Happy Thanksgiving!!


 

Happy Thanksgiving to all my subscribers and followers in the United States. Enjoy time with your family and friends as well as the delicious turkey bird, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and of course Football!!

Stephen and I plan to get Turkeyfied at our cousin Dee’s house in New Jersey!!

Gobble!  Gobble!

Turkey Before

Roast Turkey and Fixings

 

 

 

 

 

Self-Validation


womens-pink-protex2-boxing-gloves
Women’s Pink Boxing Gloves

I’m borrowing this picture from my fellow blogger Persia because it makes the perfect statement for this particular blog post.

Drama2

As one gets older and hopefully more mature you develop a thicker skin. As a writer this is mandatory. I write about my experiences as a Black Woman in America and as the Sister of a brother who has Autism. Now I realize these topics especially the former bring strong reactions and/or responses.

Sometimes the people who post comments give unsolicited advice and expect me to go along with their program. As with any comments, advice, or suggestions I will listen/read then go ahead and do what I was gonna do in the first place.  I don’t sugarcoat my experiences, feelings or emotions.

For one of my previous blog posts one woman gave me the label of being angry. Anger or Righteous Indignation is a good thing. Too many women just roll over and play dead, shy away, or don’t speak up for themselves.

I try my best to avoid confrontations but if it comes to me I’m prepared to defend myself as Malcolm X said, “By Any Means Necessary.”  I’m nobody’s fool. My mother Mable Palmer did not raise me to be a doormat.

I’m not that type of woman. I am a strong woman with strong opinions. As for accepting supposed words of support, well I don’t have to accept it and in most cases I don’t need it.  I’m not looking to be validated by other people. Nor am I interested in whatever their philosophy, mind-set or religious beliefs. I have mine. They have theirs.

As far as bullying goes because I was in an abusive relationship in the past I vowed to never allow a man to put their hands on me ever again. I might die defending myself but so be it.  Unfortunately in the past seven years I’ve had to defend myself against both women and men.  I was raised in a tough neighborhood and lived in perhaps less desirable neighborhoods all my life.

Example: A few years ago a white male co-worker pinned me up against the wall in one of the galleries. Nobody came to help me. Let’s just say I got the Pillsbury Dough-boy off me. Another male co-worker threatened to tie me up and various other perverted comments. Well I got into two fights with him. Told him I would beat his ass all up and down 5th Avenue. Things got so bad the supervisor had to intervene.  Needless to say I fight to win. I’m not asking for anybody’s sympathy or words of support.  This is the real world I live in. BTW, those two guys are no longer at the workplace. I’m only 5’1″ and weight about 125 lbs on a good day.

Lesson learned, as a woman you must learn to physically defend yourself against any and all attackers. You can’t go around allowing others to beat your or your kids up.  I understand bullying because I was that kid always getting beat up because I was small. When I was in high school I was pushed down a flight of stairs.

When I was about eight or nine every day I would walk to the bus stop an older boy would take my lunch and every day I would come home hungry and crying. After a while my Mom Mable Palmer asked me what was wrong. I told her about the bully boy and the next day she walked with me to the bus stop. Now keep in mind my Mom was about 4′ 11′ and weighed about 95 lbs but she was a tough cookie. The teenage boy approached me and my Mom thinking that she was a little girl. The boy attempted to take my lunch. My Mom decked him with a right hook. She hit the boy and that boy hit the ground. He had the audacity to say, I’m gonna get my Mama. My Mom said, “Go get your mother and I’ll kick her ass too!”

LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out

When I joined the Army in 1977 I was away from Mom and Dad for the first time in my life. As with any occupation there were bullies there also. One room-mate who was a drug dealer as well as a bully threatened to beat me up. For a while I wandered all over the post afraid to go back to my room but finally it dawned on that fear was not the answer and I had to return. I got a baseball bat, keep it near my bed and would have beaten that bitch within an inch of her life if she had touched me.  It’s all about being tough.  The Army helped toughen me up.  Avoidance and peaceful negotiation don’t always work.

It’s nice to have support, kind and comforting words but I graduated from the “School of Hard Knocks.”  Life is composed of the good, the bad and the ugly.  I validate me. No apologies. No excuses. No shame in my game.

So go ahead and bring it!  I’m Ready!

 

 

 

 

Phil’s Retirement/Birthday Party


 

http://www.martialforce.com/PHIL%20MCRAE%20MARTIALFORCE.COM.htm

Last Night I attended a Retirement/Birthday party for my favorite supervisor Mr. Phil McRae. As a supervisor he was kind, compassionate, considerate and understanding. He always acted in the best interest of the guards.  His morals and values are evident in all his interactions with people.

Believe it or not Phil is 62 years old. I want to be like Phil when I reach my 60s!  Please click on the embedded link to read more about Phil’s martial arts experiences.

