Crusty the Boring Ass Clown

Krusty taking a much needed Bath!
Krusty taking a much needed Bath!

Single Ladies,

Please tell me if you’ve had encounters with Crusty the Clown and his cousin Bob the Boring. What is this aversion guys have to soap, water, bathing, showering, brushing teeth and using deodorant and Lotion!! Do men really feel more manly if they stink, have yellow teeth, and hands like they were wrangling bricks! Especially for men past the half century mark did you somewhere along the line begin to think that body odor and bad breath were a turn-on to women?  Baldness is okay. Like most women I realize that most men past 50 have or are starting to lose their hair, however if you do have hair please know that dandruff is unacceptable.  Unless it is snowing outside there should not be flakes on your clothing. Buy some shampoo and use it!

And oh yes, it you expect us to be in shape and healthy then do some exercise, lose that pot belly that looks like you’re about to birth an alien being and stop smoking.  Most Ladies are not trying to get with the Pillsbury Dough-boy! Shaving is a good thing too, other than mustaches I don’t date men with overactive face follicles. While you’re purchasing the soap, deodorant, and toothpaste please toss some razors into your shopping basket. Not trying to date the Smith Brothers or ZZ Top!!

Oh yes get your conversation together. No woman wants to spend time with a guy who has nothing to say. Mumbling and Cave Man grunts do not make for intelligent dialogue. Maybe take a few Toastmasters courses or public speaking classes. It’ll help. Thank you!

Yours truly,

DeBorah Le Raconteur