Zipporah Jephthah’s Daughter


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mary’s Burning Heart.  I Zipporah Jephthah’s Daughter yield her confessions and present to you Memoirs of a Cubist Odalisque.

 

Memoirs of a Cubist Odalisque

 

Cupid’s Broken Arrow Mandala of the Wishful Flâneuse

 

Filled with millions of flaws, faults and Failures.   Mismatched flavors like sardines and sugar. A Goddess in Training. A Fierce Sirocco  Haboob Harmattan   Simoon of Swirling Tornadoes. Mother Earth has lost her Skeins. She is no longer threaded together with care. For her Arboreal stakes, ropes and roots have been ripped from Earths bosom.

Harmattan courses through my weather beaten soul.  From a burning bush fire in the Harmattan ~~ Changlings are birthed.

 

Cleansing. Purifying. Grace.

 

I wrapped my cloak even more closely tighter around my head hopelessly shielding face against powerful tint razor sand sharp dust particles which still manage to find a way through any slight opening of fabric.  I must decided whether to keep moving or take shelter for the night.  For the protection and safety of my menagerie of camels, goats, mules and donkeys laden with merchandise fit for Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe & Apothecary, I carry the hopes, dreams and visions of cities past present and future.  I Be the cure and prevention of untimely death.

 

I battled my way forth towards the dimly lit designated rest stop for weary travelers.  There I stash my merchandise aside me in the post stamp tent whilst my animals are boarded, sheltered and given rations to sleep shelter through the roaring night skies. I too arrange my bedding with the carpets, quilts, tapestries, rugs and blankets before extinguishing lanterns and candles Good Night.  Dreaming of Ghosts sailing the sand.

 

I Zipporah Jephthah daughter bid you sweet nightly visions of an imperfect past and unknown future.

 

Each night sky twinkling stars become a beacon to millions of distant galaxies each demanding that my secret wishes be spoken.  Where will I find my Justice or shall I return to the red rich clay from whence I came?

Still in the dawn of a new day in a misty foggy night She remains an Ogre.   A misshapen princess wrapped in precious silks, damasks,laces, crinolines, royal robes sewn with golden stitches, glittering silvery threads, bedecked in precious gems and jewels.  Clothing that titillated the mind and soul.  The Fitting Glory of Majesty on an unfitting freakish frame.  Luxury frocks, tunics and garments.

Pomp. Ceremony. No Core nor Substance. Clothing that conveys complete superficiality.  Fitting for Kangaroo Courts  For who is real as opposed to Who is Mere Invention?

It was a long way from the brothel and the Town and the Villagers who betrayed me..

 



Sophie’s Origins

 

My Name is Zipporah Sophia.  I am from the once favored Kingdom Clan of Jephthah whose bad choices and decisions cursed my clan throughout the region.  Curses which rained down on and were absorbed by me while I was being formed within my mother’s womb rendering me a dismember Odalisque.

Odalisque in Grisaille_Ingres
Odalisque in Grisaille Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres (French, Montauban 1780–1867 Paris) and Workshop

 

I came to this Bordello from a rural backwater village that held onto the 19th Century in custom, culture and values long after its demise, after a disastrous arranged marriage. From my birth I was considered “Damaged goods”.  My twin Niaema predicted to be a great beauty became my inadvertent protector and guardian.

Upon first seeing me after I was born my father was ready to throw me to hyenas and rabid dogs that fed on discarded garbage in the town dump.  My mother, grandmother and aunts stayed his hand. So ashamed of me was him I called father that he kept me within the compound as much as possible and I was only allowed outside on infrequent shopping excursions with my female relatives for food, house supplies and to buy enough fabric to make clothing which would covered the misshaped hump that dominated my form. Niaema quickly became his pride and joy.  Many was the time that Niaema intervened to prevent yet another rage fueled beating that became my lot in life.  However a few weeks before Niaema’s 12th birthday Niaema turned to mother one late evening pitch black night said I Go to Sleep now Mama and promptly passed away.  Father’s wrath and rage seemed to know no end as he cursed the gods and the universe for taking away his sweet favorite leaving him with rejected misfit myself.

Around the ages of 15 and 16 when most young women were making suitable marriages I had no suitors. Every young man in the village knew of my deformity though I rarely made an appearance in town.  Bad news travels fast.  My family was fairly well off and we lived quite comfortably so I had a somewhat considerably dowry, yet I still had no takers.  No man wanted to love me.