As a friend he was always there for me. Phil was someone I could talk to and pour out my heart and he would understand.  I cried on his strong shoulders many times. He truly cared for all workers.  He respected all the women workers, always using his authority in the best interests of the guards. A true standard bearer. I always felt protected being around him. Phil was and still is well respected, admired and love by not just the security department but by any person who had the good fortune to come across his pathway.  If there was a Hall of Fame for supervisors Phil should and would be in it. He will be missed by all.

As you can see from the photo Phil was not only a supervisor but he is also a high ranking Black Belt in Karate. Once he gets settle and rested he will probably open his own Dojo.  Believe me I will be there taking Self Defense lessons because as a single Woman I need to learn more ways to defend myself from all the nuts, kooks and weirdos roaming the streets.

I drank. I ate and of course I danced!! A great time was had by all!

 

 

Let’s Talk About Race in Two Different Americas


This is another non-PC post dealing with racial attitudes.  If you’re white this blog post is gonna Fuck with you to the utmost. I pull no punches and make no apologies for my words.  If you don’t like it feel Free to Unsubscribe.  I don’t give a flying Fuck.

Often my colleagues of Color and I will talk about the racist comments and insults we get on a daily basis while performing our jobs as Security Officers at the museum.  One encounter by a Black co-worker who is a retired Marine Officer and who is multi-lingual especially sticks out. A white visitor told him he was an Uppity Nigger. His response, “I come from a long line of Uppity niggers and am proud of it.”  I’m sure that white patron had no answer for that one.

Basically during my tenure at the museum patrons have cursed me in every language know to mankind and called me everything but a child of God.

Now let me back track to my encounter this past week with a dumb-ass old white woman who had the nerve, gall and audacity to come up to me and compare my beautiful cornrows to a Medusa sculpture.  I was raised to respect my elders but there are times when you just want to slap the shit out of old white people whose minds are still stuck in the early 20th or 19th Centuries.  Then there are the trust fund babies and wealthy white folks of privilege who have that “To The Manor Born” attitude to most workers of Color and especially Black workers.

 

Dear Folks of the Caucasian Persuasion.  Do Not Touch my Hair. This is not a petting zoo.  Do not ask me stupid questions like, “Do you comb your hair?” Do Not compare my braids, locs or cornrows to Medusa and I won’t say anything about your wrinkles, age spots or your open audacity and stupidity to think you can come up to any random Black person that you don’t know and just spew the first idiotic thing that issues forth from that pie hole in the middle of your face. And No you Do Not have the right to become offended if I call you out on your arrogance and foolishness.  Keep your ignorant racist sexist dumb words and attitude to yourself! Don’t get it Twisted.  Mammy and StepAndFetchIt are long gone.  In fact do me a favor. Shut the Fuck Up and stop commenting on my appearance!  Don’t Fuck with the African Goddess! I am a Proud Uppity Black Woman with Attitude. Don’t you forget it.

I don’t have too many problems with other working class whites. We are more or less sailing in the same ship but if you’re Black and you commit the smallest infraction of the rules we get thrown overboard. Most of the problem lies with the 1%.  The “Beautiful People.”  The Society Matrons. The Trust Fund Babies. Tea Partiers formerly known as the “Moral Majority.”  You know them. The patrons who attempt to give you half chewed gum and candy or some sort of other garbage thinking you’re a fucking janitor. I tell them them the trash can is located in the nearest restroom.

Caucasian Americans let’s get re-educated. No I don’t look like another Black person you may know or see on TV, in the movies or in magazines.  Black people have the most diversity of skin color, hair textures, and hues than any other race on earth. Unless that particular Black person is an identical twin there goes the notion that we all Look Alike.

If you don’t know me. Don’t touch me. Keep your hands to yourself. Hey you never know. The Black might rub off!

Yes I speak proper English and not Ebonics. Sure I can lapse into slang but only around my friends. Stop saying how you’re incredibly amazed at how “articulate” I am.  That’s a back-handed compliment which is really an insult in disguise. Quit being so condescending.

No I absolutely Do Not take or sell drugs. Black does not equal drug addict.  However it is obvious that you do since you seem to know so much about illicit drugs.  No I’m not here to be your sex slave. Don’t even go there!  For I will put your sorry ass out of my galleries. If we were out in the street my foot would be up your ass! You may have gotten away with raping my Great, Great, Great Grandmother back in slavery days but today I will not only knock you silly but cut off your minuscule package and shove it down your throat.

You insult me to my face and make snide remarks behind my back. You extend your hand in supposed friendship and support, with that phony shit-eating grin while telling me “I Voted for Obama!”  Really.  Oh joy! How white of you! You know what?  I don’t want to be your friend. You would not survive a week No Not even a day in my Black skin. You need to back the Fuck up and get out of my face with your hypocrisy.  My patience is gone and Love Don’t Live Here Anymore.

You May Now Kiss My Royal Black Ass!

Defiant DeBorah
Defiant precocious DeBorah