Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm – Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit

https://youtu.be/FyM8NVl4yBY

You don’t know me unless you’ve lived inside my mind and have descended the canyons of my cerebral cortex. Or been electrified by my snappy neurons. Or LSD Tripped onto the dark spaces of my imaginations……

You want an ever smiling Kewpie Doll from the carnival fair. A Stepford friend who is on stage and performing all the time.

Fuck your Chirpy sing song alongs……..Mitch is dead and the champagne bubbles are just wet splotches on a slippery floor.

For the nightmare is all I can see as I slit your throat while you feed me sugary fake happiness and false laughter.

Wind-up up baby doll toy. “My name is Talking Tina and I Hate you.” What are you gonna do with this new reality. You know the one with the sunny skies where Old Sol has burned through the ozone layer peeling your skin like an onion. Exposing your deadliest secrets. What? It’s not all fun and games? Coulda fooled me. Guess I’m the project that couldn’t be fixed, reigned in or repaired. Sad commentary on your skills or mine?

https://youtu.be/hSy8Ko1vSKQ

The cot pulled away from it’s winding sheets slowly undulating wrapping itself around Barbie’s effervescent grin.

Troll Doll

I’m smiling now aren’t you happy? As the blood spurts forth like a fountain from severed arteries. I’m smiling now and we are all happy. Say Hello Greetings to Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. Let me drop a trail of sugarplums to the Old Crone’s cottage where we will go inside and have the ancient hag for dinner. Whilst mortar and pestle grind decayed flesh.

Wounded in the House of Fallen Angels.

It’s a risk to admit you’re broken and possibly beaten or just plain tired and hurting inside.

Risky to say you hurt both physically and emotionally because then the Pharisees and Sadducees appear with knives, razors and spears ready to slash you because you’re not the image or the person they want you to be.

Crying and tears are considered character flaws.

Once you fall out of the House of Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm in essence you’re Fucked! Already down on your luck scavengers come to pick at your last bits of self-worth beating you down further than you already are.

Let’s be truthfully, Life is a Roller-coaster Ride. You slowly inch up higher and higher then drop quickly to precipitous lows. But once you get down in that valley here come the Happy Police demanding for you to get out. Comparing you to others who are 25-30 years younger with circumstances unlike my own. They want you to live lie. Be a fake or a phony. Being Sensitive is a crime. For me there is no refuge or sanctuary just rejection. Justice is sentencing to a lifetime in Social Media Wasteland. A judgement and sentence I refuse to accept.

Seems these people never remember the times they were down and out. When someone reached out to them with kindness and compassion instead of criticism and judgement. But for me the prescribed remedy is to rip the scabs off my scars yet still expect healing. I’m a Stigma, a failure because I’m not running through fields of tall grass and flowers singing tunes from the Sound of Music.

Even Jesus had to get away from clinging needy people with their hands out always wanting his miracles but not his teaching. Jesus went up to a mountain or to a desert place all the while knowing his disciples, his friends would desert and betray him. Yup they threw the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords under the bus. In these Techie days folks just label you a Social Media Loser.

But he embraced his broken places but not their false expectations and I will do the same. If you only accept me in my happy up times but not in my broken sad times why say you’re my friend at all? Unfortunate to say, But there exists no Love or Respect for Broken Angels.