Eventually as I approached my 25th birthday having resigned myself to being an Old Maid my father finally found a match in a far flung outpost where no man knew my embarrassing truth.  Negotiations began. A Wedding date was set and I was delivered to my betrothed.  The Festivities nearly two days and my future husband was eager to retire to our luxurious tent to consummate our union.

But there was no consummation because once my betrothed removed my clothes, he screamed in disgust that he had been saddled with a hunchback for a wife.  He refused to do his husbandly duties and angrily return me to my father’s tent.  My father ashamed and now disgraced in not one but two villages sent me packing out from our tribal home into what I perceived as an unknown and dangerous wasteland.  So great was his fury and so hurried his dismissal that I hurriedly left with only the clothes on my twisted back and what few personal possessions I could carry, rushing to escape his stormy anger.

Good Fortune did smile on me as I traversed pock marked, poorly lit, rubble strewn road leading away from the only home I had ever known.  Angels in the form of my mother, aunts and sisters had extinguished my father’s fiery rage through liberal applications of wine spiked with sleeping potions. They then saddled horses from his stables and intercepted my wilderness journey.  We hugged, cried, and mourned the passing of me, Jephthah’s daughter cast out like Hagar from those she loved traveling who knows where.

They had also bargained with the disgruntled groom and his family to win back half my dowry which gifted me along with one strong but sway back donkey, an animal who mirrored my disability and fortitude.  I a prodigal daughter who had committed no sin in my youth and innocence only to be rescued by the House of Sin…………………………………



Gumby Lovers

 

“I Know that I’m not much to look at but I used to be the Crown Prince of Manhood, the Courtier of Cum among Royal Lovers.”

This laughable boast came on an exultation of foul and fetid breath akin to human waste lying in the bottom of a sewer emitting from this wizened and emaciated corpse like figure with a red bulging knobby doorknob on the end of a shriveled pecker. How it managed to stand at attention was a miracle from the saints or gods of nonstop porn.  His face was a veritable road-map of lines, wrinkles, valleys, pitted scars with a bird beak blue veined appendage masquerading as a nose jutting forth from sunken cheeks.  Above the beak nose were two rheumy eyes topped by beetle brows which looked more like two warring caterpillars wrangling for domination of an egg shaped skull sprouting tufts of errant hairs growing from the beak nose, elongated ears and the various moles on his scrofulous person.

Then it began. I closed my eyes and did my best to disengage all my senses as this old bag of bones began his pitiful assault upon my body.  I tried to drown out the sound of the Click-Clacking of false teeth in rhythm with hurried asthmatic prods that gradually became more pathetic and feebler though he put his hairy back best with his pecker pushing.  Thankfully he was done in under four minutes.  The way he panted and gasped for air I thought he was having a heart attack and about to cum and go at the same time!

Four minutes of torture and hell. Because I have Scoliosis I had to deal with the runts of the litter. Yup I get all the Gumbys and Pokeys.  Though we are fed, housed, clothed and housed like Renaissance Odalisques there is still a pecking order of beauty.  My face, my sun-kissed umber skin, my small perfectly round breasts and long curly wavy chestnut locks got me a reprieve from just being another filthy dirty street urchin but this curvature of the spine has relegated me to servicing the worst of the many Geezer patrons who pass through these palatial doors.

The soldiers, sailors, traveling merchants or other Spew head Jimmy’s as many of the Ladies were want to call them rarely came my way unless they too suffered from a disfigurement of the mind and/or body which they saw reflected in me.  As is said Like attracts like so Freaks of Nature recognize one of their fellows.  It was a rare and delicious opportunity to bed any head bangers who set you into spasms of delight Orgasms so intense that your eyes rolled up back into your head while head set a rhythm with the bed’s back board.

 

Missy Elliott – Get ur freak on

https://youtu.be/Ow3O2vIpeGU

 

Sam and Dave – Hold on I’m Coming

 

 

Stepping from the filthy foul smelling streets men were ushered into exotic elaborately decorated quarters decorated with expensive Persian rugs, medieval tapestries, silk draperies hung upon windowless walls, tables adorned with Tiffany lamps. A subtle scent of incense permeated the airways. The decorations seemed incongruous yet harmonized together in an irregular yet pleasing manner. Palatial taste a bit ostentatious like a Renaissance bordello. The furnishings were highly articulated and faceted Baroque/Rococo objects, many with deep gouges and gashes suggesting transparency and interior penetration. This room and much of the house as well as the street urchins who passed through seemed to us an Orientalist fantasy. At the far end of the living room hung a painting of a Minotaur coupling with a Centauride.

