Germ Warfare

After a fruitful and pleasant visit to City MD Urgent Care at 336 East 86th Street I was diagnosed with yet another sinus infection. I seem to get them every 3 to 4 months. Why I don’t know?! CityMD Urgent Care are very efficient using Google Maps to locate the Walgreens in my neighborhood Fulton & Nostrand send them the prescriptions so all I had to do was pick it up.

Now I’m back to being a pill factory. A veritable cornucopia of pills, ear drops, nasal spray, and my buddy Azithromycin. Damn! There’s no escaping old age, body decline & being tired, exhausted and drained, no matter how much healthy organic foods I eat; water, juice, and Kefir I drink, yogurt I consume or daily exercise. Guess I’m just a magnet for germs.

Ah the joys of living with Acute Sinusitis! Since last Thursday I have drunk more tea with honey and lemon and eaten so much garlic that even though it did not kill the germs I was not visited by any Vampires. By Labor Day I was so wiped out by hacking and coughing the previous night I had morphed into a raccoon. I do believe I left behind a lung, kidney and parts of my diaphragm at my workplace.  I looked like I had gone a few rounds with boxer Muhammad Ali in his prime or spent three weeks without sleep since I had two black eyes. I could barely speak and became a raspy voice Joe Cocker harlequin at the Annual Palace Ball!

Being a soldier I fought these invaders to my system with humongous amounts of liquids, eventually consuming cloves of garlic in a nearly raw state so much so that I could have repelled an Army of the Undead. By Monday Labor Day I was pushed into the role of Zombie Guard at my workplace. Tuesday I stayed home to recover and felt well enough Wednesday to attend an outing in Central Park with friends.

For several days now, Mr. Nasal Congestion, his wife Missy Mucous invited what sounded like an entire team of Flamenco dancers to torture my right ear.  The clickety clacking sounds were so loud that obviously the Flamenco dancers were using extra loud castanets! The accompanying pain was like Flamenco dancers were driving a nail, spear or knife through my right ear ala the Vincent Price, Dr. Phibes! Enough! Thus my journey to CityMD Urgent Care for relief from pain, congestion and coughing. Now I’m about to put these ear drops in my right ear and murder all those inconsiderate castanet playing tap dancing Flamencos!! Die you evil bastards!!!

Folks it is like being a host for the Germ Factory Club. Gonna make you sweat with a delightful roasted body fever. You feel the Invasion of the Body Snatchers partying inside your body doing the Cha, Cha, Cha, Tango, Rumba and Foxtrot all up and down my sinus cavities!  The beautiful static noise inside my right ear reminds me of the point when the needle touches the vinyl on old fashioned records.

Today I may be a member of the Walking Wounded but I will repel these nasty malevolent trespassers away from my being! Next in my arsenal, super duper strength vitamins! Get back you wicked virus!  My sword released from its sheath and I will win the battle and the war!