After You’ve Done All You Can Just Stand

On October 19, 2015 By dancingpalmtreesIn Ocean - Put Your Hand In The Hand (1971, Stand By Donnie McClurkin, Stephen Vincent Palmer16 Comments

Stand By Donnie McClurkin

Put in a call to AHRC New York City, got on their wait list and they will be mailing me out a list of Guardianship Lawyers. The woman answering my call said the wait is usually one to two years. Now that I think that through by the time I actually get a lawyer I’ll be retired!! Somehow this is a cosmic joke and Stephen and I are the punch lines. Ugh!!

In order to remain calm and somewhat stable I’ve been doing lots of praying. I’ve always been a woman of prayer but these last few months in fact since the end of 2014 I’ve been under extreme stress. Finally I’ve begun to fall back on my Baptist upbringing and put all my cares, fears, faults and failures in Jesus hands. Basically As far as my brother Stephen and I are concerned everything is in God’s hands now. I have exhausted all my options and sometimes it seems it’s never enough. I’m never enough. Not good enough. Not smart enough. Lots of shame and guilt. Many times tired and burnt out but still struggling because Stephen is relying on me.

So Lord Jesus I commit my troubled life to you. Let God’s Will be done in our lives. For only God sees the tears I cry at night, is with me through sleepless nights and by my side while I fake smile during the day at work all the while broken inside.

People who are atheists and/or non-believers probably laugh and joke about people like me. People of Faith but let me tell you something when you’ve back is against the wall, Mom and Dad are gone, no husband or boyfriend, friends and family have long left you behind that’s where your Faith comes in otherwise I’d go crazy. Truly Jesus is my only friend. The only one on whom I can rely. Jesus is there in the midnight hour when there is no one else who cares or will listen. One day I will find out why, my purpose and what this struggle all means but as for now I put my hand in his hand.

Ocean – Put Your Hand In The Hand (1971 – HQ) (Original Live Audio)

24 Hour Pizza and Parakeets

On October 19, 2015October 25, 2015 By dancingpalmtreesIn Blood, Bullets, Ectoplasim, Minotaur, Resurrection Alley, Sisyphus, Uncategorized, Vomit

Live Parakeets and Bullfrogs Amid the Wreckage of War

http://www.nycsubway.org/wiki/Abandoned_and_Disused_Stations

Whilst spelunking illegally in the subterranean caverns of abandoned subway stations my partner and I came upon an entire underground city. A dim, dark, dismal world of creeps and shadows yet illuminated by bursts of flying colors. Drawn into soaring searing winged rainbow brightness were heart shaped barbed wire around a complex populated by shades, shadows, ghosts and spirits. Not so much to keep them from getting out but to prevent flesh beings from getting in. Like Bot beings from Metropolis they went about their daily chores, duties and jobs seemingly oblivious to changes taking place around them.

Voices wavered and shook creating echo chambers of reverberating sounds. Frozen seaside faces mouths agape in silent screams. My nerves adrift on a sea of razors. My breath the color of repose. Coming towards me the cyclist who a few months ago lay in a crumpled heap his bike flung across the median, he a corpse cordoned off by yellow police tape while tourists take photos to upload on Facebook and Instagram. Once headed 100 miles an hour into a Vortex, now upright said cyclist strides as King in this darkened world. The Coroner declares………..He stripped off everything he had been. He died as he came into the world. All the layers of the identity removed he became himself again. Out of Potters Field and straight into Destiny.

Enraged the Minotaur went into combat mode launching heat seeking missiles, Molotov Cocktails and flaming boulders at our encampment. The explosions in his head became a fiery reality. Having survived an attack by the Minotaur they called it Resurrection Alley. An insurrection upon whispers of ectoplasm who had no knowledge of danger. Like Sisyphus condemned to have his liver torn out each day they continued their rituals indifferent to a storm of chaos knowing they were the eye of the storm a vacuum of apathy. Blood colored feces littered the floor as the legless man snaked his way across the corridors, then did a neat pirouette on his hands.

They found the Postman dead on the living room floor. LSD’d into a delicate condition.

Squeezed out cumulus clouds lefty dewy footprints over gravel, dirt and rubble. The Necropolis is a living Cyclone of Scimitars ready to strike.

Go to Sleep………

Go to Sleep……….

Go to Sleep…………

I felt myself gurgling choking on blood and vomit I coughed up the bullet then I let go. Red robin took the shiny casings to feather her nest.

For I too am a denizen of this debris strewn wasteland.

Corporate Hysteria in Response to Autism by Cathy White

On October 18, 2015 By dancingpalmtreesIn Uncategorized4 Comments

Employers find ways to get around the ADA Act. Bosses will use that “Undue Burden” clause to fire you in a hot minute. That’s why so many disabled are unemployed and if you have a job and develop a disability it’s best not to share it with your employer or co-workers. Your Disability will be used against you!!