I saved my favorite costume for my only true Lover.  For him.  The Bringer of Pleasurably pain.

 

It was a beautiful blood red silk satin with lace trimming with velvet calf length skirts. However as joyful as I was when I donned the frock what pleased me even more were the Bordello Shoes—Red Velveteen Victorian button-up Boots with a two inch heel. My long thick wild curly Chestnut hair was caught up in a chignon I captured the Bohemian spirits of long gone Flappers.  She be the Flâneuse of Golden Gilded Age.

 

 

 

Rag’n’Bone Man – Bitter End (Mahogany Session)

 

 

 

Gaslighting


Ingrid Berman in Gaslight (with Charles Boyer)
Ingrid Berman in Gaslight (with Charles Boyer)

If you’ve ever had this happen to you then you know what it is to live in abject fear & terror. Gaslight – verb (used with object): to cause (a person) to doubt his or her sanity through the use of psychological manipulation.

Gaslight (1944)

http://youtu.be/0ToLfQU2xmg

The source is a George Cukor-directed thriller starring Ingrid Bergman as a woman whose husband tells her she’s imagining things that she claims to see in a musty old murder house, including the gaslights dimming by themselves.

Unless you’ve gone through this experience there is no understanding what it’s like to not know whether you’re crazy or the other person is playing you for a fool. I know how that feels. Cruelty in any form is a weapon that has the potential to destroy peoples lives. I’m just fortunate to have a Guardian Angel. This past weekend I survived an episode with a so-called professional member of the particular online business group I’d like to get into.  

A certain amount of trust is involved within our interactions with other human beings. School, the job, our House of Worships, entrepreneurial relationships all involved being able to trust the persons we hope to glean information from to build our business and who we trust to provide marketing and promotion information.  However some people in these online business groups are merely stalkers seeking to capitalize on the trusting natures and vulnerabilities of others.  Not just sad but depraved indifference to a fellow human beings feelings and emotions.  They are Social Media Vultures and/or Predators seeking unsuspecting prey.  Masters of Psychological Deception.  Tricks without the Treats. Vipers ready to strike without a moments notice.

Like anyone, I’m always looking to better myself. To this end I join groups on social media.  Having carefully researched the product you then join with like-minded individuals in order to gain strategies on how to succeed in your chosen field.  Skill building is important to ensure the success of any business venture.

So its scary stuff when even one person in the business group turns out to be a stalker who then libels and slanders you without cause all the while making you the victim think you’re at fault.  No compassion whatsoever. A total disregard for the victims emotional state.

It’s an especially cruel type of manipulation as the tormentor gains the innocent person’s trust only to betray them through psychological and emotional means. Once they gain your trust they either gradually or perhaps more aggressively twist their words so you feel like you’re losing your mind.  Ever so slightly they threaten you with police action, incarceration, jail, prison, legal actions, and many other types of evil tricks to make you believe that you’re at fault and deserve punishment. Despite their malevolent actions suddenly you become the criminal and then these sadists try you in their kangaroo court while acting as judge, jury and executioner.

A series of lies, rumors, innuendos, slander, falsehoods, cause you to doubt your ability to reason or make sense of a troubling situation.  The constant question of “What Just Happened Here?” goes through your mind until that Guardian Angel, Rescuer, Redeemer helps you gain perspective.

Then the demonic wickedness of these Master Manipulators is exposed and once again Salvation has been regained.  I was Blessed to have someone step in to help me and give me reassurance.  Also I was connected with a girlfriend who also went through domestic violence and sexual abuse scenarios like me who understand.  A calm, kind, gentle, loving voice who embraced me acceptance.  I was not alone. Somebody threw out the lifeline.  I grabbed hold and climbed out of this monstrous pit.

I am not deterred in my efforts to improve my finances.  One monkey don’t stop no show!  I see God’s Angels all around me.  I feel God’s Love. I now know that I am not at fault and I don’t have to be afraid.  Legions of Angels have been detached by God to protect me.  As for that spiteful, mean nasty person there will be both earthly and God’s Judgement now that he has been exposed.  Purgatory for this individual has only just begun.  Sanctuary for him will only be found in accepting the truth, repentance and restitution.

1 Chronicles 16:22 & Psalm 105:15

 New International Version (NIV)

22 “Do not touch my anointed ones;
    do my prophets no harm.”