The Good, the bad and Reality Check

Yesterday I received my Marymount Manhattan College 2017 Reunion Weekend reminder invitation for the Class of 2002! 🙂 Can’t believe 15 years have passed so quickly since my graduation!! Wow!! Time is really moving at a fast pace!!

The Following is an email form my brother Stephen. This really made my day and brought me tears of Joy as I’ve had a particularly horrendous work week. No sooner than I get back to work from my Lovely vacation than a co-worker who has it in for me is filing accusations against me and 3 other co-workers charging us with harassment and physically pushing her. Of course it’s not true but my workplace which is already horrible is about to get 1000 times worse.  Job = Hell + Dante’s Inferno.  But again there is nothing I can do.  Because this person’s life is all screwed up she is doing her best to make the rest of us miserable.

Stephen’s words gave me the pick me up and happiness I need to go on in Life. At least I know Stephen Loves me if nobody else does. My brother Stephen is such an Amazing Autism Guy!!

Stephen’s Awesome Email Message!!!

“Hi sister how are you doing today . I had a good day at program today , I draw and colored with my peers, I also helped with the paper work in the class room . After i went to lunch, it was good i really enjoyed lunch time with my friends. I wanted to know if you still have the drawing of the picture i made.”

Sent my reply to Stephen right away and perhaps when he returns to program I will receive an answer sometime next week.  I have no idea what picture Stephen is talking about but I asked him to make several more pictures for me and I will add them to our ongoing photo/picture collage project.

Real Life Reality Check

As for the Stephen’s clothing situation which I discussed in previous emails I spoke with the Director of his Group Home Residence while I was on vacation. He said he would email me an inventory of all Stephen’s belongings.  Well a week has passed since I returned to work from my vacation and no inventory.  Since I don’t drive and can’t afford a cab or taxi to get over there I suppose I will never find out what exactly is going on.

I did contact other agencies that are supposed to oversee and/or monitor group homes but they told me that there was nothing they could do and had no wish to become involved in our case.  I’m not supposed to make or take personal calls on my job plus I think my phone is about to be cut-off because I don’t have money to pay the bill.

Before T-Mobile disconnects me I must get in touch with the Veteran’s Administration. The V.A. did call me back this past week but by the time I get home they are closed. I also received some type of VA health care card in the mail so I guess that’s a form of progress. Next goal is to set up an appointment with the local V.A. health care facility to see if they can help me with my medical problems.

I suppose this is one of those Life’s Lessons where one has to admit defeat. I finally had to admit to myself I can no longer fulfill many of my responsibilities. It’s physically impossible for me to hold down a full-time job which requires me to work very long hours, keep up with what’s going on in Stephen’s Residence plus attempt to take care of myself.

I’m not a machine with replaceable parts or a robot who can just plow through obstacles. I’m a human being whose body has begun to betray me.  The aging process is no joke!

In the back of my mind I knew I was failing but did not want to admit it. As humans we Love to Lie to Ourselves that we are powerful, strong, capable and ready to take on any challenge. Well that’s not always the case. When I was younger, with a flexible well paying job and in better health yeah I could do whatever I set my mind to.  Recently over these past few months reality slapped me upside my head and reminded me of all my numerous failures.  However I know in my heart, soul and mind I did the best I could but sometimes one’s best is not good enough.

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Lots of times Life Sucks. This is one of those times.