Some have inquired as to whether my brother Stephen and I do Steps together. The answer to that question is No other than the 5K Walk we did on March 30th.
Stephen and I do not Live together. I Live in Brooklyn and Stephens residence is in a part of Queens only accessible by car. No subway trains or buses therefore I rarely see Stephen in person.
After my ocular occlusion and resulting retina issues I gave up driving over ten years ago. Nor do I have anyone willing or able to drive me to and from where Stephen resides. Plus now I have cataracts. Most of my caregiving is done by phone, texting or emailing. The residence decides as far as dropping him off to Brooklyn and picking him up. No we don’t get together on most Holidays either.
Many of my Followers and Subscribers have family members with Autism but I notice that they are married therefore having a built in Support System. As much as I would Love to spend more time with my brother Stephen currently I must settle for the few days a year that we are able to get together.
None of this is a complaint just stating facts. Please don’t ask me about my eyesight as I’m not giving out any extra information. This Blog is not a pity party.
Hopefully now more People will understand what it is to be a Solo Caregiver and a Solo Walker in life.
If you would like to Sponsor me for my QCP 5K Walk on Saturday, March 30th you can either access the Link or you can send your donations via PayPal at deborah.palmer280@gmail.com.
Stephen and I Thank you.
I will add your name to Our Supporters List.
Stephen Loves M&Ms. In some of the photos he’s in the M&Ms Zone.
I will be participating in this 5k walk to benefit Queens Centers for Progress who care for my brother Stephen who has Autism. QCP provides programs and services for People with Autism and other developmental disabilities. If you can Please join me. If you can’t participate Please donate to QCP.
Fundraising for Queens Centers for Progress. QCP Bellerose is the Organization that cares for my brother Stephen who has Autism.
Please donate to QCP so that they may not only continue but expand programs and services for developmentally disabled children and adults. Thank you!
Some things are Lost That You don’t Get Back. Thoughts are consumed by memories put on replay. An endless loop of hope filled Happier times.
One always grieves for what and Who is Lost.
Losing yourself is the most deeply felt. Rearranging atoms and molecules.
So many Thoughts went on in Her head as she sat by the empty bed. Sometimes at Night She would lay across his bed not so much for sleep as that had eluded her for weeks, but rather to absorb his scent which was slowly dissolving with passing time.
His bedroom now a divine sacred place where I shower altars with copious tearful offerings.
Fading like dissipated mist. And that bird. Not native to these parts. It first appeared two weeks before his transition. Warbling with all its heart it’s song brought a peace to my suffering child. Eased his pain. Interrupted nonstop seizures.
Comforting my Paradise child through his Souls transition from Time into eternity.
He once terrestrial in the blink of a moment became Celestial.
On the day of the funeral, a Gravesite service entire flocks of various avian species serenaded better than the most skillful singers.
The Groundskeeper
So Many Wrong Doors. Wrong Doors are open while Keys to the correct Doors are Lost.
The Repo man stole Her heart then Her Life. She was found among Laurel and cypress trees.
Ashes to ashes. Dust to Dust. In a daze waiting for someone to wake her up telling Her that it was all a bad Dream. As the Funeral Director guides her through the motions She realizes that this is her New reality.
She is an open wound seeping blood and pus.
Heaven Gains More Angels.
While all Left to She and Her are gravestones marked with Names, birth and death dates. Only Her and She know the story behind the dash.
Yet lately I’ve heard a familiar warbling. A persistent chirp. A persistent breeze turning the spokes of his old bike not ridden in months.
A Vague flash of Angel Wings caressing face engulfing my being with his presence.
Mommy it’s alright now. It’s alright.
I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me
After Edward Hopper
AM I THE ONLY ONE?
Isolation
Dedicated to Zoey and Cecilia who both lost their disabled children to the Angels of Death.
