People told me not to call myself a ‘victim’ after my rape. Here’s why I refused.

On By dancingpalmtreesIn Uncategorized

http://www.upworthy.com/people-told-me-not-to-call-myself-a-victim-after-my-rape-here-s-why-i-refused?c=upw1

My experience somewhat mirrors this woman’s. The onus is on the rape victim or survivor to immediately snap back and be whole. My rapist like her rapist will never be caught or punished but I will forever be judged.

Women who go through rape are expected to be shining examples of strength and fortitude. Nobody wants to to hear about the PTSD, Insomnia, nightmares, inability to form lasting relationships, repeated hospitalizations for depression and various mental ailments.

People only want the Happy Stories. Happy Endings. They walk away and reject you as Failure to Thrive in the face of adversity.

That’s why I stopped telling my story. For in the retelling I’m labeled a failure. Null and void.

However I ask that you read this Woman’s story of how rape can or does define your life. Her words resonate with me. She says what I’m unable to say.

8 thoughts on “People told me not to call myself a ‘victim’ after my rape. Here’s why I refused.”

  1. I’ve been sexually harmed by 7 people in my life. First started at 4 – by the tiem I was 16 = 6. Then I was set on by a predator and in that “relationship” for three years and was lucky to live the last day. A friend saved my life. I won’t ever forget that horror. Victim, there’s going to be if I ever bump into her again. I’m not gaslighted anymore.

    1. Thanks for your testimony. The original article touched my heart and soul. The authors story echoed many of my own experiences. I’m glad that she had the courage to speak the truth about the aftermath and consequences.

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