken Hearts. Walk in the Light of Truth and kick both Cupid and Venus to the curb!  The Steel Iron Armor has sealed my Amore and the key has been thrown in the River Styx.

Cupid shot by his own Arrow.
Cupid shot by his own Arrow.

Crusty the Boring Ass Clown

Krusty taking a much needed Bath!
Krusty taking a much needed Bath!

Single Ladies,

Please tell me if you’ve had encounters with Crusty the Clown and his cousin Bob the Boring. What is this aversion guys have to soap, water, bathing, showering, brushing teeth and using deodorant and Lotion!! Do men really feel more manly if they stink, have yellow teeth, and hands like they were wrangling bricks! Especially for men past the half century mark did you somewhere along the line begin to think that body odor and bad breath were a turn-on to women?  Baldness is okay. Like most women I realize that most men past 50 have or are starting to lose their hair, however if you do have hair please know that dandruff is unacceptable.  Unless it is snowing outside there should not be flakes on your clothing. Buy some shampoo and use it!

And oh yes, it you expect us to be in shape and healthy then do some exercise, lose that pot belly that looks like you’re about to birth an alien being and stop smoking.  Most Ladies are not trying to get with the Pillsbury Dough-boy! Shaving is a good thing too, other than mustaches I don’t date men with overactive face follicles. While you’re purchasing the soap, deodorant, and toothpaste please toss some razors into your shopping basket. Not trying to date the Smith Brothers or ZZ Top!!

Oh yes get your conversation together. No woman wants to spend time with a guy who has nothing to say. Mumbling and Cave Man grunts do not make for intelligent dialogue. Maybe take a few Toastmasters courses or public speaking classes. It’ll help. Thank you!

Yours truly,

DeBorah Le Raconteur