Tag: humor

Simplify | The Daily Post

On By dancingpalmtreesIn Simplify | The Daily Post, Uncategorized4 Comments

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/simplify/ 

 

Simplify | The Daily Post

 

Saturday, February 10th I went back to my old building to see an exhibition and meet with my former colleagues.

It was fun seeing many of the old gang. We laughed, joked and hugged.

Most of my buddies were surprised when I told them I am planning to retire this year as opposed to staying until age 62.

Until I shared the truth behind my early retirement with my 50+ and 60+ friends.

I can no longer safely navigate subway stairs. Just in January I’ve had at least three close calls. Pushed twice and once just lost my balance.

Backstory is that I had a stroke at age 49. Lost much of the vision in my left eye resulting in limited depth perception.

So far my methods in getting to and from work is when I get off the train to wait for the crowds to lessen before attempting the stairs. Most times this strategy works but basically anybody can come up on my left side (My left eye is blurry) knock into me causing me to lose my balance. I try to grip the railing if possible.

Plus the subway steps often have garbage or debris on them and in this winter weather the steps can be slippery.

“Heck! The Old Grey Mare ain’t What She Used to be. “

My friends told me the honest truth that I need to apply for Disability and maybe Access a Ride (Disability transportation.) We had a brainstorming session of how to simplify my life so I can make it to 62 or even 60.

One strategy I used last week for two days was the Lyft car service which is similar to Uber. I got home at 1 a.m. instead of 2 am. It was safe and wonderful ride home, however my finances will not allow me this option except for maybe one or two days a month.

Next month March I’ll be taking another of my medical vacations. Meaning I will spend my vacation week going to various doctors.

Hey at least that simplifies my vacation time. I don’t have to plan exotic get aways as my body has made the decision for me.

It’s difficult to admit aging or even to adjust to the limitations of aging.

As you get older it’s best to admit all the stuff that you can no longer safely accomplish.

The Bible says, that Pride goes before a fall which in my case is literal.

50 is not the New 40 nor is 60 the New 50.

Next year if it’s God’s will I will turn 60 provided I get away from the evil subway stairs.

My Youth is long gone and I will be to if I don’t watch my steps!

Not to worry Speedy Millennials! Soon I too will go the way of vinyl records, cassettes, 8 track tapes and VCRS!  Then your generation will rule the world or at least be able to run down the subway steps without slow Baby Boomers in the way!

Crazy No Gravatar Vibes

On By dancingpalmtreesIn Android, Artificial Intelligence, C+C Music Factory - Things That Make You Go Hmmmm..., Mushrooms, Toadstools, Uncategorized4 Comments

Checked my Spam Folder and found these Gems!

WTF Moments and Things That Make You Go Hmmm..,…

LOL! Words in Italics are mine. Baby Boomers will understand the Cultural References.

Your Android variation must be android 4.0 KitKat and also above.
And also this method will certainly not deal with jellybean or listed below.

(I truly wish that my Android devices would spit out Kit Kats and Nestle Crunch Bars!}

We know you have been looking challenging all over throughout
the web to locate a not as well lousy hack for 8 Ball Swimming pool video game.

{The 8 Eight Ball? Inside the Swimming Pool? Whatever happened to the Pool table?!}

Finally, we can ensure you that you can take an alleviation since you have actually reached

{An Alleve? I could use a couple of those powerful headache pills right now!}

your destination. [Reached My Destination? Hope it’s Not Like the Movie, “Final Destination.”]

So currently with our useful gadget, you will
certainly please your coins needs continually.

{Honey I need all my Coins and Dollars plus significant amounts of Benjamins Right Now! My Coins Need to Please Me Not the only way around! Can your gadget lead me to the Pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow?

Remember Dumbass Incorporated, “It’s All About the Benjamins Baby!}

It’s All About The Benjamins Baby
It’s All About the Benjamins Baby

(Guys with your poor command of the English Language you Bozos are the Beavis and Butthead of Internet Blog Land!)

Likewise,
there is no study to obtain it to ensure that you can grin now.
If you can make a lot more coins, your game will certainly run well.

{I will be grinning a lot more when you hand over a Winning Lotto Ticket! BTW Feel Free to contribute to My PayPal Account. $75,000 sounds about right. But I know that you’re the one Trying to run a Game on unsuspecting people. But with me the most non-trusting, cynical and jaded person on Earth You’ve me Your match!}

you are in reality a good webmaster. The website loading
speed is incredible. It kind of feels that you are doing any
distinctive trick. Moreover, The contents are masterwork.
you’ve done a great activity on this matter!

{Oooo Wee! My head is swelling with the compliments! My Contents are Masterworks! I’m overcome with Happiness and Joy. Now to quote that famous film line, “Show Me The Money!” By the way Silly Bunny, Tricks are for Losers and you are one! Busted!! Your A.I. ~~ Artificial Intelligence gets a big fat F. Sorry your program does not compute!}

Honey Chile I also believe that little man Martians live inside Mushrooms and Toadstools! Really they are Condos for Gremlins, Leprechauns and Pixies! BTW Where you Smoking Shrooms? Stuck in an old Cheech and Chong movie? Did you Go on an LSD Trip back in the 60s or 70s and fail to return? Looks like it to me!

These photos were taken around 2010 or 2011 in Rochdale Village, Jamaica, Queens, NY
Fairy Condos