Fallen Cinders ~~ A Halloween Poem

On October 18, 2015 By dancingpalmtreesIn Addams Family, Beatles- Eleanor Rigby, Cyclist, Elvis, Fallen Cinders, Firestarters, Gargoyles, Halloween, Hallucinations, horror, Mariachi, Smurfette, The Beatles - The Fool On The Hill, The Doors - People Are Strange2 Comments

FOR HALLOWEEN

Fallen Cinders

Don’t know if there were other beings. So far no one I’ve queried has dyed-in-the-wool knowledge of their existence.

The Doors – People Are Strange

https://youtu.be/-DTj_KLqp_s

Measuring about 4’8” they had gray-green eyes and a snarled mess of teal blue hair that fell from their heads to their ankles. A race of Cousin Its who had escaped from the Addams Family and mated with Smurfette. Every so often there would be a great divide within these walking haystacks when tentacles would emerge, grasp the being nearest to them all the while emitting spores that enabled them to engage in a type of conjugal bliss harmonizing their universe and populating future cosmos. Egg donors pushed out womb offerings for the spores’ consummation.

You must allow the bed to take you. It’s the only way. Pollination. Germination. Fruit. Appendages.

Steles push up granite flowers. Stone Flowers. Stillborn. Alien stillborns cry out for vindication.

He’s just a middle-aged painted Lolita straining to call forth the waiting semen amidst a garden of extraterrestrial after-births.

The Beatles – The Fool On The Hill

https://youtu.be/wXa0MAfOsoU

Sulky gargoyles indulged in the meadow.

State bed

Date: ca. 1698

Culture: British

Medium: Wood, covered in blue silk damask

Dimensions: 12 ft. × 6 ft. 6 in. × 6 ft. (365.8 × 198.1 × 152.4 cm)

Sometimes I would watch as they chased and caught smaller humanoid beings decapitating them with a lassoed tentacle tug then planting their tiny heads as seeds with the promise of a shrunken head springtime crop during the moon’s 6^th ellipses. Tasty. Delicious. Like brussel sprouts sauteed in olive oil.

Gathering at the ceremonial castle they marched in sync howling chanting:

Babbling Bitches have me in stitches.

The Babble of the rabble gives rise to bewitches.

On and on a series of feet stampeding through Wonderland. Wheelers keeping an uneven but steady tempo.

Aristocratic corpses shimmer in glee.

A dead Mariachi Band Member dances for filthy lucre.

The Cyclist body lay crumpled between sighing posts. Mangled beyond recognition. His bike wheels spinning waiting for its riders return. He was the color of repose.

Ahhh…. Look at All the Lonely People. Where do they come from? Where do they all belong?

Beatles- Eleanor Rigby

Somebody needs to check to see if Elvis is in the alligator. For there is an umbrella that will take you to the 13^th floor.

We come from a long line of Firestarters, feeling nostalgic for another self but knowing that those above gather the fallen cinders.

The Old Castle

Artist: Emanuel Murant (Dutch, Amsterdam 1622–1700 Leeuwarden)

Medium: Oil on wood

The Aging Woman and Self-Validation

On October 18, 2015October 18, 2015 By dancingpalmtreesIn 50+, African American Queen, African Goddess, Ernestine Shephard, Jacky O'Shaughnessy, Jesus Christ, Woman2 Comments

Ernestine Shephard, 79 year old Body Builder

https://youtu.be/O_01VlQzN7s

I can definitely relate to what Jacky O’Shaughnessy says in her video about women, aging, body image and dating. Like her I’ve been dumped for younger women and/or rejected because I’m not thick or curvy. Traded in for a PYT (Pretty Young Things). Finally I had to tell myself I will never have boobs or butt like other women. I will always be petite and I am getting older. But you know even though I don’t fit in and I’m not the “flavor of the moment” Despite numerous rejections and declining social life I would not change anything about my body. I will never get enhancements or augmentations.

America is a youth obsessed culture that will never change and men buy into that when making choices regarding which women to date or not date.

Gradually as I’ve gotten older I’ve begun to accept my body and focus less on how men see me but I have to admit that it does bother me when men in my age group for for the 20 and 30 somethings. I’m human and want to be accepted but then again we live in a society where a woman loses value as she ages. Men focus entirely on looks, body type, youth & fertility. As a result I rarely date and no I’m not open to online dating. Where can I find self validation? Only through my writing, photography and spending time with my brother Stephen who loves me no matter what.

I also greatly admire 79 year old Body Builder Ernestine Shephard. As my readers know from my previous posts I try to keep up my exercising, mainly walking as much as my work schedule will allow. Readers know that the reason I’m staying in shape is for me not to please some man. The only man I must or need to please is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So despite my faults and flaws I’m staying fit for me and me only so I will have a better life as I get older. My objective is to stay healthy. A healthy life is all encompassing not a trend but a lifestyle so I will keep at it so I can feel better about myself.